“To some,” Rafferty answers her. “To the legacy families who anticipate it, train for it, it’s a very big honor. But most demons…”
“They don’t want to be tied down to a thankless duty for their entire lives,” Jerif cuts in. “They don’t want to be sucked dry of power until they’re a husk of themselves, all for the sake of humans who could never understand or appreciate the sacrifice.”
Rafferty nods solemnly. “We don’t get to choose it. The gate chooses the next in the bloodline. Plus, with the Hellgate deteriorating, it keeps requiring more and more power to pull. Because of that, sometimes the chosen Guardians aren’t enough, like with us. That’s why we had to keep hiring Outer Ringers to help us,” he explains, lookin’ at Delta. “But it always drained them fast. Faster than they could survive. And then we were right back where we started, needing more help than we could get. It became harder and harder to get demons to bind themselves to the portal.”
Damn.
Echo nods. “Exactly. So, yeah, it’s a big deal what we do, and there’s a certain esteem that comes with the job, but it’s also an eventual death sentence, and everyone knows it.”
“Yep,” Crux adds, runnin’ a hand through his blond hair. “Lots of demons hate the idea of becoming a Guardian for that reason alone. Demons crave power. The last thing most of us want is to be tied down to a Hellgate that constantly sucks that power from us.”
My eyes move back to Flint. “So you were bitter,” I summarize.
“I was bitter,” he agrees with a nod. “I basically went to meet Alder kicking and screaming.”
“He was a complete bastard,” Alder says with a quirk of his lips.
“Literally,” Flint announces with a hollow chuckle. “And once I realized thehowin my being chosen, my life really blew up beyond recognition.”
I stare at Flint with confusion as he pauses and shakes his head. I reach out and thread my fingers through his, and he brings my knuckles to his lips and kisses them softly.
“My sire didn’t take too well to finding out that I wasn’t his progeny by blood. I lost my dreams for my future and my family in one fell swoop. It was hard.”
My mouth pops open as realization dawns, and it suddenly becomes blatantly clear why Flint never expected to be selected as the next Guardian in his bloodline. He didn’t know he was eveninthat bloodline. That’s a pretty horrible way to find out your daddy ain’t your real daddy.
My heart aches for him and what he must have gone through. Both he and Delta spent their whole lives thinkin’ one thing, and then one moment changed everythin’ for them. It couldn’t have been easy, and I don’t blame either of them at all for strugglin’ to come to terms with things.
The corner of Flint’s mouth ticks up with a smile. “Needless to say, I moped for a few years,” he states on a small laugh.
“A fewyears?”
A teasin’ laugh leaves Alder’s throat. “They say women can hold a grudge, but I haven’t met one yet who could hold a candle to Flint and his frustration.”
Flint snorts. “Yeah, well, I was a prick.”
“Yep,” Alder agrees good-naturedly. “About as soon as I introduced myself, he informed me that he wouldn’t be doing fuck-all to help with the gate and that I was on my own.”
My mouth drops. “You didn’t!”
Flint grimaces. “I did. It was easier to blame the gate for all my problems than to face it and accept my fate.”
Delta chuckles across from us. “Fuck, Flint. You and I would’ve gotten along great, because I basically did the same thing.”
“Yeah, because your ass is stubborn,” Jerif grumbles. She shoots him a look and then reaches over and pinches him on the side. “Ouch!”
Delta looks back at Flint with a sweet smile. “Continue.”
He lifts a shoulder. “Well, that’s how things went for several years. I stayed in the human realm, did whatever the fuck I wanted, only giving the bare minimum of my power and my presence to help Alder sustain the gate.”
I look back at Alder, feelin’ so bad that he had to carry the responsibility entirely on his shoulders. That must’ve been horrible and stressful, to say the least. “How did you manage things all on your own?” I ask him.
“It was a struggle, I won’t lie,” Alder replies. “But I’m a legacy—I was trained for this my whole life, and I’m powerful. I managed okay for the most part. Until…” His words trail off, his eyes meetin’ Flint’s.
My attention shifts to my marble demon. “Until what?”
Guilt washes over Flint’s face clear as day, and his gaze drops to the carpet once more. “I was always leaving the bar to go fuck off in the human realm. I’d leave in stints, only coming back when I couldn’t resist the gate’s pull. But that last time, I was being a complete dick. I stayed away for nearly two whole months. I knew Alder was being drained. I knew the gate needed power. But I was just so fucking bitter, I resisted.” Slate-gray eyes rise up slowly to look at me, anguish buried in their depths. “And then a horde broke through.”
“Oh, shit,” I hear Delta murmur.
