Startled, I did my best not to show it and nodded rather than lie straight to the man’s face. On the basis of what I’d experienced so far, I had precisely zero intention of cosying up toanyof Davis’s friends, grief be damned.
Luther grinned. “Ouch. You have a crap poker face, do you know that?”
The comment made me laugh, which was pretty much a miracle at that point. “Yep,” I agreed. “Nick says I can’t lie for shit.”
Luther glanced over to where Nick stood talking with a short, balding man and said, “He’s in love with you. Everyone can see it. That’s why some of them are being such fucking ugly pricks.”
The assertion, especially coming from Davis’s best friend, brought a lump to my throat. Tears pricked my eyes and Iblinked them away, not realising until that moment just how deeply I’d felt the rejection. My gaze darted questioningly to his. “That’s somewhat of a surprise statement—” I glanced around the room. “—all things considered.”
Luther shrugged. “There’s a lot of people here that can’t, or won’t, get their heads out of their arses when it comes to Davis and Nick. But I’ve seen the way Nick looks at you. His eyes have that same softness I saw with Davis. Now, personally, I love the grumpy bastard, but let’s be honest. Nick’s a hard character with an unforgiving nature. Which means you must be pretty special to have broken through that prickly exterior.” He smiled kindly. “And if I had to guess, I’d say that getting to this point in your relationship was no walk in the park.”
Jesus Christ.The man was going to make me fucking cry. “No.” I swallowed hard. “Not exactly.” I didn’t know what else to say, so I took a long guzzle from my glass instead.
“Yeah. I thought so.” Luther waggled his fingers at Nick, who was sending worried glances our way. “Davis would be happy; I hope you know that.” Luther faced me again. “He’d be happy forbothof you. I am too.” His eyes glistened as he squeezed my shoulder. “Fuck everyone else. Some will come around. Some won’t. They’re not important, although it won’t stop me having a quiet word with a few of the worst culprits.”
Horrified, I rushed to protest. “No, please. I don’t want?—”
“ButIdo.” Luther’s eyes flashed with a cool anger, then he smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll be nice. But this ismyapartment,mybest friend’s widower and his new partner, and I don’t take kindly to my guests being made to feel unwelcome. There’s grief, and then there’s plain bad manners.”
Taken aback, I simply nodded and said, “Thank you.”
Luther squeezed my hand. “You’re welcome. And I’ll be calling you about that coffee. In the meantime, if you’d like to follow the hall to the end, my study has a small but interestingshelf of old books. I’m embarrassed to admit they’re not really my thing, but my grandfather was a collector of sorts, and you might find it interesting. I’ll tell Nick where to find you.” He gave my hand another squeeze and walked away, and for the first time since we’d arrived, I felt I might have found a place in this group.
An hour later, Nick found me curled up in an armchair with my nose buried in an 1893 leather-bound edition ofThe Poetical Works of Sir Walter Scott. He took my hand, kissed me thoroughly, and we left the party early. Clearly embarrassed, he apologised for his friends all the way home, but the memory still stung and I wasn’t sure how I felt about the whole experience, including Nick’s part in it.
We’d gone to bed and hadn’t talked since.
Nick put the remains of his toast back on his plate and pushed it away. He picked up his coffee, put it down without taking a sip, and picked it up again. When he put it down the second time, I reached across the table and took his hand.
“Stop worrying,” I told him. “I’m fine. I’m a big boy, Nick. I’ll survive.We’llsurvive.”
Those beautiful grey eyes lifted to mine and I flinched at the guilt I saw buried in their depths. “But you shouldn’t have had to go through that. What the hell were they thinking? Bunch of arseholes. And I just fucking let them. I should’ve said something and I didn’t. I should’ve done something, and I didn’t.” His fingers tightened around mine. “I let you down... again.”
No, you didn’t.I circled the table and sat next to him. “Okay. So, I guess we’re doing this.” I took a breath. “Am I pissed off at you for not doing more? Yeah. Little bit.” I held my thumb and finger barely apart. “But mostly I’m pissed off at myself that I didn’t insist on staying behind.”
He winced. “You tried to warn me and I didn’t listen.”
I shrugged. “No, but what happened was their responsibility, not yours. You were put in an impossible situation. As for whattheywere thinking? I’d guess that they simply weren’t ready for me. I was there and Davis wasn’t. You know what that’s like, remember? Did I like what happened? Hell no, I didn’t. Luther made a well-intentioned mistake in inviting me along, and we made one in accepting that. On your own, you could’ve maybe paved the way for me at a later date.”
Nick spun in his chair and cradled my face. “I’m so fucking sorry, Mads. I should’ve had your back...ourbacks... and I didn’t. It won’t happen again.”
I tipped his chin up, forcing him to look at me. “Thank you. And not everyone was a jerk. Luther was pretty great, as it turned out. He’s even asked me out for coffee.”
Nick’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”
I nodded. “I think we even could become friends.”
Nick snorted. “You just wanna ogle his book collection.”
I grinned. “I will neither confirm nor deny.”
For the first time that morning, Nick’s smile appeared genuine. “Of all Davis’s friends, Luther has always been my favourite. A bit on the cocky side, but sincere.”
That made me laugh. “Pot kettle, methinks.” I pushed his plate of toast back in front of him and tapped it with my finger. “Finish it. You’re still a few kilos too light for my liking.”
He shot me a look that warned me to back off. “I’m fine.” But he took a bite of the toast anyway.
“Good boy.” I side-stepped the elbow that came my way and grabbed both our coffee mugs. “I’ll get us fresh cups.”
