“Fuck,” I concede, closing my eyes and dropping my head back in defeat.
“Lennox Marai Osseous, you watch your language,” Aunt Hillen orders, and with an exasperated growl, I pull my phone away from my ear and make a strangling motion at it.
“Why am I on speaker?” I demand of my cousin, but he ignores the question, instead whisper-shouting, “She has them,” to his mother.
“Well, fuck,” Aunt Hillen exclaims with a shocked gasp, and I immediately choke on an astonished laugh. I hear Tad coughing with his own amusement. I don’t think either of us have ever heard her swear before. If shit wasn’t currently hitting the fan and spraying all over the place, I’d be pressing the record button and trying to get her to say it again.
“I have to call Magda!” she declares excitedly, shock still evident in her tone. “I bet she and Gwen are searching every nook and cranny right now, looking for the pouch.”
Smug satisfaction rings in my aunt’s tone, and I know the rest of the family is going to love that Magda and her prissy little shit of a daughter aren’t going to get their hands on the bones and subsequently the power that comes with them. I suppose that should be some small consolation, but internally, I’m begging the gods to choose anyone else but me.
I catch a hurried, “Congrats, Leni,” before my aunt disappears, off to become the bearer of bad news that she’s always wanted to be to the snooty side of the family.
Tad chuckles at his mother’s hypocrisy, and even I crack a small smile despite the clusterfuck I now find myself square in the middle of.
“I think you just made my mother’s decade, Leni. Shit, I guess I now have to call you Lennox, or would you preferOh Powerful Oneinstead?” Tad teases.
“Supreme Being will do,” I deadpan as I try to fight off a new wave of bewilderment and vexation. “Crap, everyone is going to get all formal with me, aren’t they?”
“Well, being that you were just chosen as the next Supreme Boner, oops, I mean Supreme Osteomancer, I’m going to go with yes.”
Hearing him call me that is beyond weird, and what’s scarier to me is that there’s something inside of me, something I’ve never looked at before and don’t want to acknowledge now, that feels right. I’m the next Bone Witch.
A frustrated groan climbs up my throat, and I drag my palm down my face. “What the hell am I going to do? Can I ask for a revote or something?” I query, not even caring about the whine dripping thickly off of every word like cold molasses. I sigh and ask what everyone else will be thinking when they find out what’s happened. “Why in all the universes would the bones chooseme?”
I slide down the wall next to my entry table until my ass meets the floor; it’s as though I’m being pulled down by the weight of all of this as it settles heavy like sandbags on my shoulders.
“You know how this works, Lennox. We all do. You knew someday Grammy Ruby would pass away and the bones would choose one of us to take her place,” Tad reminds me, his tone tutorial before it dissolves into sympathy.
“Yeah, but weallthought it would be Gwen. Magda’s been going on and on about how she’s been a gazer since she was seven.”
I rest my elbows on my knees and press my head against my forearm, cocooning myself in defeat and mourning all the plans I had for my life.
“All that bitch can gaze is the inheritance that comes with that purple pouch of bones, the rest is smoke and mirrors. Leni, the bones wanted you. They wouldn’t be there if you weren’t the one.” He pauses, and I hear what sounds like a stifled chuckle.
“This isn’t funny,” I argue.
“Well, that’s not exactly true, Mighty Bone Whisperer, but I’m laughing because I went all spirit guide on you, not because you’re the chosen one. I’m like the Hagrid, Obi Wan, Haymitch, and Khloe of your story, andthatishilarious.”
“Khloe?”
“Damn right. She’s the most logical and badass of the Kardashian clan. She’d totally be a spirit guide if given the opportunity,” Tad defends as though any of that makes sense.
“I’m like a hot Yoda! And trust me, Leni, if the bones want you, then you they shall have. There’s no fighting this,” he declares with an adenoidal voice that sounds more Kermit than Yoda.
“Isn’t there?” I plead.
“Remember all the stories about great-great-great-grandpa Lown and how he tried to avoid his duty? It gets you in the end no matter what you do.”
Thoughts of the ancestors who tried to shirk their selections flash through my mind. Lown choked on a rib bone one night in his bed. Weird thing was, he was asleep when it happened. That, and the fact that the man was a vegetarian, amped up the mystery to outsiders. But the family knew that either you honor the bones or they’ll find the next in line who will.
I pick up my head so I can stare at the underside of my dining room table. At where I know a bag filled with blessed bones sits just on the other side. Their presence marks my selection as one of the few remaining Osteomancers in the world. It decimates all the hopes and dreams I had for my future. One purple pouch, and life as I know it is fucking over.
Desolation and worry roost in my chest.What the hell am I going to do?Tad is talking, but I can’t tune into what he is saying. All I can do is slowly get up and reluctantly close the distance between myself and the unwanted bones that are encased in purple velvet on my table. The bag looks so unassuming. So faultless. But I know nothing could be further from the truth. The bony contents will awaken the dormant abilities in my marrow and unlock a world of secrets, the likes of which I can’t even begin to fathom.
It’s not the letter to Hogwarts I spent my middle school years hoping would drop down my chimney though. This bag of bones leads only to a life of servitude, suffering, and societal rejection.
The aroma of patchouli, singed cedar, and sugar cookies fresh out of the oven waft out to me as I reach for the bag. All at once, it’s as if my grandmother is here, lending me her strength and encouragement. Warmth envelops me, and I’m reminded that the presence of these bones means that she’s gone now.
