The words felt insufficient, but there were…thingshappening inside Seth, and he didn’t know how to say anything better. His fondness for Riley and their magnetic attraction and this new way of seeing him were all melting together into something dangerous.
Seth was in awe of Riley’s strength. His endurance. No matter what Riley thought about himself being monstrous, the fact that he was still so much apersonafter everything that had happened to him—the kind of person that sat in Seth’s bakery and told him bits of stories to make him laugh, who stared like a kid with a crush and flirted terribly and spoke so carefully…
It was a testament to Riley’s humanity, to the boy inside him he’d maintained against all odds. Seth wished Riley could see it that way.
Riley held Seth tighter. “God, Seth, I—” He let out a harsh breath. “Thank you for saying that.”
Seth had to ask, no matter how painful the answer. “When you find your, um, mate, do you think that would help you and your…voice? Aren’t mates supposed to, like, ground you?”
It was strange, the way Riley went so very still beneath Seth. There was a long pause before he spoke. Seth wished he could see his face.
“Someone told you about mates?”
“Yes.”
“Did they tell you it’s not just finding a mate?” Riley asked, an odd note to his voice. Maybe this was a touchy subject for vampires. Maybe Seth should have kept his mouth shut. “They have to be turned for the bond to take place.”
“Oh.” Seth let out an awkward laugh. “No, they didn’t. Still…shouldn’t you be looking for them, maybe?” Oops. So much for keeping his mouth shut. “Or…is that not how it works?”
Riley was silent for a long time, his soft puffs of breath rustling Seth’s curls.
“Seth,” he said eventually, his tone so even it was unreadable.
“Yes?”
“I’ve found my mate already.”
“Oh.” Seth didn’t know how to catalog the ache that stabbed in his chest. Maybe it was sympathy heartburn for all the cookies Riley had eaten. “In—in town? Who?”
He waited, but Riley didn’t answer except to let out a strange, huffing laugh. Then he released his hold on Seth, his hands drifting to rest gently on Seth’s hips. He leaned back, allowing Seth to meet his gaze. And there was a…look there, in those dark eyes. Like Seth was being dense. Like Seth was…
Oh.Oh.
Seth fought the strange urge to break into hysterical laughter. He wasn’t— No. No, no, no. He swallowed. Coughed. Swallowed again. “But how—how do you know?”
“I know.”
The way Riley said it was so definite. Like there was no room for argument or doubt.
But there had to be room for doubt becauseSethdoubted. Seth doubted very, very much.
Jesus. His palms had gone sweaty in an instant. When had the attic gotten so sweltering? They should put a fan in here. Two fans. Twenty fans.
Seth scrambled to his feet, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants as he backed away from the armchair. “Well, I should get going,” he said brightly. Possibly too brightly. His tone might have been bordering on unhinged. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay. And I have. And that’s great. So I’ll just?—”
“Seth.”
Seth grabbed his tote bag off the floor, almost falling on his face before he righted himself. “I go to bed really early every night, you know. And it’s already dark out. I’m miserable without sleep. You have no idea. Why would you? We’ve never slept together.”
Riley was starting to rise from the chair, each movementabnormally slow and exaggerated, like Seth was some wild animal he was trying not to startle. But Seth had already made his way to the ladder, and before Riley could take a step, he was scurrying down it faster than was probably wise.
He knew this wasn’t his best moment, even as it was happening. Panicked retreat was never a good look. But Seth’s brain was rioting.Rioting.
It was just…too much. He’d just found out vampires existed, for fuck’s sake. And now he was destined to be one? To bematedto one? According to some hot nineteen-year-old semirecluse?
Too much. Too. Much.
Seth needed to be at home, under a pile of blankets, with a hot tea and something terrible on the TV. He needed a moment of normalcy where no one’s neck had been recently snapped and no precious childhoods had been stolen by roaming monsters.
