But damn, it’s exhausting being a star. So much attention is making me a little twitchy.
By the time I see Joe’s tall ass walk into the room, I want to jump up and down in relief. I quickly wave to get his attention. The females are still chatting away about how popping orgasms are the newthing, but seriously, there’s only so much I can say on the subject other thanyou’re welcome, so I’m hoping Zen sent Joe here to rescue me.
Joe spots me and makes a noise, and even though I can’t hear it over the clamor, I can see from the rise and fall of his chest that it’s definitely a grunt like,there you are. He waves me over, and I hold up my hand to say one minute and start trying to extract myself.
“Sorry, my friend is here. He needs me, but I’ll get to work on more orders,” I shout over the din, and then I have no choice but to throw some elbows and start hip checking people so I can get the fuck out of here.
Damn, these Pop Rocks panties really caught on fast. And I gotta say, I’m very curious. I’ve always loved how the candy feels in my mouth...I just might have to try them out myself.
I’m breathless and tousled by the time I maneuver my way over to Joe’s side.
“Thanks for the assist there, big guy,” I snark, but Joe just does what he always does. He grunts.
Dipping his head, he heads out of the doorway, and I follow him. I keep checking over my shoulder for the first couple of minutes or so, worried inmates will follow me. When we round several corners and there’s still no one on our tail, I let out a relieved breath. “That was crazy, Joe! I mean, I just used the Pop Rocks so I could get the colors I wanted, but if I had known...I would’ve chargedwaymore,” I say.
We pass a guard standing at a corner, and he nods at us. I give him a wave.
“I wonder if they feel good for guys too? You wanna try some on?” I ask, and then I shake my head. “Hmm, they’ll be way too small. Don’t worry, Joe, I’ll make some that are troll-size and a couple others for some of the guys to test out.”
He grunts again as I follow him down another hallway, around a bend, and then through another empty corridor, and a weird little hallway that seems to be half as wide as the others before widening out again.
“It might take a little while, because I need to meet the female demand first, but don’t worry, I’ll hook you up.”
The lighting in these tunnels looks dimmer, and I realize suddenly that I have no idea where I am. I’ve just been following my giant prison bestie and jabbering away.
“Are we going to meet up with Zen and the others?” I ask, recalling how I didn’t see them earlier.
Joe grunts again, and I relax. “These hallways are very echoey. You grunt, and then I suddenly feel like I’m surrounded by a ton of Joes instead of just one,” I observe, but Joe doesn’t grunt to that.
“Speaking of, I’m excited for Sloppy Joes later—did you see it on the menu? Those things are good. When I was a kid, I always wanted them, but no one in my lounge was allowed to make them for me. I had to get incarcerated to finally be able to try one, butfuck, I’ve been missing out! Like, I don’t even know what they put in that sauce, but I’m telling you, if I could bathe in it, I would.”
A scoffing sort of grunt echoes all around me, and I laugh. “Don’t judge me Joe, I’ve noticed the way you put down the beef stroganoff in this place. I bet if there was a pool of beef stroganoff, your big ass would be in there swimming around too,” I tease.
The long hallway that we’re in winds around to the right, and I suddenly feel like we’re walking uphill, or maybe I’m just out of shape and that’s why I’m suddenly winded.
“Damn, where are Zen and the crew hiding?” I ask, a little breathless and completely lost. “I know Nightmare Penitentiary is big and has a shit ton of different levels and buildings, but I feel like we’re walking a long way. Is there some secret room back here where all the cool kids hang out in or something?” I ask. “Or,ooh,are they throwing me a secret surprise party in honor of my Pop Rocks panties?”
This time, Joe snorts, and I find myself suddenly squealing. “That’s it, isn’t it? Holy shit, I just got so excited, Joe! Is there cake? Oh, please tell me there’s going to be cake!” I start clapping, and there’s a distinct spring in my step.
“Will you shut the fuck up? You’re going to give us away if you keep doing that.” A male voice snips, and I freeze and look all around me for the source.
What the hell?
I do a complete circle of the still empty, unfamiliar hallway, before my eyes land back on Joe. I move closer to him. “Did you hear that, Joe?” I whisper as I stare at the shadows all around us, suddenly feeling very uneasy.
“I not only heard it, I fucking said it,” Joe announces as he looks down at me, his gaze filled with irritation.
My eyes nearly pop out of my head as I stare up at him, completely dumbfounded. My brain can’t process what it means for Joe’s lips to be moving and forming words. He’s never spoken. Not once. Not to anyone.
“I thought you couldn’t talk!” I say, totally flabbergasted.
“Well, you obviously thought wrong,” he replies, his voice much higher pitched than I would’ve imagined.
I frown at him as he starts walking again. “But...youneverspeak. All the times I’ve talked to you…” My mind drifts off to all our little chats, and my cheeks immediately turn cherry red. “Goddammit, Joe! I told you super embarrassing things!”
He gives me a pointed look, his granite-speckled face looking darker in this shadowed part of the prison. It somewhat resembles the dim corridors that lead to solitary, except I can tell this part of the prison is older. Much older.
“Yeah. I really wished you wouldn’t have told me about the time in high school when you got your period and it bled through your pants on Shine Bright Like a Diamond Day when everyone was wearing white pants.”
