“Then, Neith, I guess. It’s technically my name even if no one has ever used it.”
“Fine, Neith, get on with it, I don’t have all night.”
She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair, pulling at the roots a little as though it helps to pull the words from wherever they’re buried.
“I don’t even know where to start. There’s so much to know, but I’ll do the best I can,” Neith offers weakly, and the blood that was trickling from her shoulder tapers before stopping as the moonlight works its magic. “Before the realms were split into half and then eventually the four courts, it was one land. A land ruled by the Nalrora bloodline. It was a line of queens. Only female heirs were ever produced. Eligible male fae married into the matriarchy, and the lands prospered and the people thrived. Then a family of brothers and their mate decided they wanted more than they were entitled to, so they set out to take it, starting with snuffing out the Nalrora line completely, which started the war that broke the land in half. Only they didn’t get every Nalrora like they thought they did. My great-great-great-grandmother survived. She was a baby at the time, but she was smuggled to safety and then raised in hiding. Through her, the line continued.”
Neith pauses, watching me as though she’s making sure I’m following. She nods once when I don’t ask any questions and continues.
“We lost more than just lives when we were forced to run. We lost texts and scrolls and proof of our existence, our history. However, as far back as any Nalrora can recall, the line has been faithfully served and protected by a blessed group of fae known as the Igeeyin. Lore tells a story of a Nalrora ancestor saving the life of an Igeeyin elder, who then swore an oath of loyalty and protection in return. That might just be a story mothers tell their children to help them fall asleep, but the point is, our people have been connected to each other for as far back as our histories show.”
Our people.
The two words swirl in my mind, unable to settle because I don’t know how they fit anywhere inside of me just yet.
“Millennia passed, Galayas was betrayed by her mates, and the realms split from two to four. The purge of my line from the realms as well as the ancient wars faded in the minds of too many fae. It was as though the Nalroras never existed, which was exactly how the old kings wanted it. Some of them never even told their heirs about how they won their crowns, as was the case for my father. The old kings died and all truth of who they really were and what they did was rewritten with a much kinder, deceitful lens.
“That is, until my father saw my mother walking down a road while he was touring his lands. He pursued her, not knowing who she was or the danger he was putting her in by doing so. They fell in love, and when she finally trusted him enough to tell him everything, he convinced her that the hunt for her blood had been long forgotten and she would be safe. She wasn’t.”
Neith looks down at her hands as though she needs something to ground her. She takes a few steps back and sits on the sill at the base of the window. It’s so strange to see her speak and move; it’s like looking in a mirror and yet not.
“They kept her pregnancy a close secret. There had already been two assassination attempts at that point from heirs to the old kings who knew the claim and the threat that the Nalrora line could pose. My parents knew they’d need to take drastic measures to protect us, but the third attempt on her life was successful. I was taken from my mother’s dying body and hidden, which is where you come in,” she tells me with a weary sigh.
Nervous anticipation consumes me, and I fill my lungs with a deep breath in preparation for where this story is going. All I’ve ever had was a wall of nothing, a void of all-consuming darkness where everything that happened before the ludere should be but isn’t. I thought I’d feel more eager when this time came, more relieved when I finally found the answers I’ve been looking for. But the way Neith is staring at me, the remorse and regret bathing her features, fills me with dread. I’m clearlynotlong lost royalty, she is, so what does that leave me?
“To protect me, my father gave me to the remaining Igeeyin to be hidden away. Just like with the Nalroras, there weren’t many of the moon blessed left. They had been killed right alongside the charges they were trying to protect from being hunted. Their numbers were slower to recover, as not every child born to an Igeeyin mother is blessed by the moon,” Neith explains, motioning to her hair and then her eyes.
“Unavoidably, there were fae who knew about my mother’s pregnancy, who knew about me. My father tried to tie up every loose end he could find, but it was impossible to quell every whisper or rumor. So the Igeeyin put safeguards in place.Youare one of those safeguards,” she tells me, her tone grave and her eyes apologetic.
My body and limbs feel heavy all of a sudden. It’s as though the truth is settling over me, but instead of it being light and freeing, it’s weighing me down and pinning me in place whether I like it or not. My heart is racing, and my throat is tight with trepidation. I want to run, but I know there’s no escaping this.
“They tethered us somehow. I was never given specifics, no matter how much I demanded to know, probably because the Igeeyin who did it are dead and no one understands exactly what thura was used to link us. I didn’t even know about any of it until after you’d been taken, and I…”
She trails off and then clears her throat as though she’s swallowing a mouthful of guilt.
Anger and befuddlement wreak havoc on my mind and emotions. I’m struggling to keep everything contained, and we’ve barely scratched the surface on whatever the fuck is going on. I flip one of the daggers in my hand, twirling the hilt and the blade between my fingers. I submit to the urge to move instead of screaming and raging like I want to right now.
Neith’s tone grows sharper with frustration and her silver eyes—my eyes—fill with contrition.
“The Igeeyin knew it was only a matter of time before someone came hunting for me, so they created a decoy.”
She looks at me pointedly, and my stomach drops.
“The link they created between us was designed to protect me. I got your ability to heal from the moon, your features, and your coloring, which helped keep me hidden. Faline, who is the First Crescent and Igeeyin leader, gave you my name. We were moved to different corners of the realm and kept apart from each other. They raised us like we were the same person. We had the same face, used the same name, were given the same comforts and education as was befitting a royal, but there was more to it than that. Our link did other things too.”
Her voice cracks and her gaze drops from mine as though she can’t bear to look me in the eye anymore.
“Youwere a safeguard againstmybeing taken…or killed. More than simply creating a decoy, our link was supposed to help you find me if I ever went missing. If I was taken and hurt…” She pauses, her eyes far away. “If I was hurt, if my life were in jeopardy, I could siphon your life force in order to survive.”
I suck in a sharp breath as though she just kicked me in the chest. Horrific understanding dawns on me, and I stare at her completely stunned and gutted.
“And ifIwas taken? If I was hurt or killed?” I croak, needing her to confirm what I already feel slicing through the last remnants of my hope.
Neith’s eyes well with tears, but she straightens her spine as though calling on some deep reserve of strength. “Ifyouwere taken, your role as a decoy would be fulfilled, andIwould be moved and hidden more securely…”
Silence fills the room as I stare blankly, understanding raking my insides as new slashes are gouged into my soul.
“You would be made safer, and Iwould be sacrificed,” I finish for her, seeing the truth of it in her eyes even though she saves me having to hear it fall from her lips. “You can pull from my life force, but I can’t pull from yours, can I?”
