Jordan
We leave the club without telling anyone where we’re going, but I’m sure they’ll figure it out. The hotel isn’t far, but I’m not in the mood to walk, so while Hailey and Alex are making out like teenagers, I hail a cab. I shove them inside, and they don’t even break lip contact.
I have no idea what the hell I’m doing, but I just need to know.
This is an opportunity I may never have again. Drunk, in Vegas, whereanythinghappens and no one talks about it afterwards. I’m in the perfect situation to hook up with a guy and just…know.
And not just any guy, but Alex.
This could be a huge mistake, and maybe I’ll regret it tomorrow butI need to know.
On the elevator up to our floor, Hailey slides her arm around my neck and pulls me down to kiss her. I swear I taste Alex on her lips. From the corner of my eye, I see him watching us and maybe that fuels me on to kiss her a little harder, a little deeper—to pretend I like it more than I actually do.It’s not awful. I don’t hate Hailey. She’s fun and hot, but it’s just… missing something. No different from all the other hooks up I’ve had, or tried to have. Maybe I’m more of a sap than I allow myself to be, and maybe I need some kind of emotional connection or some shit to make things work.
Or there’s the alternative… the one that I can’t bring myself to think about. The one that I may very well have an answer to tomorrow—or in an hour—which may only make this situation worse.
When the elevator stops on our floor, I pull away from Hailey and dig the key out of my pocket. Alex jumps in for his turn, and I already see how this is going to go. I’m not sure why I thought this could actually be a thing—the three of us. Everything has to be all about Alex, all the time. He’s going to shove her into the room and be his extroverted self and get her into bed. I’m going to hide out in the bathroom because there’s no way in hell I can see another guy’s dick so close to mine.
Can I?
No, definitely not.This isn’t the locker room or the bathroom. This issexual.This is hard-ons andcum.
Definitely not into that.
But—
No. Not into it.
I get the door open and Alex and Hailey stumble inside. I lean against the wall as I watch them, focusing on the way Alex is kissing her. With slow, long strokes of his tongue. It’s messy, but not in a bad way. I wonder how he kisses someone he actually gives a fuck about. Would he kiss me the way he’s kissing Hailey, or different?
Her hands slip under his shirt, lifting it enough that I get a glimpse of his abs. When he pulls his shirt off, I take in the curve of his back, his toned arms, and the way his ass looks so damn good in those pants.
Fuck, there’s something wrong with me.
I take in a deep breath, closing my eyes and hating the way my dick twitches when I imagine Alex’s assoutof those pants—when I think about him bent over the bed… This isn’t right. It’s so fucking wrong, and I’m going to hate myself for what I’m about to do. But I am about to do it because despite what people think, it has been a long fucking time since I’ve slept with someone. I let people think what they want, don’t deny it when the guys talk about me taking off with girls, but usually they’re so drunk that I make sure they get home okay and they don’t know the difference. Sometimes they think we fucked, and I let them think that all they want. It helps me in some way. Keeps people from asking questions I don’t want to answer or even think about answering because they don’t make any sense.
I can’t be attracted to men.
I just can’t.
That’s not how it works in my family, my life, my career.
A deep, masculine groan pulls me back to the present, and I find Hailey on her knees, Alex’s dick deep down her throat. He’s got a handful of her hair, slowly thrusting himself into her open mouth. My gaze goes from the way his ass clenches, to the way his dick disappears between her lips. His head is thrown back, lips parted and eyes closed. It’s hot as fuck, but so is porn, so this doesn’t really mean anything.
Though, when my gaze goes back to his ass, and I imagine getting on my knees and burying my face in there, my dick gets harder than it has been in a long fucking time—and it pisses me right off.
“Come on, Jordan,” Hailey says sweetly. “I can take you both at the same time.”
I bring my gaze to Alex, who is watching me over his shoulder with a smirk.
“Nah, that’s a little too—” I close my mouth, swallowing hard.
“Gay?” Alex says, but I don’t answer.
It’s rude as fuck to use that as an excuse. I don’t have a problem with gay people or what they do. I just have a problem withmebeing gay.
“It’s only gay if you like it, Jordan.” Alex winks, and I grit my teeth.
I know what he’s doing, and it’s going to work. There’s something about the way he looks at me, this glimmer in his eye that tells me he sees me differently than other people do. He doesn’t look at me like I’m a piece of meat, the way he looks at everyone else. It’s hard to describe exactly, and maybe it’s more of a feeling than anything else. Or maybe I’m just fucking crazy.
