It’s almost painful as I go to my own room upstairs instead of his, and when I get in my own bed, my roommate is asleep with his own girlfriend across the room from me.
And there’s a rattling, empty feeling in my core.
That’s a real relationship.
Mine isn’t.
You already have far too much power over me, Niko Berlant, and if I got in that bed with you…
I can’t think about what it would do to me.
But to him, it would mean nothing.
I’m still in a haze, and I stay strong, trying to think about anything other than him.
I grab my phone to set my alarm and that’s when I see the messages I’ve missed.
And a chill goes down my spine.
I have messages from Niko’s ex.
And they read like messages from a madman.
CallumXvX: What are u doing with him?
CallumXvX: I’m not fucking finished with Niko.
CallumXvX: U know how easily I can find u? I have ur coordinates. He always hated u. Used to tell me how badly he wanted to hurt u.
CallumXvX: Saw u deleted that comment from before. Think I didn’t see it? It’s so easy to suffocate someone in their sleep. Think about that.
CallumXvX: Try taking him from me and see what happens.
13
Niko
Niko, scrolling through comments before sleep, earlier tonight
Username: Dragonfly
At first, I didn’t pick up on it.
But as I scroll through recent comments, I realize that Hercules hasn’t commented in a while.
I liked Hercules.
Liked his comments, at least.
I don’t really care, though, because commenters don’t matter when I have enough going on in my real life with Oliver, now.
Weird to think that.
Since when is my actual life more engaging than my Dragonfly world?
It’s like everything’s become the opposite of what it once was.
Like I’d gotten so used to drowning, but now Oliver’s pulling me back above the surface.
