“Fuck, Valen, I don’t even know,” I tell him on a deep sigh. “I feel like if I stop, I’ll have to look at all the crazy shit that is my life right now.”
“Crazy bad or crazy good?” he asks, his green and brown eyes drinking me in.
“Both,” I say, but it sounds more like a question than a statement.
Valen waits patiently for me to collect my thoughts. He doesn’t press or try to coax more out of me, but gives me the time and quiet support to put it together on my own. He stands there, lending me his silent strength, happy for me to soak up as much as I need for as long as I need.
“In less than three months, I’ve learned that I’m not human, and then I learned that I’m not even a caster; I’m some other magical being that no one knew existed anymore. The only living family that I have hates my guts, and I have no idea why. Talon, the one person who did care about me, turned out to be a lamia, but he only clued me into that fact as he was dying in my arms.
“I’ve been abducted twice now, forced you and your coven into a relationship with me, marked a wolf shifter, and now three other casters have some runes that match mine and some mystery ones. We’re here in a country I’ve never been, to rescue an uncle who wishes I didn’t exist, and to deal with the lamia who killed your parents and mine. And…” I hesitate for a moment, a little shocked by the words that sit on my tongue. I debate for a second how smart it is to release them, but I stare at Valen’s beautiful face and the understanding look he’s giving me, and I decide what the hell.
“I’m fucking scared.” As the words tumble out of my mouth uncensored, I can feel the stress and tension I’ve been carrying slowly lifting. I look into Valen’s patient hazel gaze, as the wordsI’m scaredspill out, and it’s right then and there that I realize how much those two words encompass everything that I’m feeling. Because regardless of whether I’m being attacked by a grizzly shifter or looking into Sabin’s dark green eyes when he tells me he loves me, I’m fucking terrified.
I’m terrified of getting too close and too dependent on them. What if Enoch and the others turn out to be Chosen, what will Knox and Bastien do? Will they leave? How will Valen stay if his brother goes? We’re quite possibly about to face off with Adriel and his entire nest. What if we don’t survive, or worse, what if they don’t, but I do? Nothing in my life has ever been stable, and if there’s one thing I know for certain, no one ever stays. Not even when they want to.
8
“Is it normal to bemorefreaked out by the good things in life than I am by the bad things?” I ask Valen, my voice small and unsure.
He pulls me even closer, my chest against his, and his eyes skate around my face, looking for something. “I don’t know about normal, but it makes sense given the circumstances. When Talon found you and put you up in a safe place to stay, how long did it take before you trusted that situation? Before you started to trust him?”
I mull over his question and push a wayward curl off his cheek. “A couple years, maybe more,” I confess, and Valen nods like he expected that this would be my answer.
“And when Laiken would bring you food or help you after Beth hurt you, how long did it take before you stopped being afraid of the help?” he asks me, his voice low and soft, his tender tone sinking right inside of me and messing with my soul.
“I never stopped being scared that Beth would find out. I was always scared for Laiken. Always scared for me.”
“You’ve known us for less than three months,” he tells me and pauses while that sinks in. “Yes, we are tied together. No, we will never walk away,” he adds, answering my unvoiced fear. “If it takes you forever to learn how to trust us, then it takes forever. If you never stop being scared, that’s okay, because there’s six of us now, and each of us will carry the weight of that fear. We’ll build the walls of trust for however long we need to.” He looks down at me, his eyes swirling with strength and assurance. “You are ours, and we are yours, and that’s what it means to be bonded.”
I pull Valen’s lips down to mine. I don’t know a better way to respond to his beautiful words other than to show him what they mean to me. I’m not eloquent when I speak, I like the wordfuckentirely too much to ever be. But as Valen’s full lips meet mine, I realize I can be poetic in the way my tongue dances with his. Reverent when I pull his clothes from his incredible body. Tender as I moan into his mouth. I can love him through my actions and touch in a way I can never seem to get out with words.
Valen sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and pulls up the hem of my shirt. We break away as he pulls it over my head, and then his lips are back on mine. His hands cradle my face, guiding me deeper and deeper into his kiss. He reaches down and circles his arms around my thighs and lifts me onto the desk. I run my hands up his thickly muscled arms, loving the feel of his soft tan skin on my fingertips and the hard strength just underneath. He steps between my legs, kissing me until every nerve ending in my body is coursing with need.
I pull his hair out of the tie that’s holding it back. I fan his dark chocolate waves around his strong shoulders and love the silky feel of it. I pull back, tracing his high cheeks and posh nose with my eyes, letting them roam over his chiseled jaw and full lips with pure veneration.
He pulls me into another kiss, his lips filled with the same kind of worship my gaze has. Violet magic appears on my arms, but neither one of us is fazed as it travels from me to him. His groan of pleasure vibrates my whole body, and it makes me ache even more to move things along. I pull off my sports bra, and Valen chuckles as my lips are pulled from his.
“Where’s the fire?” he asks on a laugh.
“In my vagina,” I announce and then crack up. “That sounded way less sexy than I thought it would.”
Valen runs his thumb across my smile, and his hazel eyes flash with heat. “How did I get so lucky to be chosen by you?” he asks, his tone pure worship, and if I had any response, it would have been swallowed up by his kiss and all the want and admiration he pours into it. I tug at his pants, untying the strings to his sweats as he pulls at the waist of my leggings. My underwear goes with them, and he crouches to pull everything slowly down my legs.
I want him to hurry; I miss the feel of his body against mine already, but Valen has other plans as he kisses gently back up my calf, behind my knee, up my thigh. I shiver with anticipation and watch him hungrily as he flicks his tongue out to tease my leg. I grab him by his wavy, dark brown hair and redirect his attention to where I want it to be.
“Ah yes, how could I forget you were suffering with fire crotch?”
I laugh, but it quickly turns into a moan as Valen spreads me and flicks his tongue out against my clit. He teases me with soft strokes, and just when I’m about to throw him on his back and ride his face, he sucks me into his mouth and shoves a finger inside of me. I shout out my approval, and the vibration of his pleased moan sends tingles all the way through my limbs.
Valen pulls away from my clit with a pop and pumps his finger inside of me slowly. “I’ve been dreaming of doing this since that first night you fell asleep on top of me.”
“Mmmmm,” is all I can manage as he adds a second finger inside of me and curls them up, hitting a place at the roof of my vagina that I’d like him to spend more time exploring.
“I woke up, and you were straddling me, and I should have flipped you on your back right then and there and fucked you, but I didn’t, and it’s haunted me every day since,” he tells me, his tone deep and velvety.
“So fuck me now,” I challenge, and I watch as he circles my clit with his tongue and moves his fingers in and out of me faster and faster.
I writhe with the sensations his mouth and fingers are giving me, and he growls in approval, his eyes fixed on mine. “You like that, sweet Vinna? Show me how much you like it by coming all over my face.”
