“I’m adjusting,” I answer dismissively as we make our way down the stairs. “I never knew what to expect. I barely dared to expect anything,” I admit with a scoff, “certainly not this.” I gesture to the castle all around us, and Eacon’s gaze warms as she gives me a nod of understanding.
The lines around her eyes and mouth crinkle as she smiles, and I wonder what it would be like to be so happy that it’s physically etched in the planes of your face. I don’t know if I’d be capable of feeling that kind of cheer even if life knelt before me and offered it. Perhaps it takes a certain kind of person to find joy and contentment despite the circumstances.
“My madar sold me and all of my siblings off when I was young,” Eacon tells me unexpectedly, stepping off the bottom level of stairs.
The wordmadargives me pause for a moment. It’s familiar, but I can’t place from where, which is odd because I’ve never been anywhere aside from here and the ludere. I must have heard it there. Many blade slaves had different terms for their parents depending on where they were from, so it’s not unusual to hear a different term to describe relationships, but I can’t recall who would have used it. I add it to my list of things I know but have no idea how I know. I doubt they will ever make sense, but it’s become a habit now to track them all the same.
Eacon doesn’t turn toward the kitchen like I expect her to, instead she pivots and strides the other way. I do my best to ignore the delicious smells wafting down the corridor from the opposite direction, as well as the distant sound of the Scorpions talking, and follow Eacon.
“My madar fancied a new male, who had no interest in children that were not his own,” Eacon offers casually. “That’s all it took for her to clear us out like we were spoiled goods. I ended up somewhere not so different from your ludere. That was after I killed my first patron at the brothel that initially purchased me, of course,” she nonchalantly continues, and I keep quiet, unsure how to respond to what she’s sharing or why.
As though Eacon senses my incertitude, she offers me a small smile that doesn’t make it all the way up to her azure-blue eyes.
“I tell you this, not because I think it entitles me to give you any counsel on howyoushould feel in your current circumstances, only that perhaps you might glean something helpful from my experiences. Maybe find some hope.”
“Hope is dangerous,” I retort without missing a beat.
“Ah, yes,” she solemnly agrees. “I used to think so too.”
We turn down the hallway that leads to the training area, and my interest is piqued even further. Is Eacon going to train with me today? The Scorpions say she’s formidable, that they can barely beat her on her worst day. Suddenly, missing breakfast doesn’t seem so bad, not if it means I finally get to see Eacon in action.
“Instead of my drawing the eye of one of the Orders that existed in my time, war broke out and I was conscripted into Queen Galayas’s army.”
“Queen Galayas?” I ask, not recognizing the name.
“Yes, Queen of the Dark realm, before it and the Light realm were split into the courts we have today.”
I’m taken aback by that. I knew Eacon was older, but this dates her beyond what I thought. I’ve never heard of a time before the four courts existed. That could very well be because I’ve been secluded in the desert, or maybe the fae that lived in that time are all but gone, taking that part of history with them.
We bypass the training area, and Eacon guides me into the armory. She waves an arm invitingly at the walls and racks of weapons.
“Pick anything and everything that pleases you,” she orders, and I hesitate for exactly one beat of my heart and then do exactly that.
I don’t know what I’m arming myself for, but experience has taught me not to waste time on questions when I could be adding another blade to my body, one that might be the difference between life and death. Eacon peruses a line of swords, touching each of the blades until she finds one that must speak to her. Plucking it from the display case, she tests the weight and balance of the weapon. Satisfied, she finds the scabbard that fits the sword and begins putting it on.
“Battle was chaos,” she starts again. “I went where commanded, killed who I was ordered to, and played follow the leader until one day it was all over and we were sent on our way, free to do whatever we pleased with our lives. The only problem with that was I didn’t know how to do anything other than fight and kill. So I simply kept on fighting and killing until that’s all that I was, all that existed inside of me. And then one day, I met Yaren.”
“What are you doing?” Tarek demands, his tone accusatory and angry as it bounces off the metal, wood, and stone in the armory.
Tarek’s vexation circles me like angry crows. I stop sliding a dagger into a sheath I’ve tied to my arm and snap my gaze over my shoulder to his. Only he’s not looking at me, his enraged stare is leveled at Eacon. Tarek takes a menacing step toward her but stops when Eacon pulls her sword from the scabbard on her back and levels the steel in front of her.
“Ah ah ah,” she tuts at him, and a flash of shock, rage, and apprehension flickers fast over his face.
Unease froths in my gut as I look from Eacon to Tarek.
“I told youno,” Tarek growls at Eacon, the anger simmering in his gaze making the hairs on my arm stand up. “If you need help,wewill help you. This isn’t the way.”
Eacon shakes her head at his declaration, disappointment and steely resignation pooling in her features.
“You’re wrong, Tarek. You’ll see that when it’s all over.”
“Don’t,” Tarek warns when Eacon moves closer to me.
“Don’t do what?” I demand, confused and alarmed and not sure what’s going on here.
I thought the Scorpions practically worshipped the ground Eacon walked on, but Tarek looks as though he wants to cleave her in two right now.
“This, Little Scorpion,” Eacon declares, and somehow she’s behind me even though I never saw or felt her move.
