The quick glance I just stole has me thinking yes, but I don’t check to see if my suspicions are right. Instead, I release Scorpius’s weeping cock, reach for the hammered gold pitcher, fill it, and methodically start to rinse him clean. I fix him with a defiant stare as I once again stand in front of him. I’m done with being batted around like the rodent they think I am. It’s time to escape the cat’s claws and call all of this nonsense a win. I fix my gaze back on Skull as he lounges in his own gold-plated bathtub.
How much food could I buy if just one of these things was melted down?
Skull’s eager gaze tries to drink me in, but I hope he chokes on me.
“You won’t choose me, because I’ll be dead before the actual bidding even starts,” I declare, dropping the pitcher into Scorpius’s water with a loud splat.
The inside of the tent goes quiet, and I immediately question why I just said that. It’s true, but based on their reaction, it could also open up a box of scorpions I don’t really want to deal with. If one of them is my target—and it’s very possible that they are—I shouldn’t say anything that could give them the slightest inkling of what Tilleo has planned. Too bad I just can’t find the will to care right now. Screw Tilleo, and screw these three. I quickly dismiss my doubt and turn to Skull and level him with a cynical stare.
“Would you like me to clean your dick next?” I ask emotionlessly.
His obsidian gaze grows dark. He’s obviously unamused by the hint of disrespect layered in my query. “No, you’re dismissed,Slave. Both of you, leave us,” he commands, and I’m striding toward the tent’s exit before he can rethink the aim of his anger and take it out on me like I deserve.
I push out into the heat of the newly born desert night, feeling like my throat is slowly trying to close in on itself. I press my palms to my neck as I hurry in the direction of the ludere.
What the hell just happened in there?
I stare down at the dusk-soaked sand as though it can tell me why I just behaved the way I did to one of the most revered houses of assassins in existence. Tilleo would cut out my tongue if he knew how I just spoke to the Order of Scorpions. He would torture me beyond comprehension, heal me, and then torture me again endlessly until not even madness could free me from the pain. And yet knowing all of that, I still can’t find an ounce of anything inside of me that cares.
I’ve trained and worked and been brutalized and sold, just to have the purpose for it all torn away by Tilleo and hishigh hopesfor me. It’s all been for nothing. My life means nothing. And I want to make them pay for it, to pay me back for each healed mark on my skin, for each broken bone and scar on my soul. It’s the least they can do after dashing my efforts when I was so close to escaping it all.
“What in the names of the Kings did you just do back there?” Harsh demands with a growl of outrage from behind me.
“Me?” I defend, irritated that he’s even talking to me right now after whathepulled. “Youthrewmeunder the hooves to build yourself up, not the other way around,” I snap at him over my shoulder, my strides lengthening even more to speedily carry me away from him.
Harsh makes the mistake of grabbing my arm to force me to stop so he can unload his indignation on me. In less time than it takes for me to exhale, Harsh is on his back, all the air fleeing his lungs, while I lean over him, the small pen knife that I palmed from Scorpius’s trouser armory pressed against Harsh’s throat. His dreary blue eyes widen with pure shock, and sick satisfaction washes through me for a moment before I scan my surroundings to confirm that no one is watching us.
The sun has already kissed the horizon goodnight, and luck is on my side as the ludere wraps me and Harsh in its cool shadow. The rooftop guards aren’t patrolling this side right now, and far away, house slaves bustle around Tilleo’s manor rushing here and there for who knows what. There’s no one to even glance our way. I bring my face even with Harsh’s, a cruel smile slipping over my plump lips.
“Touch me again without permission and I’ll make sure that we’re pitted against each other in the upcoming tests. I’ll destroy you so wholly that Tilleo will have you bent over in a brothel before the sun even sets. Do you hear me?” I snarl at him, and his eyes narrow at me with rage before it sinks in that I’m not jesting or exaggerating in the slightest.
“I understand,” he croaks breathlessly, and I push against his airway a little harder.
“Keep your mouth shut and your hands to yourself, and you’ll end up with an Order just like you want. Don’t test me, Harsh,” I tell him venomously.
He surrenders, his nod jerky as his face starts to mottle and his lungs scream for air. I push off him, rising fluidly to my feet as he gasps desperate breaths and rubs at his throat.
“What happened to you?” he demands between coughs and wheezing breaths, his voice barely more than gravel.
I leave him there sprawled out in the sand, his question unanswered as I dart through the back entrance to the ludere. Quickly, I climb the narrow ridge of stairs that leads up to the second floor. The arched entryways that line the curved wall to my left are baleful and dark, but the halls and quarters that they lead to are thankfully quiet. The railing on my other side, the one that keeps us from accidentally falling down to the sand pits in the middle of the building, paints patterns on the gritty ground with the help of the moon.
I keep my shadow to myself, and my steps silent, as I make my way down the crescent-shaped corridor. My thoughts race as I search for a safe place to disappear for a while so I can try to get myself together again. Harsh’s question echoes in my mind as I work to piece it all together. What happened to me is that they’ve finally stripped me of everything.
Thisis what happens when there’s nothing more to live for, when there’s nothing left to lose.
Out of nowhere, distant screams fill the air, and I can immediately tell they’re coming from the far-off hot house. Someone has started in on Linae. I turn down the hall that leads to the bathing chambers, the adornment room, and ends in the sleeping chamber for the female blade slaves. I find my parchment-thin bed roll, laid under a thin cutout for a window, and plop down on it as Linae’s screams serve to ground me. I think of what Figg would do to me if she saw me disrespecting the silk draped on me by lying on it, but I wave it away. It’s nice not to care so much, not to have to worry about being a step ahead and having it all figured out. I put my hands behind my head and study the cracks in the flat ceiling above me.
I can do this. I can find an angle that gives me what I need before I die. Maybe freedom isn’t just about where I live or paying off my purchasing price. Maybe it will have to be about finally embracing all that I am without fear or hesitation. I could take all that they’ve taught me, all that Ireallyam, and use it to start chipping away at this place. Even if they kill me before I can do lasting damage, perhaps it could still be enough to help this shit hole crumble someday. I would have to be smart, work under the radar, but what better time to do that than at the Bidding when they all think they have us under their boot?
Yeah.
Thatfeels right.
Now to figure out where to hit them so they don’t feel it until it’s too late.
ChapterSeven
SKULL
