“What did he say?” Birdie asks, sounding a little more growly then she did before.
“I’ve only been a caster for a little while, and he thought things were moving too quickly.”
“You’ve been a caster your whole life, you’ve just known that’s what it was called for a short time. The fact that you’ve grown up the way that you have, dealing with everything you’ve had to deal with, puts you ahead of kids who grow up in this community, not behind them. I hope you know that Vinna," Lila tells me fiercely.
“You’re not lacking in anything that matters and makes you an incredible caster worthy of incredible things in your life," Birdie adds.
I give them a small smile. I never really thought about it that way. I’ve been focusing on all of the ways I’m behind or inadequate. I didn’t really think about how I might be better off because of who I already am and what I’ve been through.
“He is right about some things though. I’d known some of them for like a day before things started getting…intense. That can’t be normal right? Is this a magic thing, is it normal to feel this way about men you don’t even know?”
The sisters chuckle and look at each other with knowing smiles.
“I want to say it’snota magic thing, but honestly we don’t know much about the magic you have yet, so it’d be unwise to rule it out completely," Lila tells me. “But it sounds more like attraction to me, and when it comes to that, the best advice I can offer is to trust your instincts.”
The other sisters voice their agreement.
Adelaide grabs my hand. “It will all work out, love, exactly how it’s supposed to in the end. Trust yourself, trust others with your heart and vulnerability. You’re an exceptional female, don’t be afraid of happiness, fight for what you deserve.”
25
“Ineed anI heart kormat-shirt,” I tell the sisters, as we walk into the house from the garage. “Besides everything you ladies make, it’s my new favorite.”
They dole out hugs as they head up to their apartment and I walk into the kitchen. I hesitate for a second when I walk in and find the guys gathered around the island dishing up ice cream. Their conversation comes to an abrupt halt, and I give an awkward barely there smile before taking off for my room.
I unpack the bags of books and find a new home for each of them while I ruminate on the advice the sisters gave me at lunch. I want to be respectful of Sabin and how he feels, but the sisters are right. I’m not listening to my own instincts. I’m not listening to what I feel is right. Maybe it’s selfish of me to decide that what I want trumps everything else, but when I listen to my instincts, I always end up exactly where I need to be. So why am I ignoring them now?
A knock on my door pulls my head up, and I see one of the twins poke his head in.
“Bruiser, can I come in?”
I nod my head at Bastien and give him a small smile. I lean back against the built-in bookshelves, and Bastien plops his large frame on the sofa. The green in his hazel eyes is extra prominent today, and his gorgeous hair is down. It skims just past his collarbone, and his pecs flex enticingly as he sets his hands in his lap.
“New books?” he asks, in an effort to skate around the awkwardness hanging around us.
“Yeah just some basics, so I can start figuring out how to use magic and not just read about it,” I tell him and gesture with my thumb behind me.
“What’s in the box?”
I look around and then behind me, searching for the box he’s asking about. When I realize what it is, I pull the cedar rectangle down from the shelf and set it between my legs. I run my hand over the top of the smooth wood, tracing each of the four corners.
“These are my sister, Laiken’s, ashes. I planned on spreading them somewhere, but so far I haven’t found a place that felt right. So, yeah.”
“What happened to her?” He asks, his voice laced with empathy.
“Beth happened to her.” I scoff. “Beth was a user and a con artist. She got away with a lot, but she tried to blackmail this guy, and instead of him giving her what she wanted. He shot her, then he strangled Laiken and shot himself.”
“Fucking hell. I’m so sorry; that’s horrible.”
“After Beth kicked me out of the house, she moved. I had no way to find her or Laiken, but once I had enough money from my fights, I hired a private investigator. I tried to get Laiken to come with me, but she wouldn’t. I think Beth told her I had left her behind or something. She was so angry with me, but I should have fought harder for her.”
“Bruiser, you were just a kid yourself. You can’t blame yourself.”
“It’s impossible not to, all I have left are thoughts and memories, and this, until I find a place for her.” I gesture at the cedar box and then place it back up on the shelf.
Bastien stands up and scoops me off the ground like I weigh nothing. He bounces back down on the sofa with me in his lap.
“I was three when my parents went missing. They were part of the paladin coven that disappeared with your dad. I’ve spent most of my life obsessed with trying to find them, or find out what happened to them. So I understand how easy it is to get lost in the what-ifs. Don’t do that to yourself. Someone took my mom and dad, and someone took your sister, and the blame lies with those people. Don’t take on fault that doesn’t belong to you.”
