“Keep your eye on your heart, Austen. You’ll never lose sight of things, promise.”
My own heart lodges in my throat, and I feel tears starting to form, so instead of letting my little brother see me cry because he’s doing the one thing I probably will never do, I grab him and pull him into a hug and I let out a heavy breath.
“Now, enough with this emotional shit. Let’s fucking go!” I say, holding him out in front of me just as the horn for the limo sounds. “We’ve got a wedding to go to!”
The photographer takes our photos as we pile into the limo, which is rather spacious, but then again, my parents spared no expense for theirbaby boy.
Like I said, baby siblings get everything. I’m sure if the situation were reversed they’d be nitpicking every design choice and every detail I would decide on. If I ever am lucky enough to land someone who can put up with me and all my bullshit, I’m giving Britt all creative power over my enormous wedding. Because it would be a spectacle, for sure. Whatever saint said yes would need to be celebrated for their lunacy.
Plus, she’s way more talented than me when it comes to party planning.
I lean forward as the guys pack themselves in, grabbing for the champagne. The scent of alpine hits me, and the seat shifts, a grunt following. I don’t have to look to know who’s decided to sit next to me. Mack loves to remind me that what happened between us was a mistake and that no one can ever find out.
But he’s the one who’s always seeking me out. It’s like he can’t help himself. He can’t stay away from me, and I’m not sure if he’s aware of how tuned in to me he actually is.
I pass him the glass of champagne before pouring myself one. On the opposite side of me, Andre works on pouring the glasses for Paul and Hudson, and when Trey squeezes in next to Mack, I make sure he’s got a glass too.Austen is the last to enter and I hand him my glass, since there are only six. Instead, I grab the bottle.
“To Austen and Savannah!” I say, leading the cheer as we all raise our glasses as the limo takes off. I guzzle down what’s left of the champagne as some popular pop song fills the air. Mack’s hand rests on his thigh, inches away from mine, and every ounce of my being wants to touch him, to grab his hand, but I know better.
I drop my hand to my thigh, shifting my position just enough that the motion makes my pinky brush against the side of his. He moves around, grunting and cursing, but he doesn’t move his hand. It’s just a touch, and probably not even noticeable to him. He’s too busy drinking and chatting about football and bullshit with Trey to notice me.
I keep waiting for him to notice. Waiting for him to pull away, but he doesn’t. I finally relax, because he doesn’t move, and we stay like that the whole way until we hit the church.
Chapter Seventeen
Jordan
If Cameron doesn’t show up, I will hunt him down and kill him.
There aren’t many people that I’m close with. My home life made that difficult, thanks to my mother. Austen is my closest friend, and I will do anything to protect him. I have no idea what happened with him and Cameron in Vegas, and I haven’t asked because he won’t tell me anyway. But it’s clear they fought about something. Maybe Austen confronted him about his crush and it went badly. I don’t know, and really I don’t care. All I do know is that Cameron was expected to be here twenty minutes ago—and he isn’t.
Austen feigns calm, but I see in his eyes he’s nervous as hell. His fingers tremble when he reaches for his glass of scotch—a gift from Savannah’s father. The bottle isalmost empty at this point, and it’s not nearly enough to help him. Not nearly enough for me to ignore how fucking good Alex looks in his suit, either. It makes me sick that I even think that. I shouldn’t, and I don’t fucking want to. But for some reason, my stupid eyes keep going toward him, wanting to check out his ass or his arms or just his damn smile. It’s infuriating. Thankfully, Alex hasn’t caught me, though I have a feeling he knows. The little shit always seems to know. That’s why he keeps coming at me. That’s why he keeps flirting and looking at me the way he does. What we did in Vegas doesn’t help. I mean, you can get drunk and do stupid shit, but you don’t get drunk and do things you wouldneverdo otherwise. It’s always something that’s lingering under the surface. Something you’ve thought about. Alcohol just gives you the bravery to do it.
There have been too many nights I’ve fallen asleep thinking about him.
It’s no longer just images in my head but now there are feelings, and not the emotional kind, but the physical memory.
I’ve felt parts of Alex that I shouldn’t have. I’ve tasted his mouth. Had his tongue on my dick.
That… should not have fucking happened.
Once again, I tear my gaze away from Alex, who is laughing with Hudson. I catch a glimpse of Cameron walking in the door, and let out a breath.
Thank fuck.
I down the rest of my drink and moments later we’re ushered out of the room to line up with the bridesmaids. The girl I’m paired with won’t even look at me, and seems disgusted having to be so close to me.
Well, fuck you, too.
To be fair, she doesn’t hesitate when having to hook her arm in mine, and she does smile as we start to walk. Alex is ahead of me, and I try my hardest to not stare at his ass as he walks down the aisle. With my luck, someone would snap a photo of it.
As I walk down the aisle with Jasmine, all I can think about is how awkward this is. Not only because I don’t know her, but because itfeelsweird. She feels weird. She’s tiny and soft and way too pretty. There’s a ton of makeup on her face and I can smell the hairspray from here. It’s intoxicating, and nothing about it is attractive.
Who the fuck finds this attractive?
My stomach bottoms out as we reach the front and part ways, the realization of my thoughts hitting me all at once. I’m turned off by women. I, Jordan Mackenzie, am not attracted to women.
What the fuck?
