“Lorn, stop antagonizing your brother,” King Noctis commands before turning to Aeson. “No one is challenging you for your Syphon, son—not yet anyway. But Lorn isn’t wrong. We have traitors in our midst, and like it or not, Ever Tenebrae is our best bet to flush them out. I wouldn’t put her in their path if I could help it—I loved Merik too much to do that to his daughter—but the secrets of the Syphon aren’t going to stay hidden forever. She’s more at risk moving around in the dark than she would be if her existence was brought to light. Yes, it puts the spotlight on her when it comes to our enemies, but it also means she’ll have more of us looking out for her too.”
I study King Noctis for a moment. My gaze traces the touch of age in his features, the white in his hair, the strength in his countenance. I can imagine my father and him laughing over a drink, discussing their concerns about Drameric and how to best solve the problems and serve the people. I can see how Kathal Noctis would have been a good friend to Merik Tenebrae; he’s still a good friend even though my father is long gone.
Aeson drops his head and pulls in a deep breath and then another before slowly nodding. “Have we made any progress on figuring out how to help her reveal?” he asks, a hint of a growl still present in his tone like he hasn’t managed to banish it completely even though he’s trying.
I lean closer to the mirror, making sure I catch every word they’re about to exchange.
“I have some trusted sources looking into it,” King Noctis answers. “They’re going to want to bring her in and run some tests, but we’ll worry about that after her Naming.”
The ice cube in his drink clinks against the glass as he empties it in one last swallow and then sets the tumbler back down on the table.
“Now, I have to be up very early tomorrow, and you two still have another security meeting tonight. You’d best go see to your duties,” the king declares dismissively.
Both Aeson and Lorn stand up to leave, but I’m surprised when King Noctis pulls Aeson in for a hug. They embrace each other tightly, like it’s something they do often. The king whispers something into Aeson’s ear, but I can’t hear what it is before they pull away and the king starts hugging Lorn.
I fight the need to fidget, even though none of the affection is aimed at me. I’m both mesmerized and oddly uncomfortable at the exchange. The warm display doesn’t fit with any of the notions I had about the king and what he would be like, which, I suppose, tracks when it comes to the Noctises. They seem to be full of surprises, but whether that’s a good thing or bad one, I still can’t say.
The office empties, and the lights slowly dim before going out altogether. I stare into the dark Port for a long time, wondering what it would be like to be raised with the kind of love and attention I just witnessed. It’s clear that the king respects his sons. He speaks to them like they’re his equals, but he was also quick to step in when they needed guidance. They all work seamlessly together. A true team, and none of it was for show. They didn’t know they were being watched. They didn’t know every action was being dissected. This is just how they are with each other. It’s humbling, and beautiful, and I want it.
I want what they have.
I want to know a love where it’s safe to trust like that, where it’s okay to just be. One where it doesn’t matter who or what I am, because I’m no longer hunted, no longer coveted, no longer a danger to everyone around me. I want what they have, but what if the only way to get it is to take it from them? What if the only way I’ll ever know peace, is to steal theirs?
Could I do it?
Would it be worth it?
I used to be able to say yes without pause, without question, but now I’m not so sure.
Chapter 34
MY TREAD IS SILENT AS I pace in front of the mirror. I make one pass, then another as I once again think through every step of what I’m about to do. I’ve watched the dark office for the last few hours, and I haven’t seen any evidence of a security system. I also haven’t spotted any cameras. Not that I’m surprised by that; I’m sure the king isn’t interested in a record of the conversations and decisions made in his private space.
I’ve scrubbed myself raw with a floral-smelling soap that was in my shower. I’m pretty sure Tove put it in there as some kind of jab at the strange way I smell, but joke’s on her because it’s about to help me cover my scent trail. I’m saturated in so much flowery perfume I’m surprised I don’t start actually blooming.
Regardless of the helpful scent-cover-up, I still need to get in and out of the king’s office as quickly as possible so all traces of my visit have plenty of time to disappear. It’s working in my favor that the king will be busy with council meetings all morning, and then there’s the Naming tomorrow night. Between that and the cleaning drones that will hopefully tidy up at some point between today and tomorrow, all traces of my break-in should be long gone by the time he sets foot in his office again.
My stare fixes on the shelf of census records through the Syphon Glass. Their closed covers beckon me closer, and a heady rush of anticipation encourages me to close the distance right this second and give in to the siren song. I ignore the sensation and focus. I want the information tucked between the covers of those books, I need it, but there is zero wiggle room to fuck this up.
I blow out a breath and go over the plan again.
I’m being neurotic as fuck right now, I know I am, and yet I can’t seem to snap myself out of it. If Ren were here, she’d be rolling her eyes at me and telling me to get the fuck on with it. But she isn’t here, she’s dead, and that’s on me.
My neck pops as I stretch out. I roll my shoulders and then shake my arms to get the blood flow going and to help calm my nerves. I need to get my shit together. I’m on edge and it has my head and my heart disagreeing on what to do, a surefire way to guarantee everything goes tits up.
My head is telling me I should probably wait. I could watch the office for a while, see what else I can learn, maybe come up with a more secure plan involving suppression suits, scanners, and alternative escape plans. But my heart is thrumming a steady rhythm ofnow or never. It’s telling me I’m banking on time I don’t have and that this is the best shot I’m going to get at the king’s office before I’m wrapped up in all of the political jaw-wagging and showboating that the king and his sons have lined up for me. I need to make a decision before my opposing sides drop the gloves and start taking bare-knuckled swings to see which one wins.
I stop my pacing and square off with the Syphon Glass.
It’s just a quick in and out.
No big deal.
I’ve done it plenty of times before.
I scoff at that thought, because I’ve never broken into the tower of the most powerful being on the planet, but there was that one time I had to steal an egg from a nest of breeding gorgons. This should be a cakewalk compared to that.
I glance over my shoulder at the door I know Gatlin is guarding. He’s already done his checks for the night and shouldn’t come in here unless something draws his attention. The keeps are quiet, and there’s even a blanket of clouds keeping the stars from spying on what I’m about to do.
