“Can I ask you something?” I know this question might set him off, but I’m compelled to ask it anyway.
“It’s a free country.”
“Have you ever been to Cole’s gravesite?”
“Not since the day he was buried.”
“You should visit.”
“No.”
“It could help you to—”
“Do you not understand fucking English? I said no.” He leaves the bed, searching for his scattered clothes.
“Where are you going?”
“You don’t know when to shut the fuck up, Cin.”
“I’m sorry, okay? Please don’t go,” I say, standing.
I grab his face to bring his lips to mine. He pushes me back onto the bed. We spoke no more of his brother that night.
It’s been difficult to function at school due to lack of sleep. My family, friends, and most importantly, Trevor notices I haven’t been my usual self. We don’t have sex as much, so he’s starting to wonder if he did something wrong. I don’t recognize myself anymore. This isn’t me, but I’m not ready for what Art and I have to be over.
“Morning,” Josh says in greeting, sitting in the chair opposite me. He drops his glass of milk and breakfast burrito on the table.
I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t hear when the door opened.
“Morning,” I reply, distracted.
“What is up with you, Cin?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.” I look down, pretending to be interested in my soggy cereal.
“You’re not. You’ve been walking around with your head in the clouds all week.”
“I said I’m fine.”
“Sorry for trying to see what’s been bugging my almost stepsister,” he replies, defensively. “I’m tired of Trevor asking me about you.”
I jerk my head up. “What did he say?”
“He’s just trying to figure out what the hell he did to make you switch up all of a sudden. Since he’s been over here every night this week, I thought things were cool between you two.”
“Huh?”
“You know,” he whispers. “His nightly visits.”
“Oh, right.”
He gives me a “what the hell did you think I was talking about” look.
“I’ve been meaning to rip into his ass about all the noise you guys make.” He takes a drink of his milk.
“No!” I yell.
My outburst causes him to choke on his milk, spilling most of it on his clothes.
