We move as a group away from the party, and I intertwine my fingers with his. “I don’t know,” I admit. “I’m irritated. I’m tired. And I’m not sure what to do about all of this,” I tell him, gesturing to the ballroom full of Sentinels at our back.
“It’s been a long day. Let’s leave it for tomorrow to sort out,” he says. I nod and give him a quick peck as we head in the direction of the stairs.
“Vinna,” Marn shouts behind me, her footsteps quickly approaching us from behind, and Tok and Marn cut us off. They’re both flustered and sputtering.
“Where are you going?” Marn finally manages to string together.
“To our rooms,” I state simply and move to go around them.
Tok steps in my way. “Ory is the Commander of Arms and a member of the First House. It’s rude to just walk away from him,” he scolds me.
I cringe.Does that make us related somehow?I shake off the thought and focus on Tok and Marn. I don’t think they’re bad people, but I’m also not cool with what’s going down.
“I suppose it’s rude, but honestly, I don’t care and neither does Ory. Setting me up to potentiallylight upfor other people I don’t know is considered rude in some circles of the world too,” I point out, making it clear I’m onto them.
Tok stutters for something to say. “Gri—Vinna, we—”
“Save it,” I declare, cutting him off. “I’m sure you are used to doing things a certain way, and I have a lot to learn about you and this place, but I have Chosen, and I have a mind of my own. I’m not going to just pick up where you left off with Grier’s life,” I tell them, my voice kind but firm.
“How can you say that?” Marn demands, stepping toward me. “You were born for this. To be here. To lead them!”
“No, I wasn’t,” I tell her simply.
“You’re just going to walk away from your birthright? Let your people continue to be led by corruption and fear?”
“This wasn’t my birthright, it was Grier’s. You need to see that. I know you miss her, and this feels like a second chance to recover all that you’ve lost, but it’s not. I’m Vinna. This is your first chance withme.”
Tok and Marn pause, their eyes filling with grief. My own eyes well up in response, my soul called to hurt simply because they are. I take a breath and rub at my chest. I look up the stairs in the direction of the wing we’re supposed to be staying in, and I feel lost. It doesn’t feel like home, like where I’m supposed to be.
“I can’t stay here,” I admit quietly.
I’ve been trying so hard to go with the flow and be what they needed, but this isn’t going to work unless I can be who I am and they can accept me for that.
“But we’re your family, this is where you should be,” Marn argues, swiping tears from her cheeks.
“We don’t even know each other,” I point out.
“That will take time though, Vinna,” Tok tells me.
“You’re right, but it will also take effort too,” I tell them. I gesture to my Chosen. “Can you tell me their names?”
Tok stares at me, confused for a second, and then looks around me to where my guys all stand. They all give a friendly wave, which makes me smile. The smile fades as I watch Tok struggle to answer me.
“So here’s the thing. It’s been a couple of crazy days, and I think we need to start over. I’ll get to know you, and you’ll get to know me. We can just take it one day at a time and see where it leads us,” I tell them with a sympathetic smile, and then I let it fade from my face so I can hammer my next point home.
“With that said, I’m going to say this next part once, and if you want to haveanykind of relationship with me, you will etch every word into your soul,” I state, locking eyes with Marn and Tok in turn.
“These aremyChosen. I am theirs and they are mine. Nothing will push me further away than disrespecting or disregarding the people that I love, and I love these males more thananythingin existence. If you ever try to set me up in any kind of way that disrespects my bond with these males, you and I will be through. That’s a deal breaker for me. Do you understand?”
The room grows quiet for a minute, and I wait to see if they get it, because if they don’t, there’s no hope from here on out that we’ll ever be anything to each other.
“We’re sorry,” Marn offers me after a couple beats, and she sounds so broken that it kills me. I pull away from Ryker and step to give her a hug.
“I know this is hard. How are any of us supposed to know how to navigate this shit?” I tell her, and she gives me a watery laugh. I look at Tok over Marn’s head. “We’ll fuck it up, and that’s fine. As long as it’s not a deal breaker, we’ll figure out how to make it better. It’s going to take all of us being honest and really trying.”
“Wise words,” Tok tells me warmly, and he swipes at a tear that sneaks down his face.
“I’ll check in with you guys tomorrow, and then we can start operationfigure all this shit out together.”
