“My… choice?” he says like I’m speaking another language. Perhaps I am. But this… this is the only language I know how to speak when it comes to my private life.
“Yes, Oliver. You choose. You don’t have to choose now. You can change your mind, too. But whatever you decide, I want you to tell me, okay?”
He leans in and kisses me, his hand beneath mine squeezing my neck lightly.
“Okay,” he says, pulling away.
I let him go and turn the car on, neither of us saying a word. Oliver leans back in his seat, and the sun starts to rise, peeking through the clouds.
I reach over with one hand, setting it on his thigh.
“PUP," I say, clearing my throat as we pull up to a stop light. The cars are starting to populate now.
“Huh?” Oliver looks at me.
“My safeword. It’s PUP.”
Oliver raises an eyebrow. “Like a puppy?”
I chuckle. “No. But I can see how you would think that.”
Oliver gives me a glare.
“Potentially Unwanted Program," I say as the light turns green.
“PUP," he says, tasting the word on his tongue. “I think I get it.”
I give him a soft smile.
“If I say that, you’ll know I want you to stop whatever it is you’re doing. And you’ll stop. No questions asked.”
Oliver nods, but looks confused.
“What?”
“Why not just say… stop?” he asks, his voice almost far away.
“Because sometimes people think stop means yes," I say carefully. “And sometimes… with informed consent, it can be a yes.”
“Oh," he says, chewing his lip.
“And other times… it may be hard to say stop. Which is why your word holds the power not just tostop, but to express your discomfort, too. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally.”
It gets quiet for a moment.
“Jabberwocky," he says carefully.
“Hmm?”
“Jabberwocky. It’s… a poem. About a monster that gets slain.”
I keep my eyes on the road as we head into the city.
“A monster, huh?”
Oliver nods. “Lewis Carrol wrote it. It… it’s a bunch of nonsense words, but the part that always stuck out to me was the part about the vorpal blade. Cutting the Jabberwocky to pieces.”
“I see.” I turn past the Veil corporate offices. “So if you say Jabberwocky, I will know to slay the monster. I will strike the moment with a vorpal blade.”
