I lean out the window as far as I can go without falling so that I can try to get to her. “Coon, sweet girl...come here, and I’ll help you inside,” I call out as I continue to pat the roof of the car.
I feel Brant’s hands grip my waist. “Remi,” he rebukes. “Get back in here.”
He yanks me back onto the seat and buckles me in. “Hey!” I slap his hands away, but he doesn’t budge or let me unbuckle. “Coon might be up there!”
“I’m not letting you fall out of the damn car,” Brant retorts.
I ignore him and lean out the window, but I can’t go far with the seatbelt now digging into my lap and shoulder. “Cocoon! Get back in here!”
“The damn opossum is not on the roof. There’s no way,” Madix argues, but he has no idea who he’s dealing with. Coon lives for these types of shenanigans.
There’s no answering noise or scratch marks indicating that she’s making her way towards me and my now open window, but I have a feeling she’s up there.
“Come back in here right now!” I tell her again, the rushing wind carrying my sing-song order away.
I open my mouth to tell Madix to pull over, but before I can, I hear, “Oh, shit!” erupt from Madix’s mouth as he presses down on the breaks.
He doesn’t slam the car to a stop, but he presses down hard enough on the pedal that we all jerk forward a little, which is fine if you have a seatbelt on, but Puddles doesn’t, and Coon sure as hell doesn’t. My blood goes cold when I hear the sound of Coon sliding forward on the roof, her claws scraping against the metal as she tries to stop her trajectory.
“Shit!” I curse, at the same time that Brant grabs Puddles so that she doesn’t go flying forward.
Next thing I know, Coon’s brown and white little body is sliding down the windshield. I don’t know how she keeps herself from flying off, but relief floods me when she stops, spread-eagle on the pane of glass. Madix was already trying to slow down, but when Coon slides down into his line of sight, he slams on the brakes even harder. The guys all swear as they’re shoved forward, and Brant’s steel arms stay locked around Puddles as he tries to wrestle the middle seat belt to get it around her.
“Stop braking you idiot! You’re going to send her flying!” I shout, reaching up to punch Madix in the arm. That’s about when everyone in the car realizes that we’re not stopping. Madix’s alarmed, “Fuck...fuck...fuck!” fills the car, and I battle the panic and adrenaline that slams into me as the car goes sliding.
“I can’t stop, and I can’t fucking see with this thing on the windshield!” Madix shouts.
The big SUV starts veering to the left, but we’re still sliding forward, and now Coon has her claws gripped around the windshield wipers, and I hear it start to snap as her tail flails around.
“Turn into the slide, turn into the slide!” I say frantically.
Madix turns the steering wheel to the right to try and straighten out the hydroplaning car, but he overcorrects and it sends us spinning in the opposite direction. Various versions ofoh shitandfuckare shouted out and punctuated by my, “Hang on baby!” and a silent prayer that somehow Coon won’t get thrown off.
The pleas and curses are replaced by yelps, as the front of the car tilts forward, and I’m suddenly convinced we’re going over a cliff. My life nearly flashes before my eyes as my mouth starts spouting off everything I’ve hidden under my tongue. “Oh God, this is it! I love you, Daddy, I’m sorry I’m a stubborn asshole! And Iwasthe one who duct-taped Braden Dodds to the flag pole and rubbed bacon grease all over him!” I confess. “He liked it though, which is why he’d never tell you who did it! Fuck, I can’t believe I’m going to die before I hit my orgasm quota!”
I brace my hands against the back of Madix’s seat, readying myself as much as I can for the inevitable freefall, while Madix has his head poking out through his rolled down window as he attempts to to not kill us all. When Coon shifts and the windshield wiper moves more, I catch a glimpse through the windshield, but instead of seeing sky or rocks, I just see trees. We’re not careening off a cliff, but about to smash into a wall of timber.
Shit.
“Coon, save yourself! Jump to safety!” I scream, before the the front of the Explorer is clipped by an Aspen, putting us into a spin. We get serenaded by the sound of metal crumbling and glass breaking as the SUV slams into several trees on the passenger side and then bounces off to repeat the hits on the driver's side of the car. Coon is holding onto the wiper one second, and gone the next, giving us a clear view as we pinball down the hill. I scream, the guys shout, and then our way too fast-moving car hits one last tree head on, before finally coming to a stop.
We all slam forward and then back again as the car violently halts. I have Brant’s arm clasped in a death grip, and he’s still clutching onto Puddles, all three of us mashed together on the seat. We all breathe, staring wildly, as we hear the tick of the damaged engine and steam starts spilling out of the hood.
Madix is the first to speak as he clears his throat. “Everyone okay?” he asks, looking at all of us and taking stock. We all nod and sound off ouryeses.“We should uh, probably get out.”
“You should probably not fucking wreck the car next time,” Theo snaps.
“You think this is on me? Her fucking pet made it impossible to see,” Madix defends, but I can see the redness around his neck and ears. Poor alpha male is probably not used to fucking up like this, and I’m pretty sure he’s embarrassed.
“Thanks for buckling me,” I tell Brant. “Good foresight on that one.”
He gives me a nod, and then the shock dissipates enough for my eyes to widen in panic. “Shit! Coon!”
Madix swallows. “Stay here. I’ll go check.”
He unbuckles his seatbelt and moves to open the car door. It’s smashed in quite a bit, so he has to muscle it with his shoulder several times before he can get it to budge. I manage to unhook my tight grip from Brant’s biceps enough to let go.
“You alright?” he asks.
