‘It’s good work experience for her. She’s gaining skills and earning money. And it’s just down the road. To me, it seems like the perfect way to spend her time.’
Charles shook his head, his jowls wobbling, and Tess had to suppress a smile. For all the years they were happily married, she’d hardly noticed his mannerisms and foibles. Now, she saw them all the time. Had she been so in love with her husband that she’d failed to see his faults or had they taken each other so much for granted that they’d completely lost sight of who the other person really was?
‘Does she realise that I am on her side? That I’m here for her? I miss her. She doesn’t want to talk to me these days. I’d like for her to come and spend some time with me and Melody, but she isn’t interested.’
‘She’s had a lot going on. She’s probably not in the right headspace to meet your new girlfriend right now.’ Tess’s eyebrows lifted involuntarily. ‘You need to be patient with her. She’s stepping out into the world and perhaps she doesn’t need us in the same way as she might once have done. That has to be a good thing, doesn’t it?’
‘Not if it means I’m going to lose her. I feel as though she’s slipping away from me.’ Tess could hear the anguish in his voice. ‘We used to be so close, but now there’s this big gap between us. She resents me for leaving you, for leaving all this behind.’ There was a note of wistfulness to his voice as his gaze travelled around the kitchen before he ran a hand through his greying locks. He lifted his head to look at her. ‘You know, sometimes, I wonder if I didn’t make the biggest mistake of my life.’
‘Well, it’s far too late to be having thoughts like that,’ she snapped, before giving a careless shrug. ‘I hate to say it,’ she said, quietly relishing the moment, ‘but you’ve made your bed; you now have to make it as comfortable as you possibly can.’
‘I’m trying to do that, but it isn’t easy. It feels like I’m losing you both, everything we had here.’
‘That’s generally what happens when you walk away from a marriage, Charles. You can’t really expect to have a foot in both camps. Can you?’
Although judging by his expression and some of his recent musings, Tess could believe that was exactly what he wanted.
‘I don’t know what I expected, but I’m not certain it was this.’ He pressed on his lips, observing her thoughtfully. ‘Can I ask a favour of you? Can you talk to Hannah for me, please? Tell her how much I love her, how I’m always here for her. That I would do anything to help her. I’ve told her myself, but I think if it came from you, she might actually take note.’
Tess swallowed a sigh. Despite her earlier murderous intentions towards Charles, she had already spoken to Hannah about her dad, trying to remain dispassionate about the situation, urging her not to let her anger towards him spoil what had previously been a very special relationship. The last thing Tess wanted was for Hannah and Charles to grow apart, for them to create a crack in their relationship that couldn’t be mended. She lifted her gaze to look at him, feeling a pang of sadness that they found themselves in this situation. They had been married for over thirty years. It was only natural that she would have some residual feelings for him, but something she’d learned in recent months was that she couldn’t be held responsible for other people’s happiness. For too many years, she’d taken it upon herself to do everything she could to make everyone else’s life easier, to take away their stress and to take on the burden of their emotions, often at the expense of her own needs and happiness. She felt some empathy for Charles, but it wasn’t down to her to sort out his relationship issues with his daughter. It was something he had to do for himself.
‘Look, Charles, you know what Hannah’s like. Anything you have to say to her is much better coming from you. Why don’t you suggest going out for dinner just the two of you? Try and get your relationship back on track before introducing her to Melody. I suspect Hannah needs some time. Treat her with kindness and patience, and I’m sure you’ll be able to work it out between you.’
If they didn’t then that would be sad, but Tess could do no more. She’d been an emotional support to Charles for years. Now it was Melody’s turn to pick up that role.
3
‘Hey, how are you?’
Hearing Rob’s richly warm voice at the end of the telephone was always a highlight of her day. It made Tess smile and immediately took her out of her own head and into that hallowed place that existed only between the two of them.
‘Good,’ she said, elongating the word, imagining Rob smiling at the way her face lit up. She folded the crochet project that she was working on, a small blanket in shades of pink and green, intended to drape over the back of the daybed in the annexe, into her tote bag, and put it to one side. She tucked up her legs next to her on the sofa and nestled into the cushions, wanting to give her full attention to Rob, although Barney of course muscled in on the action and slipped into the space behind Tess’s curled-up legs, making himself comfy.
‘Excellent, and how’s Hannah doing?’ he asked interestedly.
‘A lot better. She’s throwing herself into work, which is a good thing, and we’re spending lots of time together, talking, eating, laughing, crying, making up for the lost time when she was away. It’s been good for both of us.’
Rob, on hearing about Hannah’s recent troubles, had been keeping a low profile, not turning up at Hollyhocks uninvited, not wanting to put too many demands on Tess or to intrude on their mother-daughter time, which he knew was so important right now.
‘Oh, guess who turned up here today in a brand-new Porsche?’
‘Not Charles?’
‘Yes, talk about his midlife crisis. I’m wondering what will come next. He’s struggling with how to handle this situation with Hannah.’ Tess went on to explain about her conversation with Charles, how he was looking to her for guidance and how he appeared like a lost soul at times.
‘You have the patience of a saint, Tess.’
She appreciated how Rob was so understanding, how he didn’t feel threatened by Charles’s continued presence in her life. Rob was always there with a kind and listening ear.
‘Mm, it’s so lovely to hear your voice,’ she sighed. ‘I miss you.’
‘Not as much as I’m missing you, though,’ he said, which was his standard response that always squeezed at her heart, and which she would conjure up in those moments when she noted his absence the most.
She was doing exactly that when she sat at the oak table for supper that night, along with Hannah. Most evenings, they would sit on the sofa in the orangery, or in the snug, with a bowl on their laps to eat their dinners, but on other occasions, Tess liked to make an effort. Tonight, she’d prepared a simple pasta dish of tagliatelle with garlic, pesto, and cherry tomatoes, accompanied by a liberal sprinkling of black pepper and Parmesan cheese. She’d also prepared a green side salad and made some easy bread rolls, which, fresh from the oven, were filling the kitchen with an irresistible smell. She’d laid the table with a cream linen tablecloth, placed a small glass vase of dahlias, picked from the garden, in the centre and lit a candle, creating a warm and welcoming ambience.
It was one of the many things Tess had missed when Hannah was away on her travels: the coming together at the end of the day over some good food and a glass of wine, to chat about their respective days. She noticed it especially so once Charles had left and she was alone in the house without the routines that had given structure and purpose to her days. The whole of this year had been about adapting to enforced changes: first waving Hannah off abroad for six months, the longest she’d ever been away from home, then Charles announcing he was leaving and Tess having to adapt to a new way of life on her own at Hollyhocks Cottage. Through tears and regrets, Tess had made it her mission to face each day as best she could, simply going through the motions until she could actually see a way out of the fog that had descended over her world. Just as she was beginning to adjust to being on her own, Hannah had arrived back from Australia, with her own problems, intending to stay. Not that Tess minded in the slightest. She was at her happiest when she had her family around the dining table.
‘Your dad was round here today,’ Tess said, bringing herself back to the moment.
