She doesn’t message me back right away, and I’m worried. I don’t want her to feel embarrassed for having had faith in him even though he didn’t deserve it. He’s hurt her so many times. I wish I could give her the strength to know she’s all right no matter what he does.
She starts to reply, and I brace myself.
LEXIE: You know what? I think I am OK.
I breathe a sigh of relief, the knot in my stomach finally easing. She’s older now. Is it possible she’s more resilient than I gave her credit for? That he isn’t going to be able to hurt her anymore?
ME: Love you, Lexie.
I do. She means the world to me, and I never want her to question that. I want her to know I’ll always be here for her. That my love doesn’t come with conditions or expectations like his does.
LEXIE: Yeah, I love you too.
Maybe she’ll finally be able to let it go—move past the hurt he’s caused our family. Like I have.
But…did I?
I walked away from him so many years ago and never looked back. At least, that’s what I told myself. But what if his shadow is still hanging over me, clouding my thinking? What if the bitter feelings I hold in my heart still color every choice I make?
What if they’re keeping me away from a girl who could mean everything to me? Someone I could be good for too.
LEXIE: So what’s up? You guys married yet?
Hmm. I know she’s teasing, but so much has changed in a couple of days.
ME: Umm. No…
I pause. I want Lexie to know something’s shifted, and it seems all right to say. Makes it feel more real.
ME: But things are…happening.
I hit send, then read my words back to myself. It’s true. Everything is changing.
Harper turns out the bathroom light, and I tuck my phone away as she comes to bed. Then I crawl in beside her, sliding my hand over her hip and breathing in the lilac scent of her hair. She’s curled up in my arms wearing nothing but my T-shirt and a pair of those lacy panties, and I know for a fact I can’t let her go. Can’t send her back into that world alone, where she’d be run ragged again.
I won’t do it. Not when I could be her buffer—protect her and keep her safe while giving her the space she needs. I know thatworld, and I could help to clear a path so she could focus on making her music everything she wants it to be.
But it’s more than just protecting her and supporting her. It’s holding her in my arms every night when I go to bed. Dancing with her and kissing her beautiful lips and feeling her energy all around me. Holding her safe in my heart and knowing I’m hers and she’s mine. That we can count on each other.
I just hope it’s not too late.
“Harper?” I whisper.
“Hmm.” Her voice is quiet, almost wavering.
“Baby, I fucked up.” My lungs are tight with emotion as I say the words I know will change everything about my life and what I’ve made of it here. Everything that’s yet to come between us. “I don’t know why I said what I said to you.”
She turns to look at my face, and her eyebrows rise. “What?” But her cheeks are streaked with tears, and I realize she’s been crying.
“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.” I bring my hands to her face, wiping her tears away with my thumbs before wrapping my arms around her. For a moment I worry I’m moving too fast. Scaring her off. Not all girls approach relationships the way I do, with commitment. But I know how I feel about her, and being with Harper makes me bold. Ready to face the next challenge. “I was wrong. It does make sense, you and me. We make so much sense, and the only thing I want is to be with you.”
Her eyes widen with emotion. “Really?”
“Yes. If that’s what you want.” I hold my breath, desperate for a sign of whether I’ve fucked this up beyond repair or if there’s still a chance for us.
And when she nods, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks and a smile spreading across her face, my heart soars.
“Yes. That’s what I want.” She tips her face up and I bend to kiss her, tasting the salt of her tears on my lips.
