‘Yes, I said all of these things, and they’re all absolutely true, but not once did I mention getting back with Jennifer.’
‘No? Oh God, I am so sorry.’ She put her head into her hands to hide her shame. ‘I’ve got the wrong end of the stick entirely, haven’t I?’
‘Absolutely you have.’ He shook his head, a bemused expression on his face. ‘What I can’t understand is why you would even think that I might be considering something like that, after everything I’ve told you. I thought you knew me better than that.’
‘I thought so too.’ Her mind was a fuzzy mess. ‘I think my insecurities got the better of me,’ she said with an embarrassed smile. ‘When you told me that Jennifer and Jack had split up, I thought it was only a question of time before you two would get back together again.’
‘What…? Has this really been playing on your mind since that day in the pub garden?’
She nodded her silent response.
‘No, that was never the case.’ He shook his head, obviously struggling to understand her train of thought. ‘Despite it probably being an easy option that would make Jennifer and the kids happy, it’s not the right thing. For any of us. Too much has happened and so much has changed. I’m not the same person I was a year ago.’
She nodded again, feeling exposed and desperately stupid that she could have got it quite so wrong.
‘Listen.’ He took hold of her hands in front of him and squeezed them tight. ‘There’s something I need to ask you.’
Her eyes were wide as she nodded her consent.
‘Do you think I can possibly finish my glass of wine now? I really could do with a drink or are you still intent on throwing me out?’
‘No, of course not.’ She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. ‘In fact, let me get you a top-up. It’s the least I can do in the circumstances. Why don’t you stay tonight? I really don’t want you to go now,’ she said imploringly. ‘There’s still so much for us to talk about.’
With them back seated in the orangery, and Barney still firmly on Team Rob, snuggled up as he was with his head on his lap, Tess managed to make room for herself, and edged alongside Rob. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and she rested her head on his chest.
‘I’m sorry, again.’
‘Stop apologising.’
‘But I don’t want to be that person who’s needy and suspicious. That’s not who I am, but I guess it’s more difficult than I thought, treading this new path, after such a long marriage.’
‘Look, don’t worry, we’re both finding our way here. I know who you are and you’re not a jealous person, but don’t let’s make this more difficult than it needs to be. I would never hurt you, not deliberately at least. What I’ve always loved about our relationship, which was evident from the start, is that it felt very natural, and easy. As though neither of us were having to try too hard.’
‘Yes, definitely.’ And that was perhaps why Tess had been distrustful of their relationship, because it had seemed too easy, too good to be true, even. Mindful of protecting her heart, in case anything went wrong, she had held part of herself back, but she was beginning to realise now that perhaps she didn’t need to.
‘I want you to know that I wouldn’t want to go back to Jennifer even if you and I weren’t an item. I’ve closed the door on that particular chapter of my life. It’s time for everyone to move on. Obviously, after all the hurt and upheaval, I’m sorry for Jennifer that it didn’t work out with Jack, but I can’t be held responsible for her happiness any longer.’ He gave a regretful shrug and Tess nodded her understanding. ‘She’ll be okay, but these things take time. I think both you and I are battle weary after our break-ups, but we’ve come this far and we’re doing well. I’m proud of us, and how strong and resourceful we’ve been, but this is only the beginning.’ He held up her hand in a winner’s salute, pumping the air, making her laugh.
What a relief it was to Tess to be able to clear the air. Hearing Rob talk candidly about his feelings, and his marriage, which he hadn’t often done before and Tess had been loath to probe, went a long way to reassuring her that they were of a similar mindset, that she could trust him to be honest and upfront with her. It was still early days for them, who knew what the future might hold, but she was really looking forward to finding out.
‘I’m discovering that it’s not always straightforward, the moving-on process, and I can’t always trust my emotions. That’s my excuse for jumping to conclusions,’ she said with an apologetic smile. ‘It’s been a crazy few days. I don’t think I realised how uptight I was about my guests arriving, and then with Barney escaping, and now Charles being in hospital, it’s been stressful to say the least.’
‘What?’ Rob’s reaction was immediate and concerned.
‘Oh, I’ve not told you, have I?’ Her head really was all over the place right now. ‘He’s got pneumonia. We went to see him earlier and he seems in a pretty bad way.’
‘Christ, I’m sorry to hear that. You must be worried.’ Rob squeezed Tess’s shoulder and she was grateful for his support, for him simply being there, because Charles’s current predicament had stirred all sorts of unfathomable feelings within her.
‘Yes, he’s always been such a fit and strong man, so to see him so unwell is upsetting. It’s Hannah I’m mostly worried about. She’s taken it hard. Her relationship with her dad hasn’t been great ever since she came home from travelling so this has come as a real shock. I think it’s made her realise that her dad isn’t invincible, that he might not always be around.’
‘That’s not such a bad thing. No one would have wished this on Charles, but if it means that it helps in rebuilding his relationship with his daughter, then that has to be a good thing.’
‘Yeah, I suppose so.’ She knew Rob was only trying to find some positivity in such a dark situation, but Tess couldn’t really view it that way yet. ‘I just hope he pulls through.’
‘Ah, come here. This must be so tough on you, too.’ Rob cupped his hand around Tess’s face, his eyes filled with tenderness. ‘You know I’m here if there’s anything I can do to help, even if it’s just providing some moral support or a cuddle.’
‘Thanks.’ She exhaled a big sigh. ‘All cuddles gratefully received at the moment.’ She lifted her head to look up at his handsome profile, only relieved that their earlier misunderstanding had been cleared up.
He leaned down to kiss her on the lips in a way that was so gentle and tentative that it made her whole body unfurl, releasing all the pent-up emotions of the day. In Rob’s arms, she felt so at home, at one with herself and with Rob, believing that everything would work out for the best, if she would only trust in their connection. She returned his kisses, enjoying every sensation, the scent of him teasing at her nostrils, the feel of his light stubble against her cheek, the taste of him on her lips and the way his touch sent ripples of delight to the tips of her fingers and to the ends of her toes. The weight of his body against hers made her fall back against the sofa and she wriggled, making herself comfortable, annoying Barney in the process, who reluctantly shifted out of the way of the tangle of limbs. She giggled as Rob inflicted a barrage of tiny kisses along her neck and collarbone, making her squirm in delight until they both stopped, alerted by a noise behind them. Quickly disentangling themselves, they pushed themselves up to find Hannah observing them disapprovingly.
