Not like two people who could barely manage two weeks together. She felt sad and didn’t enjoy the rest of the ride, but she stayed where she was with Jay’s arms around her. She wanted to be able to remember this day and have a nice memory of it.
When they landed, Jay helped her out of the basket and they bought a picture frame from the souvenir shop before getting on his bike and heading back to Oceanside. She was tired and rested her head against his shoulders. She wished there was some way to see into the future, but there wasn’t. And when he dropped her off at her house and gave her a quick kiss goodbye, she made herself watch him leave.
She knew he was coming back later to pick her up for their date, but she still wanted to watch him go. Maybe she’d build up an immunity to him leaving so when he finally left for good she wouldn’t let him take all of her soul with him.
JAY SENT LUCIENa text that he was bringing Alysse and the other man had decided he’d bring his girlfriend, too. Drinks turned into dinner and a long, lovely evening. Lucien’s girlfriend, India, was tall, almost six feet, and of African descent. She had beautiful skin, close-cut curly hair and the most exotic-looking eyes that Alysse had ever seen.
She felt like a pale plain Jane next to India. It would have been easy to fade into the background except that India wasn’t the type of woman who left anyone out. She worked in the fashion industry as a hand model. Honestly, why this woman’s face wasn’t in front of the camera was beyond Alysse.
Lucien was more guarded, but still, he was relaxed and hesmiled easily whenever India said something that amused him. They were openly affectionate with each other and, in an instant, Alysse realized what she wanted her relationship with Jay to be like. This was how a couple should be, she thought.
Even Jay was a bit more at ease. She’d never say he was relaxed, but instead of being completely silent, he and Lucien had a steady conversation going the entire time they were eating dinner. Occasionally he’d glance over at her.
“How long have you two been together?” India asked after they were seated at a nightclub and the men went to get them drinks.
“It’s complicated...we were married for a week and then divorced and now we’ve been together ten days.”
India laughed, a big booming sound that made heads turn. “Thatiscomplicated. So what’s your story? Why are you with Jay?”
No one had ever talked to Alysse that way. “I don’t know. He’s so different from everyone else in my life and I can’t help being attracted to him.”
“He is a hottie,” India agreed. “But then so is my Lucien.”
“You two seem like an interesting couple,” Alysse said. Lucien was tall and bald and had a jagged scar running down his forearm. He wore expensive clothing but he still looked rough, as though he’d put a fresh coat of paint over his dents and scratches but she could still see them.
“That’s an understatement,” India said. “Like you, it was attraction that brought us together first. Then we got to know one another. Underneath all that hotness is a solid man.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Lucien is always there when I need him. I don’t even have to say it sometimes and he just shows up,” India said. “You know?”
“Yeah, I guess I know what you mean,” Alysse said, butshe wasn’t sure. Jay was still figuring out where he wanted to be.
“You don’t,” India said, but not unkindly. “Why did you two divorce?”
“He left me,” she said. “I know you probably think I’m crazy for trying this again.”
“I don’t judge another person’s heart,” India said. “When Lucien and I have our problems, they are monsters and we fight like it’s the end of the world, but he’s still the man I dream about and I don’t think anyone else will do.”
“I don’t want it to be that way for me,” Alysse admitted. “I’m afraid to fall for Jay until he knows what’s going on with him. I just want something nice and normal like what you and Lucien have.”
“Nothing is nice and normal in love. It’s bold and passionate,” India said. “Can I give you some advice?”
“Sure,” Alysse said.
“Holding back is probably not going to bring you the results you want. Yes, it’s safer to try to wait until he knows what he wants but if you aren’t being honest with yourself and with him, he’s never going to want you. You can’t wait for him to be ready for you, you might not still be together if you don’t go for it now,” India said.
Her words echoed in Alysse’s lonely heart. If Jay was her great romance...if they were truly meant to be together, then holding herself back and trying not to love him, well, that wasn’t going to help her.
She watched Jay weaving his way through the crowd and she saw his face with its familiar lines of tension and stress. But then he smiled when their gazes met and she understood that she could give him something that he’d never had before. Jay had admitted to being abandoned by his mother. Would the only way he was going to feel safe enough to stay with Alysse be if he felt that she would never leave him?
Her hands literally started sweating and she felt a wave of fear wash over her as her stomach dropped. She didn’t know if she could take a huge step like this. She was going to have to put Jay in front of her own dreams of family and happiness and what if this didn’t work out? Could she ever trust a man again?
Jay handed her drink to her as Lucien put his and India’s drinks on the table.
“Come on, baby. Let’s dance,” Lucien said, and India slid out of the booth to follow him.
Alysse took a sip of her drink, waiting for Jay to do the same but he was just staring at her.
