I keep reading.
When the call has been answered, both gryphons will hurt or burn while the bond completely forms. Afterward, they’ll feel tired or weak for about a day following. The book says that once the gryphons mate in their form, it strengthens everything, and according to this, the only way to sever a complete connection is through death.
I turn through the several pages of information and warnings. Apparently, once a bond has been formed, the gryphons’ essence or life force is linked. Meaning, if someone kills one side of the bond, the other side would probably go too. There are cases mentioned where a mate happened to die when the bond wasnotcomplete, yet it didn’t affect both sides. But there are lots of warnings about that too.
I flip through every page there is, but there isn’t anything listed about what to do if you’re bonded to lying assholes or to another gryphon that hates you. I do find a chapter on multiple mate bonds though. It’s extremely rare but apparently not impossible or unheard of. I thought somehow I would feel better after reading that part, but I don’t.
There’s a section about smell and mate bonds that leaves me very confused. It states my smell is supposed to change when I’m mated. That the change in smell is supposed to announce to the other members of the Pride that I’m taken. It makes sense that Ryn wouldn’t care about that, but I can’t figure out why Treno didn’t.
Maybe I don’t smell? I lift my arm up and sniff under my armpit. Nothing offensive or obvious fills my nose. I make a note to ask Treno about it later. I’m going to fit it in right after I tell him I’m mated to the leader of the Hidden and the Commander who also happens to be a Hidden spy. Maybe the smell question will throw him off just enough that he’ll forget he wants to kill me.
I huff out a tired sigh.Falon, you are a fucking idiot.
I’ve been so focused on trying to get home or figure out how to fly and just be a gryphon in general that I ignored obvious signs. Yeah, they do the mate thing very differently from what I’ve grown up understanding about shifters, but I felt when things were off or didn’t make sense. I still dismissed them, and now I’m sorry I did. I spent exactly ten minutes earlier wondering if the gate would somehow sever the mate bonds. If I left, could I survive the pain and longing that apparently occurs? But I keep coming back to how I’m here, why I’m here.
I think it’s time I stop dismissing this world as some unimportant flicker and start accepting that this is now my life. A warm confirmation blooms in my chest, and I take a deep breath and embrace it. The warm bloom suddenly feels like a hot coal that’s pouring lava through my veins. I get half a yelp out before my jaw locks up and I’m all at once certain of what it feels like to go supernova.
There’s a weird explosion of pain that moves through the searing in my body. It settles inside my upper arms, on my chest, down my back, and at the back of my calves. I grit my teeth and try to ride it out, but something about it tugs at my mind. I know this.
I’ve felt it before.
That thought cracks something open inside of me, and I shove back in time in my mind.
It’s like I’m walking through a living movie, and I can see myself when I was four, maybe, lying in my bed and writhing. I cover my mouth with a shocked hand and watch as black symbols rise up on my skin like they’re simply floating to the surface.
Armbands of little symbols ring my forearms in three places. Another four more bands of bigger symbols circle my upper arms. Little me tears at her pajamas, and I can see black marks appearing on the right side of my back like someone is writing a book in an unknown language, and it’s all appearing from my shoulder blade down.
My parents run in, and my little body is blocked. My dad is staring at the symbols on my arm with a stunned look on his face. My mom is screaming at him, but I can’t make out the details of what they’re saying. It’s like I’m underwater and wearing ear plugs. My mom wipes hair from my forehead and kisses me. She climbs on the bed and pulls me into her lap. She yells something at my dad, and then I think she starts singing my favorite song. My gran appears at the door. She rushes in and smooths back more sweaty strands of hair that are sticking to my face. She leans into me and tells me things as my mom rocks me in her lap. I watch as little me settles slightly in their arms.
My mom is crying, and my dad is pointing at her and me like he’s giving instructions of some sort. My mom suddenly holds me tighter, but not in a soothing way; she’s holding me down...she’s trying to hold me still. My dad systematically places his hands over the marks that have appeared on my body, and he looks like he’s chanting something. I gasp when I see that one by one the marks are disappearing.
Little me is screaming. My gran is trying to calm me as my mom holds me tightly, and my dad magically rips the marks from my body.
I pant as I come to back in the tree room. I don’t feel like I passed out, just time traveled through hell. I’m crying. I stare down at my arms. I should have marks there, but I don’t. What were they? How did he take them away?
Puzzle pieces fit together in my mind. The Avowed mark pops up in my head, and then the marks on Treno that I stupidly thought were tattoos. The doors that led into the dead Ouphe city of Vedan had similar symbols all over them. They glowed green when the ghost Ouphe Nadi touched them and told them to open.
I didn’t see any markings on Zeph or Ryn, not that I’ve explored every inch of them, but I suspect this is an Ouphe thing. I wonder if everyone who is Ouphe tainted or blessed carries marks of some sort.
I shakily move off the bed and make my way to the bathroom. I strip out of my clothes, and sure enough I have symbols in all the exact places that Treno does. I guess this might just qualify as the “there’s so much more you need to know.” I make a mental note to never interrupt Treno again. It seems he has important shit to tell me, and I keep cutting him off so he can’t.
I feel weak and achy and way fucking worse than I felt after sealing the mate bond with Zeph and Ryn. I draw a bath and clean the residue of sweat and pain from my skin. My new markings aren’t sore and don’t burn when I expose them to the hot water. They’re just...there. For a moment, I’m tempted to check on Pigeon and make sure she’s okay after the hurt fest we just went through, but I stop myself. I’m not ready to open up that channel again. If I’m being honest, I don’t know if I ever will be, and that kills me.
Pigeon is a part of who I am. She was trapped my whole life, and now she’s free. I should be celebrating that and strengthening the bond between us like we have been trying to do. But how do I get past the betrayal and the secrets? How do I get past the fact that she didn’t tell me? It’s like we’re two halves working against each other, and I don’t know how that can ever work.
Someone pounds on my barricaded door, and I jerk up, startled by the aggression of it. It’s either Ryn or Treno, and as much as I’d love to pull a dick move and activate my ghosting skills, we need to talk. Operation Be Mature and Stop Avoiding Shit is now in full effect. I climb out of the tub and quickly dry off as whoever is banging on the other side of the doors shows off their impatience.
“I’m coming! Chill!” I shout out, but I doubt they can hear me over the temper tantrum that’s clearly occurring on the other side.
I grab the dress that looks like it’ll be the easiest to get into and pull it over my head. Flowing aubergine-colored fabric drops to the floor from my waist, and I tuck my boobs into the deep V of the top. I rush into the main part of the bedroom and find that the impatient knocking has turned into someone trying to shoulder the doors open.
What the hell?
I’m taken aback by someone’s effort to get in here, and for a split second, I instinctively reach out to Pigeon. As soon as her consciousness connects with mine, I recoil. I quickly realize what I’ve done and slam my walls back into place. The doors to my room begin to splinter, and inch by inch my barricade starts to move and make way for whoever is punishing the doors.
I’m not sure if I should help move shit or just wait for them to muscle their way in. So I just stand there like a statue until I can make out who it is. Another minute of animalistic rage at the door goes on, and then a face as clear as day appears through the broken entrance to my room.
I have no idea who it is.
