“It wasn’t that, Vinna,” Evrin pleads.
I raise my eyebrows and tilt my head, giving himthe look,and he immediately rephrases his words.
“I mean maybe that is part of Lachlan’s problem, but that wasn’t the issue with me or with Aydin. It was the warning that somehow you weren’t what you seemed. After your reading, what you were became clear. Our suspicion morphed from the possibility that you were some kind of spy, to understanding that you were more than any of us thought possible – a Sentinel. For the first time, what you were wasn’t a threat, at least not in the way we had been thinking. We finally had some answers.”
I release a deep breath, not sure how I feel about anything they’ve just told me. It does help me understand, but it doesn’t help me feel better. I was hoping that, whatever it was Aydin had to say, that somehow it would magically erase all of the hurt. I should know by now that there are no quick fixes when it comes to shattered trust; when something breaks, you can’t always glue the pieces back together.
“It doesn’t make how you guys behaved acceptable. This doesn’t excuse any of you from acting without compassion and empathy,” Valen tells Aydin, voicing how I’m feeling perfectly.
Aydin meets Valen’s stare. “I know. Like I said, I don’t want this to sound like I’m making excuses. I’m not perfect. Evrin’s not perfect. None of us have been in this position before; we fucked up. But we learn and do better, that’s how life works, or should anyway.”
I try to put myself in their shoes. Would I have been any different? Could I have seen through the suspicion and doubt to the truth?Fuck. I didn’t even know what the truth was; how can I expect them to have foreseen it. I want to bitch about how he should have told me. But would I have done that, would I have just laid all my cards out there for someone I wasn’t sure would use them against me? I just don’t know.
I look around as I consider what they’ve said, and land on Evrin’s deep, brown gaze.
“Why did you never heal me? Ryker asked me once, and I could never figure out the answer.”
“I tried to, a couple of times, right after Lachlan attacked you, and after that incident in the car when you blasted Kegan. You didn’t want me to come near you.” He takes a hesitant step closer. “There was so much going on, and the last thing I wanted to do was force something on you just because I thought it needed to be done. I didn’t want to push or take away your choice, not like I saw Lachlan do. Maybe I should have tried harder to explain. I didn’t know how to go about forming a connection. I’ve just always been quiet, and I tend to stick to the background. I figured you knew I could heal and would come to me if you decided you needed it.” Evrin offers me a small smile.
I think back to the library when he tried to approach me after the attack, or how I reacted after I walked back to the car after I magically tased Kegan, or any of the other times Evrin healed Aydin when we sparred. He’s right, I told him I didn’t want him or anyone else coming near me. I was hesitant and distrustful around him because of everything that was going on with the others, and around me in general.
“Is there anything else I need to know before we work to move past all the shit?” I ask them both. “Think hard before you answer because I can’t deal with any more secrets from here on out. Not after what happened with Talon, and you guys. I’ve hit my limit. So if there was ever a time to get it all out, it’s now.”
The room falls silent, and I feel the rise and fall of the guys’ chests all around me. The steady synchronized rhythm soothes me, and I find more comfort in the simple contact than I ever thought I could. We’re connected, and the certainty of that steadies me in a way I’m in desperate need of.
“There are no more secrets, and I promise there won’t be any more again,” Aydin tells me.
“We’ll do better, Vinna.”
I nod my head at their statements. As awkward and stiff as this whole conversation is, it takes some the hurt weighing me down with it, too. There’s now hope where there was once only bitter hurt, and I suppose with everything that’s happened in the past month or so, that’s something.
26
My stomach lets out a yowl a feral cat would be wary of, and everyone looks at me with some form of shock on their face.
“Lay off me; I’m starving.” I laugh at my joke, but it’s lost underneath another vicious growl from my angry, empty stomach. Aydin chuckles and shakes his head.
“They don’t have shit here to eat, so we’ll go get something for you, Little Badass.”
He doesn’t give me time to answer or request anything before he and Evrin are ducking through the doorway and disappearing down the hallway.
“Well, as much as I love this pile of almost nakedness that’s happening right now, I feel better, and I want to get the fuck out of here,” I announce.
I move to get out of the cocoon of my Chosen and bodies around me vibrate with chuckles and grunts of agreement. Valen and Ryker are the first to climb out of bed. I pull Sabin’s shirt over my head and hand it back to him. Valen gives me my bra and shirt, and I slip both on while the others scoot out of bed around me, pulling on their own pants and shirts. I button up my jeans and give myself a quick once over. I don’t look any different as far as I can tell. I don’t spot any new runes, and aside from being a little shaky and a lot starving, I feel like me.
I look around the room for the first time and realize that I’m not in the assigned room they had me in before. I’m not sure who this one belongs to with its warm burnt orange tones and textured rugs and furniture set about the sizeable space. There’s a wall of bookshelves filled with books, and I’m tempted to go check out the collection, but a kiss to my neck pulls me away from that plan. I look up into Valen’s warm hazel eyes and match his tender smile.
“You scared the shit out of us.” He punctuates the statement with another short kiss to my lips. “I’m so relieved you’re okay. We all are,” he tells me, his lips against mine.
“Just keeping you on your toes. Wouldn’t want you to get too comfortable and secure, thinking things are just going to be smooth sailing from here on out,” I tease.
Valen chuckles. “True. The craziest shit does seem to happen around you.” He kisses the tip of my nose.
“Yeah, and I fucking love it!” Knox announces, as he snags me out of Valen’s grasp and lays a noisy quick kiss against my lips. I laugh, and he gives me a wink.
“Now, let’s get you the fuck out of this house, so we can get you settled into where you belong,” Bastien declares, before he also pecks me all too quickly on the lips.
Alrighty then, looks like kissing in front of the others is officially a thing now. Good to know. The guys start to spill out of the room into the hallway, and I find myself sheltered right in the middle of them. They’re once again in that protective mode that I first witnessed on the night of my reading. Their positioning warms my heart just like it did the first time I noticed it and every time it’s surfaced ever since.
