And who was I to argue?
***
There were two Minas, at least until one of them died. Growing up, there was American Mina, quiet, focused, driven, and then there was Norwegian Mina, loud, trilling, boisterous, and active. In Norway, I had been free. In the U.S., I was pretty much alone, my parents barely acknowledged my existence, and the friendships I had were few and surface-level.
My father had remarried and ended up just as unhappy as he had been in his first marriage. My mother had a long-term boyfriend who hated me as much as I hated him. Both my parents had become too busy to be overly interested in their daughter.
In Norway, my godmother always asked me where I was going when I went out to play and always welcomed me back home to a warm, delicious meal. In Norway, Oskar was mine. We would always play together, be together from sunrise to sunset. Oskar knew what I wanted before I did and always went out of his way to make sure I was happy. Oskar always,alwaysgot half of my lunch, 2/3rds if I thought he was looking peaky. I would read books that I knew he would like, so I could tell their stories to him as we hiked and rambled. To other people, he was always My Oskar, like it was a title. My Oskar had always puffed his chest up whenever he heard me refer to him in that way. I didn’t notice the concerned looks that we started to get from adults as we got older, adults who whispered and watched my hands on his shoulders, in his hair. I should have noticed.
***
I could feel the obsession brewing up in me the very moment I opened my eyes. It came hot, strong, causing me to salivate, toreach out for a warm body, a body that wasmine,and when I grasped nothing, it forced me awake, telling me to go find what wasmineand claim them.
The cabin was empty save Ettore, who, true to his word, was tending the fire. All the scraps of blankets in the cabin were piled on me, and I was tucked right next to the hearth, a slightly warm rock under my feet. They must have heated it in the fireplace so my toes wouldn’t get too cold without their body heat.
“Ettore, where are the others? What time is it?” I said after clearing my throat.
He smiled a beatific smile and went to come closer, his smile dimming when I flinched away. I needed my meds, and I didn’t know what I would do without them. I just needed to stay away from them all until I could get myself under control.
Ettore didn’t say anything about my flinch, just moved slowly and sat back down at the fire.
“How are you? It seems you had quite a night.”
“Well, yes,” I rubbed sleep from my eyes and tried to draw myself together, to put on a mask of normalcy. “I woke up, and you all were too cold and wouldn’t wake up, so I warmed you guys. I think after all the adrenaline, I just conked out.”
“Yes, I think all of us owe you our lives. Jin Woo and I owe you twice.”
“No,” I said resolutely, “I was only able to help because you all kept me warm; you don’t owe me anything.”
“No, we dotesoro. We do. And we will show you how much we do once we leave this island.”
I tried not to look at him. Tried to push down the feeling that screamed that he was MINE MINE MINE.
“You both do so much for me here. Let’s think about everything once we get off of the island. How about that?”
“Alright,” he said so softly, as if I was fragile, precious.
“The others?” I asked.
“Bartosz and Oskar are planning for another try with the sheep. Jin Woo is looking for firewood in the forest. We don’t want to have a repeat of last night.”
“And you guys are all alright?”
Ettore did his little elegant shrug.
“It seems that we are…ah, tough sons of bitches.”
That dragged a smile out of me, but it didn’t last long on my face.
“I’ll go and gather some mushrooms for lunch or dinner today.”
Ettore reached out his hand as I stood up, as if to stop me, but dropped his hand back at the very last minute.
“Are you sure you don’t want to rest a bit more? There’s no rush on the mushrooms.”
I flashed him my best, ‘I’m not crazy OR sick’ smile.
“Don’t worry about me. It looks like I’m a tough son of a bitch, too.”
