With that thought, I shove the lust back down, refusing to look at it, and head off toward the bathroom. I know I’m leaving drops of water in my path, but Madix can fuck off. I need a shower. A very, very cold shower that will hopefully help me get my shit together. Remi is just a woman. I can wrangle in the needs of my dick. My dick is not in charge.
At least, that’s what I tell myself as I stomp into the bathroom and turn to shut the door, just in time to see Remi walk into her room and bend over to pick something up. I get a view of her perfect ass, and I bite back a groan as I slam the door shut.Fuck. I hope the shower water will reach subzero temperatures, because that’s what it’s going to take to combat this hard-on.
8
Theo
Brant stays in the shower for a ridiculously long time. He’s probably jerking off. I keep having to think about off-the-wall trivia to keep my own dick from growing. I’ve known Remington April for exactly zero four hundred hours, and I’ve already seen her in her underwear. Twice. Not that I’m complaining.
She has a plump ass, hips you can grab, and a heavy set of tits over a flat stomach. I’d love to get my hands on her, but we’re here for a reason, and it sure as shit isn’t to seduce Sheriff April’s daughter. I’ve had enough flak from fathers getting pissed when I pluck their daughters’ daisies. The last thing I need is to piss off the sheriff. He’s one of the only men besides Madix and Brant that I actually like and seems to not hate me. I prefer to keep it that way and not ruin it with a quick fuck. Besides, chicks always get weird when they see my missing leg, and I don’t want to ruin the fantasy.
I’m drinking the rest of the instant coffee I made when Remi comes out of her bedroom. She’s braided her wet hair and is wearing leggings and a rock band t-shirt with a pair of fuzzy purple socks that have peacocks all over them.
I bite my lip, trying not to smile at her outfit choice, and watch as she goes over to the VHS movies inside the cabinet. “Wanna watch something? Power might go out, since I run mostly on solar, but I have a back-up generator with plenty of juice in it.”
I shake my head. “We should conserve as much energy as possible,” I warn her. “I don’t want to scare you, but who knows how long the power will stay on? Cell phones are already down.”
She waves a dismissive hand. “Now you’re just being dramatic.”
I frown. “Remi, I’m afraid you’re not understanding the severity of this situation. The world—”
“Okay, okay,” she says, cutting me off. “While I’m in this getaway cabin, I don’t complicate my life with the outside world. It’s my number one rule. Why do you think I’m even out here?” she asks with exasperation. “I do it to get away from the world. That means no phone, no internet, no people, or distractions. Just me and my animals, getting centered and calm. Before I can argue and get her to understand exactly how serious shit is, she snaps her fingers with an idea. “Oh! I’ll get my old laptop. I have a few old movies saved on that.”
She disappears into her bedroom and I scrub a hand down my face. Madix comes in holding a toilet brush in one hand and a bucket of strong ass smelling cleaner in the other. He even has a cooking apron on. This time, I don’t try to stave off the smile that wants to take over my face. “Dude. You look ridiculous,” I tell him.
“Fuck off,” he says as he stalks to the bathroom and pounds on the door. “Get the hell out!” he hollers to Brant. “I need to clean.”
I don’t hear Brant’s reply, but a minute later, he comes out, rolling his eyes at Madix as he passes. Brant collapses onto one end of the overstuffed sofa and Puddles immediately moves from where she was snoozing on the rug to lay at his feet. I sit on the opposite end of the couch and finish off the rest of the weak coffee in my mug. I miss the shit we used to get on our tours in Iraq. That black gold could keep you up for days if you brewed it right.
Remi comes practically skipping out of her room with her laptop in hand, and I try to focus on that instead of her bouncing tits. Never thought I’d be the one hoping a chick would put her bra on.
Instead of sitting on the armchair like I thought she would, she plops down right between Brant and me. I try not to think about the soft skin of her arm as it brushes against mine. I really need to get laid if this is the kind of shit that I’m thinking. Clearly, my sex-starved state is now officially an issue, since I can’t seem to focus on anything other than where I’d like to stick my dick.
“So you guys are Endstone transplants, but I’m sure you know the major players in town,” she says.
I look at her with confusion, and she gives me a smile that has me spending way too much time thinking about how nice of a mouth she has. Brant definitely had the right idea by going to jack off in the shower.
“You know the mayor and all the guys that hang with my dad and Zeke at the diner every night?” When we nod, she opens her laptop screen with a smirk. “You probably think they’re all respectable, but I’ve got all the dirt right here,” she pats the laptop lovingly, and her sweet smile grows mischievous. “Allow me to introduce you to April’s Fools,” she announces dramatically, and then presses play on whatever she has queued up on her computer.
A video starts playing, and I immediately recognize a younger version of Zeke and Sheriff April. The image is slightly grainy as it zooms in, but I see Zeke and the sheriff coming out of the Zeke’s house, which is easily discernible by the lawn gnomes he has all over his yard. Those damn gnomes are still there to this day, just more weathered looking.
The video moves as the men walk off the porch and head into the camera’s direction, but I can see from the leaves around the lens that the person taking the video is hiding in Zeke’s hedges. When Zeke gets to the driveway, he and the sheriff stop short, their mouths agape as they stare at what’s in front of them. I hear Zeke’s voice yell, “What...where is my truck? And where the hell did this horse come from?”
Giggling erupts from the video, and the camera is whipped around to show a younger Remington with her hand over her mouth as she laughs hysterically. “He tried to beat me at this year’s April Fools pranks,” she whispers into the camera. “He wrapped the entire exterior of my house with plastic wrap.” She shakes her head in mock pity. “Such an amatuer. I did that trick when I was twelve.”
She swings the camera back to face them. Zeke is cursing up a storm and then points at Sheriff April’s face. “This is your fault. Your girl’s running rampant again.”
The sheriff looks like he’s trying really hard not to laugh as he settles his hands over his hips. “You do it every year, too.”
Zeke doesn’t seem to have an argument against that, so he curses again all while glaring at the white and gray dappled horse standing in his driveway, munching on a barrel of hay. “You’ll need to give me a lift to the range,” he tells Sheriff April.
“I’d be happy to, but I’ll need to you help me clear my car of ping pong balls first,” he tells Zeke casually, like it’s some kind of regular occurrence.
Zeke lets off another string of swear words and Sheriff April just shrugs and starts walking in the direction of his house which is about a mile down the road. I guess even back in the day, he’s always had his morning walk, shared coffee and donuts at Zeke’s house, and then gone to the shooting range. These people sure do like their routines.
“April! Get back here and call your daughter! Make her bring me my car back!” Zeke demands.
“No can do,” the sheriff calls over his shoulder. “She replaced my phone and my police radio with a toy walkie talkie and a talking banana. Can’t help ya.”
