“Me? I’m just fine. I’m happy for you, Andi.” I smile, squeezing her hand.
“Thank you,” she says, squeezing back and looking over at her goofy husband who’s explaining something to Rowan and gesticulating wildly. “So, is there anything new and exciting happening in your life?” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.
I sigh dejectedly and take a sip of my mojito. Condensationdrips down and I watch it with rapt attention as I try and think of a response. “I think I need to make some changes in my life,” I say.
Andreea nods in thought. “Change is good sometimes.”
“Yeah, I mean look at you—married and with a baby on the way. Things are definitely changing.”
My older sister squeezes my upper arm and gives me a soft, dare I say—motherly look. “I know things are going to be different, but I’ll still always be here for you, no matter what. As for the change…embrace it. It might surprise you. Besides, I think it’s time you found your happiness. You deserve it. And Rowan makes you happy.”
I nod and keep the tears at bay. She’s right—Rowan does make me happy, but I’m damaged goods. All I’d do is hurt him in the end. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I hug my sister tight. “I really am happy for you, Andi.”
“I know you are.”
When I walk over to Max and Rowan, I hook my arm through my best friend’s elbow. “Let’s get out of here,” I tell him, needing this one last night with him. He nods, his eyes widening for just a fraction, glittering gold and green flecks standing out in the moonlight.
My hands are in his hair the moment our hotel door shuts closed. My lips on his. It’s not a frantic push and pull like it was yesterday. Instead, I take my time, imprinting every single inch of his body to memory. God, I’ll miss him. So much.
I dig my fingers into the muscles at his back and kiss him until I can’t breathe. I move us to the bed and pull him on top of me until I can’t see any part of the room anymore. All I see ishim.
Rowan senses what I need and takes things slow, matching my every writhing movement, my every sigh and pant and groan. We come together, his lips on mine, my arms around hisback, his caging me in. It’s messy and it’s perfect and it’s so unmistakably heartbreaking. That I’ll never have him like this again. That I’ve wasted years of his life when he could have made a life with someone else. That I feel so broken to make a relationship work because I know deep down he deserves better.
My eyes prickle and I close them tight. A few small tears escape anyway.
“Are you crying?” he whispers softly when he pulls back, concerned eyes roaming my face.
I smile and shake my head. “I’m fine, Ro. I just—I really care about you,” I say, blinking back more tears.
Rowan wipes the moisture from the corner of my eye and touches his forehead to mine. “I can’t imagine my life without you, Mags.”
His words wrap around me like a hug and it’s everything I want to hear. Except I don’t deserve them.
I don’t deserve him.
CHAPTER 15
Maggie
Four Years Ago - Melbourne
This is it.I can feel it in my bones. I can taste it on my tongue—everything I’ve worked so hard for the last few years is right in front of me.
I take a deep breath and bend my knees, holding my racquet lightly, but firmly, with both hands. My eyes are rooted on Elena, my opponent in the final match at the Australian Open. Even though I’m up 30-40, anything can happen, so I stay alert and ready myself for her next move.
I try not to think back on last year’s match and my first ever time playing in the Australian Open, where I lost to Elena in the qualifiers. I was crushed, but that loss taught me a lot of lessons. Mainly that I needed to take my training a lot more seriously. I smirk, knowing that I’ve spent the last year at the Coastal Beach Country Club, living and breathing tennis alongside my best friend.
I risk a quick glance to the stands and see Rowan leaningforward in his seat, knee bouncing, his hands clasped so tight his knuckles are white. My sister, Andreea, sits next to him, clutching her pearls. The sight makes me smile. The two most important people in my life are here.I got this.
Elena serves the ball and I return it with a backhand. I’ve watched her gameplay so many times now, her movements are familiar. I anticipate her next move and take a slice shot, adding just enough backspin to throw her off her game. The low bounce does exactly what I want it to, forcing her to pivot and attempt the next shot. Even though she hits it with enough force, the ball hits the net and bounces unceremoniously off the court.
I raise both my arms in the air as the crowd in the sold out arena cheers wildly. Rowan and Andreea are on their feet, hugging and jumping up and down with joy and I laugh, pointing at them with my racquet and beaming.
Elena smashes hers against the blue court a few times before approaching me at the net. I can tell she’s furious, and as much as I want to gloat, I reign in my smile. Last year when she won, I told her congratulations and she ignored me. Now, she shakes my hand so hard it hurts, but I don’t pay her any mind.
“Good job, this time,” she bites out and I yank my hand back with an eyeroll.
“Better luck next time,” I say and shake the umpire’s hand on my way to the stands. Rowan bends down and hugs me so tight, I’m afraid he might crush me or lift me over the stand’s railing. He does neither and lets me go, planting a kiss on my forehead.
