She shakes her head slowly. “Even Aaron misses you. He doesn’t admit it. But he’s bored that there’s no one who’s worse than him at card games.”
I let out an unexpected laugh, and miraculously, she starts laughing, too.
“God,” she finally says with a sigh. “Niko, I’m sorry you had to see this. Welcome to the crazy factory.”
“This is nothing,” he promises her. “I’m sorry you had such an awful night. I don’t know you that well, Emily, but I know you deserve better.”
She gives me a sad smile.
“You’re so lucky, Oliver. Can’t even imagine having a boyfriend who’sactuallycaring like him.”
A coil of guilt wraps around my heart.
I want to tell her it’s all fake, but I don’t have it in me, right now.
“You’ll find someone so much better than Darien. But you have to promise me something. Don’t start smoking, Em.”
“I won’t. I don’t even like the taste. It’s kind of gross.”
“I smoked for a while when I was fifteen, then another little lapse when I was seventeen. Not a great path to go down,” Niko says.
Emily sighs. “If Mom and Dad split up, you two have to be my new parents. End of story.”
Niko bites back a smile. “Not too sure I’m the best role model, but okay.”
“At leastsomeonein this fucking world is capable of love,” she says. “You guys are cute together.”
I glance over at Niko, and he looks back at me.
Love.
What a strange word to think about, while Niko’s eyes are on me.
It starts to feel too overwhelming to look at him, so I stand up and turn off the heater. “Okay, Em. I think you’ve probably scared Mom and Dad enough for the next year. I don’t condone drinking, but if you do, please, for the love of God, have water in between each drink.”
“Yes. Right. Water. I need water right now.”
We head inside with her, get her a giant insulated cup full of water, and Mom makes her some buttered toast. While Emily’s in the bathroom, I talk with Mom and Dad, trying to reassure them that she will be okay. I don’t mention anything about their supposed fighting. It’s a topic for a time of day that isn’t nearly five in the morning.
My parents spend about ten minutes straight apologizing to Niko for the commotion, even though I can tell he isn’t fazed by it at all.
In fact, he’s calmer than I’ve ever seen him. He’s been like a steadfast rock, all night. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that Niko Berlant could be a pillar of stability, but that’s exactly what he’s been for me tonight.
When Niko and I are heading back up the stairs, I look back down at my parents.
“Oh, yeah. Merry Christmas,” I call down to them.
“Merry Christmas!” Mom calls back up. “I’m still goingto be up by nine making cinnamon rolls for breakfast, don’t you kids worry.”
Once we’re back in my room, I sit on the edge of my mattress, staring out into the middle distance for a moment.
I don’t bother turning on my bedside lamp.
Right now, the darkness feels peaceful.
“I don’t even know what to say,” I tell him.
“Don’t say anything, then.”
