“Kings and Queens” by Thirty Seconds to Mars blares in my ears as I finish another round of the obstacle course and immediately drop to do one hundred push-ups. Thankfully, I had my phone on me when our little welcome party attacked us. I do the thing Enoch taught me on our hike here and send a zap of Elemental magic into my phone to keep the music going.
They don’t have a traditional gym here, but they do have a training facility just outside the castle. The place cleared out when I showed up. There were a couple Sentinel stragglers here and there who wanted to see what I was about, but they’re long gone.
I’ve been at this for hours.
Ryker went back to the castle with Tawv to check on Sorik. And Bastien, Valen, Knox and Siah are all endeavoring to give me as much space as they can. They’re guarding the doors, but they’re out of sight, and I’m doing all I can to put them out of mind for a while.
My heart beats steadily in my chest, the thump off beat from the drums of the song. It’s like it’s telling me there’s no running from it or what happened. Internally, I put my middle fingers up at it and run anyway, hoping if I can just be fast enough, all these emotions won’t catch up and drown me.
I finish my push-ups and run to the padded poles that seem designed to take hits. It doesn’t move or sound like a punching bag, but the feel is close enough. I whale on one of them, one hit flowing seamlessly into another as I try to go numb and not picture everything that’s wrong in my world. Talon, Lachlan, Keegan, my dad, my mom, Laiken… There’s just so much loss, and I don’t know how to cope with any of it.
I don’t fit with the humans. I don’t fit with the casters. And now I don’t fit with the fucking Sentinels either. There are too many secrets, too many unknowns, too many wrongs and injustices, and I just want to know why.
I’m not normally that needy bitch who needs to point out how unfair it all is and figure out my place in it. Bad shit happens all the time, and life canalwaysbe worse. But for some reason, the mysteriouswhyof it all is hammering at me. No matter how hard I push myself, I can’t escape what broke open when Getta broke what I thought I knew about myself.
A booming crack fills the training facility, but I ignore it and continue to pummel the pads. One more hit. Two more hits. Three. Four. Five. Six. Wood splinters under the pad, and dagger-like slivers fly out from the now broken wood of the beam. I turn and shield my face, but I feel a few of them pierce the skin of my arm and back.
When the wood chips and dust settle, I huff out an annoyed breath and turn to survey the damage. The thick pad covered pole is split in half, the top part angled down like it’s bowing to the ground. There are at least a dozen more poles like this one lined up, and just over an hour later, I look back down the line at each and every shattered one of them. I swipe sweat from my face and hope they’ll take a credit card for the damages.
I don’t feel better.
I jog back to the beginning of the obstacle course, gearing up to run it again, when Siah steps in front of me.
“You’ve been going at this for five hours,” he states simply. He looks over to the destroyed combat poles and raises an eyebrow at me. “And you’re bleeding...” Siah’s nostrils flare slightly. “A lot,” he finishes.
I’m surprised the others let him in here. They’re usually good about giving me space when I need it. So either they’re worried too, or he snuck past them. I shrug and move to step around Siah, but he just blocks my path again. A frustrated growl starts in my throat, and I look at him and silently scream for him to move. His bright blue eyes study me. Desperation and overwhelming sadness are all I feel slamming through me right now. They must be pouring out of me like I’m a sieve, because his eyes soften and he steps into me.
“What can I do?” he asks softly, his knowing gaze reading me like I’m his favorite book.
I don’t know how to respond to his question. I take stock of how I’m feeling, frustrated that I’m not able to run my problems down like I usually can. This is not working the way I need it to. My eyes flit back and forth between his, and I hold in the vulnerability that wants to spew out of my mouth.
Siah lifts his hand and places it softly on the front of my neck. Something about his touch, the possessive yet supportive way he’s gripping me, shatters the walls I’m desperately trying to mortar together.
“Just get me out of my head. I can’t fucking escape it,” I finally plea. Every cell in my body is begging for relief from the disappointment, pain, rejection, and loss pumping through my veins.
Siah dips down until we’re at eye level, and he just watches me for a beat and then nods. I want his mouth to crash down to mine, for his touch and kisses to become as frenzied as I feel inside, but he just turns me slowly and pulls me back against him.
Confusion bubbles up inside of me, and then I hiss in pain as Siah pulls a five inch long sliver from my back. He drops the fragmented wood piece to the ground unceremoniously and bends over and licks the wound. A shiver of pleasure rakes up my spine, and goose bumps crawl down my arms and legs.
I bite back the hiss as Siah pulls another sliver and another from my body, and I ride the moan when his tongue and lips brand my back. He takes his time inflicting pain and then pleasure as he clears my skin of debris. His fangs scrape against the top of my shoulder, and I can feel his erection pressing at my ass as he brings his hand around to my front and grips my neck once more.
His mouth moves up to my ear, and he just stands there breathing against the shell of my ear as he nuzzles me and pulls me back against him.
“There, that’s better,” he finally whispers in my ear, his voice dripping with want and need. His other hand dips to the ties of my pants and slowly begins to unlace them.
My deep aroused breaths morph into short pants as delicious anticipation battles my pain-laced desperation.
“Shhhh,” Siah whispers in my ear when I give an impatient huff. “I’ve got you, mate,” he reassures me, and when he finally has my pants unlaced and loose, he shoves his hand inside and strokes my folds.
I whimper and move to grind against his palm, but Siah tightens his hold on my throat. He nuzzles my hair, his lips skimming the side of my neck and my ear. The feel of him is driving me fucking crazy. I need more, more to drown it all out. Can’t he see that? Feel it radiating out of my every pore?
He spreads my lips and puts two fingers deep inside of me as he shushes me again. I gasp and lean back against him, tilting my hips forward so he has even deeper access. He circles inside of me slowly, the base of his palm firm against my clit as he does. Wetness pools at my core, and he spreads it around as he teases me and works me until my desperation for emotional oblivion morphs into desperation for him.
I relax against him, relinquishing any desire for control, and Siah nips at my ear and starts to move his fingers in and out of me at a gradually faster rhythm.
“There you go,” he huskily encourages in my ear when I melt against him. “Let your mate help make it better. I’ve got you,” he tells me as his other hand moves from my throat and dips into the top of my sports bra. He squeezes my breast and pulls his other fingers out of me to rub slow circles around my clit. “Your mates are here for you, standing guard, protecting you. Listen closely and you can hear their hearts, each beat in sync with yours at all times.”
Siah pinches my nipple and then slips his fingers back inside of me. “We hurt when you hurt, laugh when you laugh, back off when you need it, and challenge and guide when you feel alone and lost. We will always find you, always bring you back. And we all know you’ll do the exact same thing for each and every one of us.”
