I hold onto him tightly as he grips my ass and drives in and out of me at a pace that has us both panting already. He thrusts in deeply and suddenly freezes. I nip at his jawline and grind against him with my hips encouraging him to keep going, but he doesn’t move. Every muscle in his body is rigid and tense, and I’m not sure what the hell is going on.
“Ryker, are you okay?” I ask, trying to pull back and get a look at his face, but he’s pressed his head into my shoulder.
He groans, but it’s not the sexy kind you hear when someone is enjoying themselves. I shove against his chest, trying to push him out of me so I can figure out what’s happening but his grip on my ass becomes bruising, and something about it makes me start to panic. I call on extra strength from my runes and shove hard against Ryker pressing my back into the marble of the shower wall to give me even more leverage.
I slip out of Ryker’s hold, and he crumbles to the ground as my feet touch the shower floor. I scramble to him brushing wet locks out of his face. His eyes are squeezed tightly closed, his jaw clenched, and he’s scaring the shit out of me. I shout for Knox as my fingers try and fail to sooth away whatever the fuck is happening to Ryker. I run a hand down his arm, and I can feel every inch of muscle locked up and rigid. I scream for Knox again, but the doorway remains empty. I run a shaky finger over the runes behind my ear and mentally scream for help.
“Ryker, can you hear me? What the fuck is happening? Are you hurt? Did I hurt you somehow?”
My hands flutter over him, but I don’t set them down anywhere for fear that somehow it might make whatever’s happening worse. A strained scream starts to bubble out of Ryker’s clenched teeth, and the agonizing sound fucking kills me. Heavy footfall pounds just outside of the bathroom and I hear shouted voices coming closer. Valen runs through the doorway first, and with no hesitation, he heads right for me and Ryker.
“I don’t know what happened. One minute he was fine, and then he just froze up like this. He’s hurting, Valen, but I can’t tell from what.”
Valen’s worried gaze leaves mine as he crouches down next to Ryker and tries to talk to him to no avail.
“Whatever it is, it’s fucking with Knox, too; we found him writhing in the bed when we ran in here.”
Valen’s words are punctuated by Bastien running into the bathroom.
“Knox is in agony. I don’t think he can talk.”
I open my mouth to ask them what the fuck is going on when the realization hits me like a sledgehammer.Oh fuck, I did this!
30
Itake in Ryker’s body, frozen in pain, his clenched eyes, his inability to respond or interact with anything beyond what he’s feeling right now, and I recognize it from when it happened to me at sixteen. He’s going to come out of the worst of it, and that’s when the screaming will start, and the runes will sear themselves into him and Knox, the magic altering them forever.
Fuck! I thought we had to bond or whatever the fuck it’s called for this to happen?
“Valen, it’s the runes!” I tell him, the panic clear in my voice.
Valen turns to me, and frantically his eyes run over my runes.
“Not mine, they’re getting runes.” I gesture frantically down to Ryker who’s still rigid with agony on the shower floor.
Bastien hurriedly steps in and turns the water off.
“I thought we had to be bound or something for me to transfer my magic, but apparently not. That’s what’s happening to them. It’s the transference!”
Understanding dawns on the twins’ faces, and it immediately mixes with shock and then worry.
“Let’s get him to the bed,” Bastien announces, and without any further discussion Valen and Bastien both bend down and lift Ryker off the floor.
He makes a pained noise, and I break a little, knowing how much he’s hurting right now. Bastien and Valen easily maneuver Ryker out of the large shower, and I quickly grab a few towels and wrap him up. They take him out to the bed where my heart splinters even more at seeing the agony that’s taken hold of Knox too.
He’s not as locked up as Ryker, at least his body isn’t, but his face is frozen in a silent scream as he fists the sheets beneath his hands and writhes as much as his pain filled muscles will let him. They set Ryker on the massive bed, and I scramble onto it, dampening everything I touch. I’m panicked and frustratingly clueless about what to do now. This moment reaffirms that watching someone I care about suffer, is infinitely worse than any amount of pain or suffering I’ve ever personally experienced.
“It’s going to be okay, you guys. It’ll be over soon,” Valen tells them, and the words sit more like a prayer in the room than an offer of reassurance.
Bastien and Valen stand helplessly on the side of the bed, and I can hear Sabin talking to someone on the other side of the door. A thought races through my mind, and I reach out to both Knox and Ryker setting the palms of my hands on both of their chests. I was hoping just my touch might offer some relief like theirs had during my awakening, but if they’re feeling anything good from my damp hand against their skin, they aren’t able to show it.
I close my eyes and tap into the chasm in my center. I beg my healing magic to help me do something. I release a grateful whimper when the thick, soft-teal strands of power cooperate without hesitation. The stream of hope that runs through me when my magic answers my call quickly dries up when I feed the healing magic into Ryker and Knox and nothing happens. I feel raw and gutted at having to watch them go through this. I know it will end. I know they’ll be okay. But it offers zero comfort as Knox screams through a clenched jaw, his voice giving agony a sound that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
I know from personal experience that as soon as you can scream through the pain, you’re in the final stages of this fucked up process, but that doesn’t make it any less brutal. I kneel between Knox and Ryker on the bed refusing to take my eyes from them. I did this, and I deserve to have to live with the memories of how it hurt them. The other guys call my name, but I can’t look at them. The picture is now crystal clear for them, and there’s no more denying that what I am is going to hurt them. Just like it’s hurting Knox and Ryker. Just like it hurt Talon. I can’t bear to see that knowledge and understanding written all over their faces.
I want to beat the shit out of myself for letting something like this happen. I have a fucking tablet with information that might have clued me in on how transference works, but have I opened it even once? Nope. I look from Ryker to Knox and back again letting their cries of pain scar me the way that I deserve. I can’t keep hoping that somehow life is going to mellow out and resemble anything close to normal. I’m a Sentinel, and pain and fighting are written in the stars for me and everyone I care about.I’m a fucking plague.
Black marks float to the surface of their skin like the suffering has somehow boiled to the surface. The color deepens slowly, and the runes take on more and more clarity as the pained shouts reverberate around the room. A droplet of water drips from me onto Knox’s side, and it traces a path past the runes forming on his ribs. Another tear follows and I wipe furiously at my face to keep any more of me from tainting him or Ryker.
