“Maverick, how’s school going?” Lynette asks, passing the sauteed carrots to her husband.
Two months in and it’s still awkward sitting through dinner. I’m not used to normalcy. Everyone is welcoming, but I can’t seem to connect and often find myself becoming agitated. Locating an illegal fighting ring, or getting drunk at a bar, aren’t options to relieve my restlessness. Incorporating a strenuous exercise regimen into my daily routine has helped me to stay grounded. In turn, my muscles have become more defined.
“Good,” I mumble, forgoing providing details.
“I’m happy to hear that.” She beams.
Though Nix and I talk frequently, I’ve hardly spoken to Dee. He’s still pissed at me. John reached out a few times, but I always decline the collect call.
I absolutely give zero fucks about what happens to him. His estranged sister contacted me. All this time I thought he was the only child. I learned he had an ordinary childhood, supportive parents, and the white picket fence. The cause of his sadistic behavior is a mystery. Personally, my theory is he was born that way.
“Jeremy tells me you have a hell of a throwing arm,” Stan states, popping a sweet-and-sour-flavored meatball into his month.
“Language, honey.” Lynette nods towards their seven-year-old identical twin daughters, Lexi and Alex.
“Oh, right.” He slaps his forehead. “Sorry.”
I shrug. “I’m okay.”
“Maverick’s being modest, Dad,” Jeremy exclaims, vibrating in his chair. “He’s freaking awesome.”
Jeremy starts high school in September and plans to try out for the football team. We go to the park a couple times a week and run drills. I’ve sort of taken him under my wing. His pale blue eyes and golden-brown hair match Lynette’s perfectly. The girls, on the other hand, have their dad’s wheat-colored eyes and inky black hair.
“Maverick, can you watchFrozenwith Alex and me after dinner?”
Lynette covers her mouth, attempting to hide her smile.
“Better you than me,” Jeremy mutters, giving me a pitying look.
I’ve watched that damn movie nearly twenty times since moving here. I’m a goddamnFrozenexpert.
“Sure,” I answer.
“Yay!” they cheer happily.
“And you’re Lexi, not Alex.” I wink at her.
“Aww, man,” she gripes, crossing her arms in dismay. “How did you know?”
“It’s a secret,” I whisper.
“Tell us, pleeeease,” Alex pleads.
“Sorry, my lips are sealed.” I mimic locking my mouth and throwing away the key.
They’re double the trouble, using my inability to tell them apart to prank me relentlessly. I’ve been carefully studying their mannerisms and nuances, thus finally shifting the tide in my favor. After dinner, I endure another two hours ofFrozen, then trudge upstairs to my bedroom and fall onto the soft mattress in anguish.
Cocoa!I mentally shout. On the outside, I seem perfectly fine, but internally, misery is eating me alive.Every day the wound in my heart grows larger. I miss her so fucking much. How am I supposed to live without her? John should’ve pulled the trigger.
A knock on the door interrupts my dark thoughts.
“Come in,” I call, sitting up.
Lynette peeks inside. “Got a minute?”
“Yeah.”
She sits beside me and hands me an album. “I put this scrapbook together for you.”
