"Let me," he said.
We undressed each other in pieces, his mouth following his hands to press against each new inch of skin. Every time one of us bit or scratched, the other soothed it after. I was learning a new language, one where rough and gentle weren't opposites, and it terrified me how much I wanted to be fluent.
By the time we were both naked, I was shaking. No one had ever undressed me like I mattered.
He stepped back and looked at me in the darkness. I let my eyes travel down his body, didn't try to hide what I wanted.
I followed him onto the bed. His legs wrapped around my hips and I kissed him deep, grinding down against him just to hear the sound he made. His nails raked down my back and I groaned into his mouth.
I pulled back and pressed my lips to his jaw, his throat, the spot below his ear. He tilted his head to give me room, and I bit down on the tendon of his neck, then licked the sting away. His hips jerked up against mine.
"Joel." His voice was wrecked. "Fuck."
I kissed the spot I'd bitten and moved lower, my mouth tracing down his chest. I took my time with him the way he'd taken his time with me, learning what made him gasp, what made him arch off the bed. When I bit his hip bone, he swore and grabbed my hair. When I kissed it softly, he loosened his grip and stroked my scalp instead.
Give and take. Teeth and tenderness.
I crawled back up his body and kissed him. He wrapped his legs around my hips and pulled me down against him, our cocks sliding together, and a sound escaped my throat that I couldn't hold back.
I reached between us and wrapped my hand around both of us, stroking us together. Red's breath caught and his hips jerked forward, and the slide of his cock against mine made my vision blur at the edges.
"I want to be inside you," I said.
"Yeah." His voice had gone rough and wrecked. "Yeah, okay."
He reached for the nightstand and pressed a bottle into my hand.
We were face to face now, his eyes on mine, and there was nowhere to hide. Every other time I'd done this, I'd made sure not to look. Easier that way. But Red was watching me like he wanted to see everything, and I couldn't make myself look away.
I settled between his legs and he hooked his ankles behind my thighs, pulling me closer. I slicked my fingers and reached between us, circling him before pressing inside. His eyes fluttered shut and his lips parted, and I wanted to memorize every detail.
"Look at me," I said.
His eyes opened. I held his gaze while I worked my finger in and out, adding a second when his body relaxed. The stretch made him gasp, and his hands gripped my shoulders hard enough to bruise.
I curled my fingers and found the spot that made him cry out. I swallowed the sound with my mouth, kept stroking that same place, and his hips started rocking against my hand.
"Another," he managed. "Please."
I added a third finger, and his whole body shuddered. His muscles clenched around me and his cock was leaking against his stomach, and I wanted to stay like this, wanted to watch him fall apart under my hands for as long as he'd let me.
"Joel." His nails dug into my shoulders. "I'm ready."
I pulled my fingers out and rolled on a condom, slicked myself up. He was watching my face, his eyes dark and open.
I lined up and pushed inside.
The heat of him surrounded me inch by inch. I went as slow as I could, giving him time to feel everything, and his mouth fell open as I sank deeper. When I was all the way inside I stopped, my hips flush against him, and pressed my forehead to his.
His heart was pounding against my chest. Mine was matching it beat for beat.
"Okay?" I asked.
"Yeah." His voice was barely a whisper. "God, Joel, I missed this."
I started to move, long and deep, pulling almost all the way out before pushing back in. His legs tightened around me and hishands slid down my back, and every thrust was slow, unhurried. Every inch of him surrounded me, gripping me, pulling me back in.
I buried my face in his neck and breathed him in: salt and skin and cheap soap. I kissed his throat, open-mouthed, tasting his pulse under my tongue. He tilted his head to give me more room, and I closed my mouth over the spot where his heartbeat was pounding and sucked gently.
