“Here,” Robert said as he placed a small platter overflowing with cheese, bread, and cut ham in front of her.
“Thank you,” Elizabeth murmured as she started to attack the food.
“You’re welcome,” Robert said with a chuckle as he helped himself to the food.
For several minutes, they sat there eating in comfortable silence while she kept an eye on the dough. It was actually rather nice, she thought just before Robert had to go ahead and ruin it.
“I think we should talk.”
Chapter 24
“I know,” Elizabeth agreed with a small sigh as she popped another piece of cheese in her mouth, sounding so damn disgruntled by the prospect that he couldn’t help but smile.
For a moment, she stared down at the bowl of dough as she toyed with a piece of bread and he wondered what she was thinking. Perhaps she was preparing herself for another fight, Robert realized with a wince. He was done fighting with her. They’d been doing it since they were children and as much fun as it had been, it was time to put an end to it.
She was his wife and his responsibility, and they couldn’t go on like this. He’d been very fortunate that he hadn’t been raised in a cold family and he wanted their children to be just as fortunate as he had been. Like most couples, his parents weren’t in love, but unlike most couples that he knew, they were very good friends.
It probably hadn’t hurt that his parents were raised knowing that they were betrothed to each other. They were two years apart and had lived less than two hours away from each other as children. They’d accepted the situation without complaint. His mother’s family had wanted a title for their daughter, while his father’s parents wanted to fatten their coffers and ensure that their son had a pleasant wife.
They’d always been friends, sometimes acting more like siblings than a married couple. They’d never shared a room, never looked at each other with anything more than casual affection, and never pretended to be in love. Not that he wanted to know because the knowledge would probably scar him for life, but he doubted very much that his mother had graced his father’s bed since she’d provided him with an heir and a spare so that the line could continue.
She’d also never seemed upset that her husband kept mistresses and lovers. It never seemed to bother her and Robert knew that she was well aware that they existed. Whenever his father left to go spend the night with another woman, she always gave him a knowing smile and wished him a good night.
They’d never fought, yelled at each other or ignored either James or himself as they pursued their own amusements. They raised their children in a warm family, with love and understanding and Robert wanted that for his own family. He certainly didn’t want to raise his children in a cold home like the one that Elizabeth had been raised in.
Lady Norwood was the typical mother and wife of the ton. She said the right things, wore the latest fashion, obeyed all the rules and snubbed her nose at those who didn’t. She also had very little to do with the raising of her daughters. She’d left that to nannies and governesses, only involving herself in her children’s lives when it came to gossip, the prospect of her daughters marrying, or if her daughters embarrassed her in some way.
The only good thing that he could say about Lord Norwood where his daughters were concerned was that the man did genuinely love and care about his girls. He’d seen Lord Norwood worry about them, smile warmly when he saw them and seem genuinely pleased to have them around.
Unlike his parents, the Norwoods were virtual strangers, choosing to spend most of their time apart. Although Lady Norwood hadn’t complained about her husband keeping women on the side, she did demand a shiny bauble the next morning. It hadn’t taken Robert long to figure out their routine. Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday night, Lord Norwood would bid his wife goodnight before he left to spend the night with his mistress. In turn, Lady Norwood would send her husband a cold glare, not because she was truly upset that he was spending his nights with other women like Robert had first suspected, but to remind him that she would expect him to buy her forgiveness in the morning.
It was not the type of marriage that he wanted and certainly not one that he wanted his children to be exposed to every day. While he would like to be able to put the past behind them and start over as friends, he also didn’t want his parents’ marriage. He didn’t simply want a cordial marriage. He desired Elizabeth and wanted to spend every night with her in his arms and in order to get that, they were going to have to talk.
“I’m very sorry that I didn’t tell you about the baby,” Elizabeth said softly, bringing up the one subject that he’d decided to put off until another day.
“Why didn’t you?” Robert asked just as softly, terrified that he’d say or do something to scare her or make her cry.
Too late, he realized as she wiped a tear off her cheek with a small cooking cloth. Pretending that everything was fine, she stood up and focused all of her attention on the bowl of dough. Somehow, he forced himself to remain seated when all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and tell her that he forgave her, that it wasn’t important, but it was.
He wanted to know, needed to know. He wasn’t as angry as he’d been before. Christ almighty, how could he be? She’d just lost their child and he knew that she grieved over that child with all her heart. He’d seen the anguish in her eyes as she’d cried over the loss of their first child.
She’d only been a little over a month and a half into her pregnancy, but he knew that she’d already loved that baby. While most women would have simply accepted the fact that they’d lost a child since it happened so frequently, Elizabeth had taken the loss hard. It told him so much about her, confirming his earlier opinion of her and making him regret ever calling her a bitch even if he only did it in his head. He just couldn’t see the woman that he’d held in his arms over the past two weeks while she’d cried her heart out being a vicious bitch who would purposely subject a child to a life of misery and being labeled a bastard.
He just couldn’t.
“I didn’t want to trap you,” Elizabeth mumbled as she rolled out the dough with an expert touch that impressed him and began cutting out circles.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Robert asked a little more roughly than he’d intended, making her noticeably cringe.
“I didn’t want to force you into marrying me, Robert,” Elizabeth said tightly as she quickly placed the cut dough on a pan, focusing all of her attention on the task at hand so that she wouldn’t have to look at him.
“It wouldn’t have been forced,” Robert explained, getting to his feet and moving to help her when she picked up the pan.
He took the pan from her and carefully placed it in the hot oven, careful not to step too close to the open fireplace beneath the ovens. Once he was sure that it was far enough inside the oven, he turned around and found Elizabeth busying herself with cleaning up the small mess on the table.
Without a word, he stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, bringing her back against his body. “It wouldn’t have been forced,” he repeated more softly this time.
“Yes, it would have,” Elizabeth said, moving to step away from him, but he wasn’t letting her go.
