He let out a shaky breath. “And then, when I figured out we were mates, I panicked. Because I thought maybe none of it was real for you, that you only wanted me because of what’s written into our DNA. And if that was true, if the only reason you looked at me that way was instinct?” His voice broke, and he breathed deeply, fists clenched.
Finally, he spoke again, his voice hoarse and low. “I think that would’ve broken me, from you.”
He held Tom’s gaze with what looked like an effort, his eyes full of raw regret. “And I’m sorry. For how I handled it. For making you feel like none of it mattered—likeyoudidn’t matter. You did. Youdo.”
Tom stared at him. Bryce’s body was rigid, as if bracing for a blow, and suddenly Tomsawit—the man who made bad jokes and gave warm hugs, was standing here stripped bare. He’d offered up the most private parts of himself to Tom, and Tom could destroy him with the wrong word.
Tom was still hurting. But Bryce was, too. And somehow, that mattered more.
“The first time I met you, I liked you.” Tom’s voice was steady. “Not because you’re fine as hell—though youare, let’s be clear—but because of how you looked out for your pack, and how you made me feel welcome.”
Bryce’s face twisted, hope and fear warring in his eyes.
“Maybe the mate thing lit the match,” Tom said. “But what’s kept it burning is you. All of you.” He hesitated. “So yeah. Maybe we forget about fate and instincts. Maybe we should… I don’t know, date?”
It came out sounding horribly uncertain because, while the idea had made sense in his head, saying it out loud had brought Zack to mind all over again. Tom was the one who’d pursued Zack and asked him out. That terrible afternoon when he’d left Tom, Zack had told him that accepting his invitation had been the second-worst decision of his life. Moving in together was, apparently, the worst.
“Or not,” he said swiftly, panic seizing him because Bryce would get to know him, and then he’d find out all those things in Tom that Zack had hated so much. How exhausting Tom could be, how much he felt, how hard he tried. “We should just forget it.”
“Why? You’ve just remembered you don’t put out till the third date?” Bryce asked, his eyes beginning to gleam with happiness. And then he paused, looking closely at Tom. “What is it?” he asked.
“Nothing,” Tom said, shaking his head to underline his words. “It was a bad idea.”
“It was agreatidea, except for the ‘not putting out’ part,” Bryce said. His eyes were serious on Tom’s. “What changed between one breath and the next?”
“I’m just not—I mean, I’m kind of crap at relationships,” he said. Which was a rather briefer explanation than Zack’s hour-long, bullet-pointed version.
Bryce’s eyes were soft on his and Tom didn’t know what it was he’d seen. But then his smile grew brighter. “Well then, we’ll just be crap together,” he said, and the way he made it sound so easy quieted Tom’s panic. He could do this.Theycould do this.
“Though I agree you’ve got ground to make up if you think smearing mouse droppings on me makes for a good first date,” Bryce added.
“Rat,” Tom said, happiness surging in him until he felt he could fly.
“What?”
“They were rat droppings. Mouse shit is strictly second-date material. God, you reallyarecrap at this, aren’t you?”
Bryce laughed, and the life, the happiness, thewarmthin his face was everything Tom had tumbled headlong in love with. He curved his hand around the back of Bryce’s neck and drew him in for a kiss, and theeaseof it almost undid him.
When they finally parted, Bryce’s eyes were shining. “This is what I want,” he said softly. “You. You’reeverythingI want.”
Tom closed his eyes, and let the words land in his heart. Forever.
“Me too,” he said quietly.
And the sun set over the city below, unnoticed.
Chapter Thirty-one
BRYCE
Bryce had to steel himself to walk back to the staircase, and found Tom’s reassuring grip on his shoulder helped. He should have been embarrassed that his fear was so obvious, but Tom’s touch burned warmer than anything else.
By the time they reached the bookstacks, three non-shifters in BDUs were waiting for them, just as Matt had warned. Two of them went up the stairs to retrieve Jax, while the other escorted them to Bennett’s set of chambers on the second floor of the building.
The whole way there, Bryce kept sneaking looks at Tom. He was filthy, his hands were bruised and scraped, and he smelt so bad that the lieutenant escorting them was breathing through his mouth rather than his nose, but Bryce had never seen anything so beautiful in his life.
Somehow, against all logic, all possibility, Tom had forgiven him. He’d looked at Bryce like he still wanted him.
