Mads nodded, a single tear sliding down his cheek. “Quite soon after we met. All that bravado, that courage, those thick walls you carried around with you. They had to be protecting something. I figured out early that you took risks because you didn’t value yourself enough to care what happened to you. And you didn’t trust that others did either. You didn’t trust their love.Davis’slove.Mylove.Ourlove.”
I couldn’t hold his gaze. “He said the same, but I couldn’t see it at the time. Couldn’t, or wouldn’t. I think he was hurt because of that. Like he felt he wasn’t enough reason for me to change.”
Mads lifted my chin and kissed me softly on the lips. “I think maybe you simply weren’t ready. Timing is everything. Maybe you had to grow up a little more. Experience what you have these last two years. Get intimate with grief and anger and how easy it would be to lose your own life. Which only leaves one question.”
I waited, already knowing what that question was.
Mads’ bright green eyes searched mine. “Are you ready now? Are you ready to value and protect your own life and the one we’re going to create together?”
I cradled his face and brushed my lips over his. “Yes. I’m absolutely ready to open that can of worms and try and change. You’re worth me trying, but more importantly, and maybe for the first time, I think that I’m worth it too.”
Tears flooded Mads’ cheeks and he kissed me hard. “You are so fucking worth it.” He pushed me back and crawled into my lap.
It felt so good to hold him again, I couldn’t speak for the longest while, content to just feel him in my arms and know I hadn’t blown our future together.
Finally, I tried to explain what I was feeling. “We went through a lot, Mum and I, and I deserve a life free of my father’s constant voice in my head. I’m not soft or weak or unworthy, or any of the things he tried to stuff into my brain, and it’s time I started living like I actually believed it.” I buried my lips in Mads’ hair and he hummed in agreement.
“I love you, Madigan Delaney Church, and I want to live a long, long life with you at my side. I love you, and I’ll spend every waking moment making sure you know that you... thatwe... are my number one priority. He doesn’t get to win. My father doesn’t get to win.”I tipped Mads’ chin up so I could see his eyes. “Wedo, baby.Weget to win. You and me.”
Mads pressed his lips softly to mine and then he smiled. “I love you too, Nick Lucas Fisher, and that’s all I needed to hear.”
EPILOGUE
8 MONTHS LATER
MADIGAN
The bedroom doorshook on its hinges from the force of the blows. “Stop whatever you’re doing in there that I really, really don’t want to know about, and get out of bed.”
It wasn’t the first time Gazza had tried to get us moving, but we were reluctant to leave the safety of our bed, knowing what the day ahead would bring. I glanced to where Nick slept blissfully through the racket and grinned. If the man’s snoring didn’t wake him, Gazza didn’t have a chance in hell.
“You have fifteen minutes until I send in the dogs,” Gazza warned. “Lizzie has arrived with Shirley and Chloe, and I’d be more than happy for them to light a fire under both your arses.”
Shit.“Okay. Fine. We’re coming,” I whisper-shouted as Nick stirred beside me. “Just... keep them away, please.”
“Fifteen minutes,” Gazza repeated.
I caught a cackle of elderly giggles in the background and groaned.Fuck my life.
“His life will be measured in hours if he lets those women anywhere near this bedroom,” Nick muttered without opening his eyes. “And I blame you, just so you know. It was your idea to move my Mum up here. Add Jerry to the mix and they’ve got the makings of a powerful coven.”
I chuckled but said nothing. It had been five months since Chloe and Teddy had made the move from Blenheim into an independent villa at Golden Oaks. Chloe had jumped at the opportunity when Nick first raised the idea. The villa would allow Chloe to keep her independence until the Parkinson’s disease progressed to the point that she’d need more care. If that happened, she’d move into a single room like Shirley’s in the main building itself.
As much as we’d hoped the symptoms of the disease had been completely caused by the Valium, that hadn’t been the case at all. The diagnosis had in fact been genuine. The Valium had merely mimicked and exacerbated the symptoms to make her appear much worse than she was.
In the end, the move to Auckland had gone surprisingly well, helped along by the wicked friendship that developed quickly between the three women, Chloe, Shirley, and Nick’s mother-in-law, Lizzie, not to mention, their enabler, Jerry.
The unholy trinity seemed intent on driving us up the wall. They went everywhere together with a social calendar that made Nick and me look like hermits by comparison—fine by us. In addition, they had a habit of dropping in unannounced to take over my...ourkitchen while they told us about their escapades and somehow managed to utilise every pot and appliance in my butler’s pantry. Nick loved every second of the whirlwind visits, and I suppose I did too, if it wasn’t for the fact that it usually took until midnight for me to get everything shipshape again once they left.
The three women had also appointed themselves unofficial parental figures to Lee and Aaron, who surprisingly seemed to dote on them in return, and revelled in the attention. The brothers had recently found an apartment and were due to move out in a few weeks—good news all around. We’d miss their presence, but it would be good to finally have the house to ourselves and begin to create this new life together on our own.
Besides, there was always Gazza to keep us on our toes. He hadn’t talked to me for a week after I’d returned from Blenheim, furious and hurt that I hadn’t called him at the time to let him know what was happening. I’d apologised, realising I still had much to learn about truly letting people into my life and accepting that I had real friends who cared deeply about me. He forgave me eventually, and we settled back into our comfortable studio routine. The tension between him and Lee, however, still hadn’t improved and I’d given up on trying to fathom that.
The police proceedings had kept us busy in Blenheim for almost a week. We would have to return for the trial, but the rest could be done at a distance. Austin and Belinda were heading to prison for a long time, and Nick and Chloe were in conversation with her lawyer about changing the life interest provisions in Brendon’s will and trust, considering Austin’s attempt to murder her. It was a complicated legal negotiation that I was happy to leave to them.
When the police searched Austin’s house, they’d found a large supply of Valium along with cocaine, meth, and a selection of other hallucinogens and barbiturates, many with hospital labelling still attached. Based on what they found, and the detailed plan that Belinda had set in motion, Wright was actively looking into Belinda’s work history to see if there were any questions around missing medications with her past employers or if she’d had any connection with suspicious deaths of peopleshe’d cared for or been associated with. No surprise there. The woman was clearly a sociopath.
Samuel had flown to Blenheim to support us during the police investigation, and he and Detective Wright had bonded over a mutual frustration with Nick and me and a love for the Crusaders rugby team. When work called me back to Auckland, Nick remained in Blenheim. Chloe fought two bouts of pneumonia before she was finally released from hospital and Nick stayed to oversee her recovery and to prepare the townhouse for sale.
