“You’re my mate, and I’m not going to hurt you,” he declares more urgently as I move toward him.
“You’re not going to hurt me?” I ask sweetly. “I think we’re way past that, Knox, you’ve been gutting me since Enoch and his coven showed up at our door with runes.”
Shock flashes through Knox’s gray eyes, and he searches my face like he doesn’t quite understand what I mean. I stomp down the flood of pain that surges through me as I think back to all the accusations and mistrust that Knox has flung my way since then, and let my fists purge the hurt. I strike out at Knox, and he steps back, alarmed, and blocks it. My hit is halfhearted, not because I don’t want to beat the shit out of him, but because I won’t really go for him until I know he’s going to fight back.
I swing at him again and let him dodge it.
“What the hell, Killer?” he asks as he continues to weave away from the easy pace I’m setting.
“From the minute they showed up at the door, you’ve made it clear that it was either you or them. You know I can’t draw the line like that, and yet you keep pushing for it,” I growl at him.
I execute a low spin and kick his legs out from underneath him. Knox goes down and then immediately kips back up angry.
“We are your Chosen. We are enough. All they do is create problems and fuck with the good thatwe’vegot going on,” he growls back at me.
“No, that’s allyou’vebeen doing, Knox.” I punctuate my statement with an open-handed hit to his chest. Knox steps back a few feet and glares at me.
“Becket helped save my life. I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t been with me during my time in Adriel’s dungeons. He was there for me, pushed me, trained with me despite what I did to his father.”
I stop holding back as much, and Knox and I become a flurry of swings and blocks.
“His father betrayed his people and deserved what he got,” Knox counters, and I increase the tempo of my attack even more.
“Doesn’t make Becket’s loss any less painful. Doesn’t remove the scars that will be left because of what I did.” I move to roundhouse Knox, and he barely dodges it. “Kallan trains me in a way that I understand. I’ve come so far in such a short amount of time because of him and his coven’s help with my magic.”
Knox grunts irritably and jumps back to avoid a low jab I throw at him.
“Nash irritates the fuck out of me, but he forces me to see things in a different way. He forces me to think and strategize and puzzle things out because of the weird shit he does and says.”
Knox catches my fist and pulls, trying to throw me off balance. I spin in toward him like a tornado, elbow ready to clock him. He leans back like he’s an award winning limbo competitor, and I’m not able to connect. I’m not sure if Knox will actually press back the more I attack him, but from the way he’s so expertly dodging my hits, I know it would be a good fight. He’s lithe and quick. His instincts are spot on, and he can read his opponent well.
“Enoch wants to protect me. He wants to keep me safe, and he’s not afraid to teach me and train with me to make that happen.”
Knox growls. “Enoch wants to use you, that’s who he is. He wants what you have because of what it can do for him!” he snaps at me.
“So did you!” I yell back, stopping my attack and stepping into his face. “The night I marked all of you, what did you say to me?Thanks for the upgrade. You pointed out more than once that you and your coven would be better off with my marks, that it would make you the best paladin out there.”
“That isnotthe same thing, and you know it!” he shouts back.
“How is it any different? You think you’re the only one that can see the advantages of what I can do and can also still care about me? They are my friends, Knox!”
“And I am your mate!” he counters.
“Exactly! You are my mate. You are my Chosen. I fucking love you, but you still don’t trust me.” My voice breaks as the accusation flies out of my mouth, and I slam a fist to my chest to help knock my heart back together.
Knox reels back like I’ve punched him. “I do trust you.”
“No, you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t dismiss what I say so easily,” I tell him, parroting something he once said to me. “I tell you that I trust them, that my magic chose them for a reason, and I stand by that. But you decide that you know better. That your past impressions are more worthy of your trust than I am.”
Knox glares at me but doesn’t say anything. I still feel the need to fight in the twitch of my muscles, but we just stand there, staring at each other.
“You once said to me that nothing hurt worse than when I doubted you, doubted my place with you. Knox, do you not see that you’ve been doing the same thing to me?” I pull my eyes from Knox and turn to the others. “I know you all have history, but youhaveto get the fuck over it. You are my Chosen, and they are my Shields. We are all connected. So stop trying to rip me in half or prove that my magic is wrong for marking them. Just fucking trust me...please,” I beg, frustration and defeat welling up inside of me and forcing the wordpleaseto come out on a whisper.
I turn back to Knox, but he’s staring at the ground, wrestling with his thoughts. I go quiet, giving him time to process. The cold air nips at my exposed skin, but I don’t dare move. This moment feels too fragile, like the slightest movement or noise could break it beyond repair. Knox releases a deep sigh and looks up at me. He doesn’t say anything, just studies my face for a couple of minutes before his gray eyes settle back on mine.
We both just stare at each other, silently communicating our hurt, doubt, insecurity. His stormy gaze morphs into sorrow, and tears well up in my eyes.
“Are you in or out?” I ask him on a whisper.
