Madix gives up on trying to nudge Puddles’s big-ass body away from him, and instead sighs and gives her the can. She happily licks it clean, and then releases a sound from her rear-end that is immediately accompanied by the smell of shit and rotten eggs.
“Ugh, fuck, Pud. That’s disgusting!” Madix laments, as he tries to scoot away from her.
We all wrinkle our noses and do our best not to inhale too deeply.
“She is sleeping outside tonight if that keeps up,” Madix warns Brant, who looks so offended you would think Madix just asked him to kiss his boots.
“She sleeps with me,” Brant says sternly.
I laugh and elbow Madix. “Swipe one of those old-ass gas masks they packed for us in the back. I call first watch!”
Madix glares at me and pushes Puddles away from him when she tries to crawl into his lap.
“Come here, baby,” Brant calls to her. “That dick doesn’t know how to treat a woman right.”
Madix’s eyebrows drop, and his nose scrunches up even more. “No woman I’m interested in rips ass the way she does.”
Brant covers Puddles floppy ears like he’s protecting her from Madix’s words. “Everyone shits and farts, Madix.”
“Yeah, but no chick of mine is gonna lick her asshole right after it happens,” Madix replies, not missing a beat.
In that exact moment, Puddles turns to Brant and licks his cheek, leaving a nice streak of drool behind.
“Gross, man,” Madix tells him, and he gets up and heads for the tent. “I’m going to sleep before I see and smell any more fucked up and traumatizing shit.”
I laugh, but lean away from Puddles when she tries to slather me with a kiss next.
“I’m not that kind of boy. Puddles,” I tease her. “Think you can just go around kissing whoever you want? I need exclusivity!”
Her little nub of a tail starts going a mile a minute, responding to my playful tone. Brant chuckles and stands up, dusting himself off. “Three or four hour shifts?” he asks.
“Four, I got a good long nap in the car.”
He nods at me and then strides toward the tent. “Ready for me, sailor?” Brant calls out to Madix with a joking grin.
He whips his shirt over his head and sends me a smartass smile over his shoulder before unzipping the front of the tent and climbing in. Puddles follows him, and I crack up at theumphMadix gives. He probably just took a paw to the balls.
As they get settled in, I add more wood to the fire before perching on a stump that Brant dragged over. I rub at my leg, trying to fight the urge to take my prosthetic off and let the skin breathe. The last thing I want is to do that and have someone come stomping through the clearing—which would be my fucking luck—so I rub around where the stump of my leg fits into the socket of the prosthetic, trying to massage some of the pain away. That will have to do in the meantime. Now I just have to count down the minutes until we can get back on the road, grab this dude, and hightail it back to the safety and comfort of Endstone.
5
Madix
The sun peeks over the horizon on my left, and the sky is lit up with pinks and oranges. I turn off the road we’re on, and Theo reads me the directions as we make our way to Remington’s house. There’s no need for us to trace a back road path at this point. We seem to be surrounded by nothing, which makeseverypath to Remington’s house a back road. We’ve been lucky so far because we haven’t seen another car during this whole drive, and other than waking up with Brant’s morning wood against my back and a crick in my neck, last night’s camping trip went down without a hitch.
I massage the side of my neck, paying careful attention to the knot I find there.
“You want me to rub one off for you?” Brant asks, and I turn to him confused, and replay what he just asked me. “Did...you...just proposition me?”
“Brant, for the love of all that is holy in the world, ‘rub one off’ is another term for jerking off. It’s not a fucking massage term!” Theo laughs.
Brant frowns. “I’ll have you know that I was told that by an actual masseuse. So, you’ll just have to excuse me when I trust a professional over you two horny assholes who think everything has to do with fucking or jerking off,” Brant defends as Puddles gives a supportive huff.
“Oh, she was a professional alright, but not the way you were thinking she was,” Theo grins, earning himself a solid punch in the shoulder from Brant.
I chuckle and shake my head. “Thanks for the offer, but it’s a hard pass from me.”
Theo reaches over and smacks Brant playfully. “Hear that? He said he’s hard.”
