“Definitely. I guess I forgot that it wasn’t real, you know. The lights and the people, and you were so good with the grand gestures. I don’t even remember you asking me to marry you but I do remember standing in that chapel.”
“Me, too.”
“Why did you marry me?”
“You made me feel like I was a part of the world and not just an observer,” he said.
He’d known from a very early age that he was bound for the military. He’d always had an affinity for weapons and had gone hunting with his dad and uncles from the time he was eight. A certain sense had enabled him to sight his target and make his shot.
“I know you’re in the Marines, Jay, but I know so little else about you.”
She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and tipped her head to the side to study him. He wondered what she saw when she looked at him. He knew he was in top physical formthanks to the rigorous requirements of the Corps, but beyond that what did she see?
“I’m a sniper. And have been just about my entire career.”
He didn’t talk about his work and wouldn’t do it now except to give an overview of what he did. This was one part of his life that he never wanted Alysse to be too familiar with.
“Oh. And you like it?” she asked.
“I guess,” he said. He wasn’t about to reveal his near miss in Afghanistan or how it had hit him hard that he might die and no one would even care. That changed a man, but not in a way he wanted anyone else to know. Especially a woman he was hoping to woo back into his arms. It had made him return to the past and acknowledge he needed to make amends for how he’d left her.
“I don’t know, Jay. If you want me to trust you, you have to open up a little more than that,” she said.
“You’re not going to make this easy, are you?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Nope. I know that it’s not very nice but we did easy the first time and look how that turned out.”
He doubted that she didn’t really care. He’d hurt her and he wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to wound him the same way. He deserved that for running out on his marriage to her.
He was relieved when he heard the sound of footsteps behind them and glanced over to see the waiter from the hotel delivering their salads. Food was the distraction they needed so he didn’t have to continue to answer uncomfortable questions about himself.
He wasn’t sure that this plan of his was being executed to its best advantage. He needed to regroup. But he didn’t want just to approach Alysse as though she was a mission. He kept getting distracted by the scent of her perfume and the way her hair blew in the wind.
After the waiter left, he lifted his glass toward her. “To second chances.”
“Toearnedsecond chances,” she said, taking a sip of her wine. “I’m sorry if I sounded mean before...”
He had to laugh. It was not Alysse’s nature to speak harshly to anyone. He’d learned that during their week together. “You didn’t. Don’t apologize for your anger at me. I feel incredibly lucky that you agreed to stay for dinner.”
“I’m not sure I agreed, but I do have a lot of questions about the way our marriage ended and about you,” she said.
“You deserve to have them answered and much more. But not tonight,” he said.
She gave him a hard-level stare and he knew she was searching for answers in his eyes. He didn’t know what the future held so he tried to convey the only thing he was certain of, which was his sincerity.
They ate dinner and talked about things that didn’t really matter to him. Books and movies that he hadn’t seen or read; he was behind on his popular culture. And there was a little awkwardness to the evening. But that was to be expected. What he hadn’t anticipated was how much he wanted her still. And that that was the only thing he could think about.
“HOW LONG ARE you on leave?”Alysse asked after the waiters had left.
“Two weeks. I’m actually due to sign my reenlistment papers soon,” he said.
“And what?” she asked. “You want to spend them with me?”
“I’d like to.”
“I’m not changing my life for you, Jay.”
“I don’t expect you to,” he said. “I know that I’m very lucky that you agreed to have dinner with me.”
