“No, it’s me.”
“Tell me what I need to do to fix us.”
“There’s nothing you can do. I need space,” I lie.
“Is that the only explanation you’re going to give me?” He punches the dashboard. “That’s not good enough!”
“I’m doing this for you.”
“No, Cin. You’re doing this for you!”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You have a funny way of showing it,” he says sarcastically.
“I want the best for you.”
“You’re what’s best for me.” He grips the back of my neck, bringing me forward to slam his lips to mine.
I turn my head, ending the kiss. “Stop.”
“We belong together.”
“It’s over!” I stare straight ahead, unable to bear the devastation on his face. “We were stupid to think we’d get married one day. There’s so much we haven’t seen or done. I don’t want to wake up one day and be dissatisfied with the choices I’ve made in my life.”
“I chose to attend Lexington University to be with you.”
“I didn’t ask you to do that.”
“I love you so much, Cin.”
“I’m sorry.” I have to remain steadfast. Trevor is my first love, so he’ll always have a place in my heart.
“Who is he?”
“There’s no one.”
“You’re lying.”
“There isn’t,” I insist.
The school will become a war zone if Trevor finds out Art is the reason we broke up. I need to make sure the tenuous peace between the boys is kept, at least until after graduation.
“Do I look like a fucking idiot to you?”
“It’s the truth!”
“It better be, because if I find out otherwise, he’s fucking dead.” He leaves the car, slamming the door shut.
Over the last several weeks, Cin has become more and more distant, spending the night with friends when she should be in my bed. I thought we’d be fucking like rabbits since she and Trevor are no longer an item. Friday night was the last time I had the pleasure of coming inside of her, which was a week ago yesterday. She’s never stayed away this long. Having her only once a week isn’t nearly enough for me. When I see Trevor in school or around the house, I want to tell him how good his ex-girlfriend’s pussy is. The only thing stopping me is Cin.She might stop talking to me altogether. And if Ricky and her mother find out about us, they’ll send me packing for sure. Whenever I ask what her problem is, she makes up some bullshit excuse. If Cin thinks she’s about to end it with me, she has another thing coming. It’s about time I nip this in the fucking bud. She doesn’t know who the hell she’s dealing with. I’m done lying to myself. I want all of her. She loves me, though there’s a possibility she made the declaration in the heat of the moment. No, I can’t believe that. I want to become a better person for her, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I’m finally sleeping through the night, and I stopped cutting because of her. I can’t be without her. If she rejects me, I’m going to fucking lose it.
Cin got home thirty minutes ago, but I wait for Ricky and Missy to leave for their morning deliveries before I silently creep up the stairs.
I twist the doorknob, but find it locked. “Open this damn door, or I’ll bulldoze right the fuck through it.”
“I’m busy,” she whispers.
“You have three fucking seconds to open this motherfucking door.”
