“Give it back to him.”
“I’m not giving the little booger a thing.”
“Now,” Katrina says sternly.
“Why is it, he gets away with everything, but the moment I do something wrong it’s the end of the world? I hate it here!”
“That’s not true,” Katrina says.
“Yes, it is!” Lilah wails.
“Stay out of your sister’s room,” Katrina grasps Dionte’s chin. “The next time you’ll be punished for two weeks—no games, cell phone, or TV.”
“But Mom—”
“No buts. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Great, the matter is settled. Lilah, if you could be so kind as to give your brother back his game, I would really appreciate it.”
Lilah leaves the kitchen with a satisfied look on her face, with Dionte following behind.
“Is it possible to love two boys at the same time?” I blurt.
I’m comfortable talking to Katrina about this topic. I know she’ll give me sound advice and won’t judge me. Unlike my mom, she won’t assume the worst.
“Yes, that’s absolutely possible. Do you love two boys?”
“I think so. I mean it feels like I do. What should I do?”
“I can’t answer that question for you. Do what you feel is right, here.” She touches my stomach. “Your gut instinct will help you through this. Your heart and brain aren’t reliable. One is filled with emotions, while the other will overanalyze the situation.”
“I’m so confused. I know with Trevor, there’s a possibility we’ll remain together through college and get married. He’s safer. The other boy is an unknown variable, but the way he makes me feel… Trevor has never made me feel that way. I don’t even know if this boy has even contemplated a future with me, because he doesn’t see one for himself.”
“If you had to make the decision today to never see or talk to one of them again, who would you choose?”
“The thought of being without either of them makes me sick.”
Fuck. I was hoping she would say dump the other boy and stay with Trevor. I should’ve known she wouldn’t make this decision easy for me.
“Am I a horrible person?”
“No, sweetheart. You’re young and allowed to make mistakes. Life is about trial and error, so trust me, you’ll make plenty more.”
“Some people would say I’m selfish and have no morals.”
“And I say fuck them. ‘Do not judge, lest ye be judged.’ No one on this earth is so perfect they can judge anyone else. If you decide to be with Trevor, you’ll have to tell him the truth. No secret can stay buried forever. He may forgive you, and the two of you can move on, or maybe he won’t. You made the conscious choice to cheat, so you must face the consequences. This will be a life lesson for you. One you’ll always remember.”
“Thank you, Auntie.” I give her a hug.
“You’re welcome, Niecy.”
My eyes roam over her body. I can’t help it. I look away when I realize what I’m doing, but it’s nearly impossible to keep my gaze from wandering back to her. It doesn’t help that she looks fucking good tonight, hanging up her baggy, unappealing clothes to wear a form-hugging gold dress. No heels—I doubt if my girl knows how to walk in those—but the black Chuck Taylors she paired with the dress works. She walks around, smiling and socializing with guests, with that asshole Trevor at her side. Damn if I don’t wish it was me. Cin is supposed to be a convenient fuck, that’s all, but she’s becoming so much more.
The bottom line is she’s not for me because she deserves so much better, not an ex-drug addict and suicide survivor who’s responsible for the death of his little brother.I wouldn’t be able to give her my all. Would she even leave Trevor for me? It’s probably better not to rock the boat. I’ll enjoy her while I can. We’ve been sating our uncontrolled lust by fucking almost every night like wild beasts. The cutting has stopped, but my nightmares continue to haunt me. Damn, she makes me want to be a better person.
“Hello, earth to Art. Is anyone home?”
