“Obviously,” I agree with an amused smile.
I wasn’t sure about Sorik before, but in the past week, I’ve gotten the chance to know him better. He’s kind and funny, and he has this way about him that I find soothing. If I’d grown up the way some of the guys have, Sorik would be a father to me. At first I didn’t know how I felt about that, but the more I interact with him and observe him, the more I see how incredible it would have been to have him growing up. We both fall into a comfortable silence as I take in the quiet third party to our banter, Vaughn.
He sits statue-still in the chair, just waiting to be instructed. He’s frozen, in some state of limbo, action and inaction radiating from every cell. I’ve gotten past my hope that at some point he’ll just turn to me, make eye contact and see the world again...see me. I’m familiar with this version of him now. It’s simultaneously a strange comfort and a fucked up thing that all of this now feels normal.
I don’t bother asking if anything has changed; it’s clear that it hasn’t, or we wouldn’t be sitting here.
“The sisters just finished packing, and Torrez is meeting with Brun to get whatever she needs squared away before we leave,” I tell Sorik in an effort to chase my sudden sadness away. I try—and fail—at not sounding like a petulant child.
Fucking Brun.
Sorik gives me a knowing smile, and then his eyes move from me to my dad, his amusement evaporating.
“Have you decided what you think we should do with your father?” Sorik asks me, like somehow I’m the deciding factor in all of this.
I appreciate his efforts to include me and to help me feel like I have a say, but Sorik knows Vaughn better than I do. He should really just consult himself.
“I already told you, I don’t think I’m the best person to make decisions for him…”
“Who better to make decisions than his child?” Sorik once again lovingly argues.
I release a frustrated huff and run my fingers through my hair. “Sorik, stop doing that...please,” I beg. “It just makes me feel like shit. I know he’s my dad, but I don’t know him. I don’t know how to feel about any of this. One minute I’m happy he’s even here, and the next I feel like I’m in fucking mourning. The only person in this room who knew him well enough to decide what he’d want, is you, and you know it. Stop putting the weight of his future on my shoulders, it’s too much.”
Sorik’s gaze fills with understanding and sympathy, but it’s also wrapped up in resolve.
“You will get to know him, Vinna—”
“You don’t know that,” I sigh. “He might never wake up; this could be all there is for him...for me...despite your hope otherwise.”
“Even if this is all there is, I will help you get to know him,” he counters, and I push out of my seat and start to pace, my troubles nipping at my heels relentlessly with each step. We’re quiet for a long time as I try to work things out, and Sorik silently lends his support as I move restlessly around the room.
“It doesn’t feel right to leave him with Aydin and Evrin,” I finally admit after I’ve circulated around the space several times. “I know the sisters said they’d take care of him, but I just don’t like the idea of him…” I trail off, not sure what I’m trying to say.
“Being so far away?” Sorik provides.
I shrug.
“I just don’t know how he’s going to come with us or what we’ll even be walking into,” I confess.
“But we’d be there to watch his back, to make sure he was okay,” Sorik supplies.
“We would,” I agree. “But if things go bad?”
“Vinna, you’re a Sentinel requesting access to a city of Sentinels. What exactly do you think is going to go wrong?”
I give Sorik my bestcome the fuck onlook and make another rotation around the room. “I honestly have no idea. The Sentinels have stayed in hiding all this time for a reason. Who’s to say how they’ll feel about me knocking on the door and askingwhat’s for dinner.”
Sorik gives an amused snort and rubs a hand over his face. He’s been like a rock of positivity and support over the past week, but I don’t miss the exhaustion and worry in that simple gesture.
“I’m sure it will be fine,” I offer dismissively, beating Sorik to the positive comment I can sense sitting on the tip of his tongue.
He smiles, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes.
“Then it’s settled,” Sorik agrees, thankfully changing the subject. “Vaughn stays with us.” His eyes fill with pride, but I turn away from it, not wanting it to find purchase in me.
If he only knew how fucking conflicted I am about all of this, he’d probably think I’m the shittiest daughter ever.
“So, walk me through the plan again,” I ask so I don’t have to look too hard at my feelings of inadequacy or at just how overwhelmed I am by all of this.
