“So what, we just leave her here?” Madix asks, a touch of incredulity to his tone.
“What happened to,if he wants to stay out here exposed and at risk, then he’s a dumbass, and good riddance?”I ask, repeating his earlier words in the car verbatim.
Madix gives me an unamused look. “Well for starters, he’s a she, and yeah, she might be okay for now, but for the long-run, she’s going to run into a ton of issues out here alone. Plus, she’s downright foolish. I mean, who the fuck purposely plants conductors into their backyard so lightning will hit it?” he asks, tossing his hands up.
At that moment, Remi’s voice fills the house and we all grow quiet. It takes me a couple of seconds to place it, but as soon as she starts to rap Jay-Z’s verse, I recognize that she’s singing and rappingNo Church in The Wild. I let out a humorous snort, and Madix gestures in the direction she walked off in like her impromptu performance is further proof that she can’t be left out here on her own.
Theo grins. “I like her.”
Madix rolls his dark eyes. “You would.”
Theo levels him with a look. “Like you don’t? Don’t even try to pretend otherwise. That would just be embarrassing.”
Madix flips him off and then opens the front door. “I’ll get our shit. We can’t go anywhere with this storm, and I don’t want to have to pay that guy for a new car because Pud peed all over this one,” he says, his point punctuating when another crack of thunder shakes the walls. “We’ll have to stay here until this clears up.”
He hurries outside and runs to the truck, returning seconds later with our bags. He tosses our duffles at our feet, and all three of us quickly strip out of our soaking wet clothing, while Remi continues to serenade us from the shower. Madix is mumbling something about opossums while I yank on a pair of sweatpants and a dry shirt.
All three of us leave our wet clothes and boots to dry by the fire. “We’ll convince her to leave as soon as the storm ends,” Theo says confidently.
I nod, watching while Madix starts picking up the random items around the living room. The stack of paperbacks on the coffee table get put on the bookshelf, the dirty rug gets rolled up and brought to the kitchen sink to soak, and he snaps at me to clean up Puddles's...puddle of piss on the floor.
Theo walks over to the entertainment table where an old, massive television sits. “She has VHS. Not even a DVD player,” he muses.
I finish cleaning up Puddles’s thunderstorm gift, and by the time I’m done, Madix is already doing his OCD clean-up shit in the kitchen. I can see him scrubbing the sink with one hand while simultaneously wiping the birdseed piles on the counter into the trash can. He even found yellow rubber gloves to wear while he cleans. The wrists have purple flowers on them. They go nicely with his scowl. If I ever wished my phone worked, it’s right now. This would be the best picture ever.
I turn around and see Remi walking out from the hallway, wrapped in just a white towel. Scratch that.Thiswould be the best picture ever.
The old-school values my mother taught me about chivalry and how to treat a woman rear up and demand I look away from Remi when she re-wraps her towel and walks toward what I assume is her bedroom. But her long legs and the strands of water-darkened blonde hair that are plastered to her naked shoulder are like a siren song to my sex-deprived mind. As if she can feel my eyes on her, Remi looks back, her gaze immediately locking onto mine. A satisfied smirk crawls over her face, and she nods her head in the direction of her room before disappearing through the doorway.
Does that mean what I think it meant? I stand for a second and replay the moment in my head, trying to interpret what else it could have meant. I take a step towards the door Remi just disappeared through, but another rumble of thunder and Madix’s commanding voice keeps me from advancing any further.
“Dude, Puddles just made another puddle, “ he announces all pissy, and my thoughts immediately switch from visions of a naked Remi underneath me on her bed, to my poor dog who’s currently owning her namesake.
I grab some paper towels and whatever cleaner Madix hands me, and clean up Puddles's second mess while talking to her and trying to soothe her with my calm tone. I wipe up the second application of cleaner and look up just in time to see Remi decked out in what looks like the rubber overalls that fisherman wear. She reaches for a jacket and moves toward the front door.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“I heard pecking on my roof, so I’m pretty sure my goose has led the chickens astray again. They need roof rescuing from this storm,” she says with a frown. “Too bad it’saftermy shower. I was all warm and toasty.”
Theo’s eyebrows scrunch with confusion and I find my face is doing the same. “Wait...What?”
Remi rolls her eyes at both of us like we’re the ones being dense. “I need to go up on the roof,” she announces slowly, before moving to go outside.
Before I know it, I’m at her side and grabbing her hand away from the door. “You can’t go up on the roof in a thunderstorm. Are youtryingto get hit by lightning? I mean, maybe it’s good for the soil and shit, but I’m pretty sure our bodies don’t fare so well.”
“Oh, I’ve been hit by lightning before,” she tells me seriously. “It wasn’t so bad.”
I...honestly don’t know what to say to that.
She yanks open the door, and I’m cursing as I pull on my wet boots and coat, before rushing out after her. The rain is coming down in sheets that feel more like ice slicing against my skin. Seriously, for March, the weather seems like it’s still trying to hold onto winter instead of welcoming spring.
I have to shield my eyes with my hand in order to see where Remi went. It’s raining so hard that it looks like it’s coming from above as well as below. Good thing her foundation is raised a bit, because this land seems like a real flood hazard.
I curse when I catch her shadowed figure on the side of the house where she’s placing a fuckingmetalladder against the siding and climbing up.
“Is this chick fucking for real?” I mutter to myself.
I look back at the house and see Theo grinning at me from the window. Asshole waves to me as he sips on a cup of steaming coffee and stays nice and dry in his warm flannel. I want to punch him. I stuff my glasses in my pocket, since I won’t be able to see a damn thing with them on in the rain. They’re just for distance, anyway.
