He holds my gaze, a slow smile spreading across his face.
“Yes, Alex,” he says solidly. “As weird as that sounds, it’s exactly what I want.”
The smile that lights up my face is irrefutable.
“Really?” I ask, breathless as I sit up, drawing myself closer to him and nearly upending the food.
He laughs, tossing the near empty boxes to the side as he leans into my space. “Absolutely.”
There’s a pause, but it isn’t tense. It’s warm. He stares down at me, and I decide to just tell him what’s been on my mind the last year.
“Do you remember Christmas?” I ask.
He smiles. “How could I forget? It was the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”
The honesty in his voice makes my heart swell, because I also felt that way then. I still do.
“I think I knew for a long time thatthat, a house full of life—” I let out a shaky breath, but I don’t break hisgaze because I need to say it. I need to look at him when I say these words, because he needs to know.
“A house full of kids? That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” The small gasp of breath is enough to let me know he heard me, even though his expression doesn’t change. So I continue. “But I never thought it would be a possibility for me. I didn’t see that sort of future with anyone. I could barely see a future for myself.”
“Alex—”
“When you threw me in your truck that night and brought me back to your place, I was a mess. I was broken.” My chest tightens at the memory. “But you saw the mess, and you didn’t run away.”
His eyes cloud with emotion, but I keep going. I can’t stop now.
“You saw me. You’ve always seen me, but that night? You met me where I was. You got on the floor next to me and grabbed me, and you helped meup.You fixed more than my fucking leg,” I say. “You fixedme. You loved me. Well before you said those words. You were doing it all along.”
I close my eyes for a moment, tasting those words for the truth they are.
“You asked me to be patient so you could figure things out, and at the first test of real patience, when I asked you to come with me, I failed. I didn’t know how to meet youwhereyouwere because all I was focused on was where we couldgo.”
“You didn’t fail, Alex.”
“Yes, I did.” I look at him solidly when I say it. “I let my fear get in the way of what I wanted most. A life. With you. I wanted it so badly.” I close my eyes and feel the pain, the guilt all over. But when I open my eyes and look at him, it disappears.
“That’s what I want more than anything,” I say. “ A life with you. Whatever that entails. I know it won’t be easy, and I’ll probably fuck up sometimes because I’m far from perfect, but I love you. So, maybe—” I hold his gaze. “Maybe we can catch our breath together. And figure it out from there.”
He moves closer to me, putting both his hands on my cheeks.
“I should have said this a long time ago, but there’s nothing I can do about that. So I’m going to say it now. All of that? It’s exactly what I want too. And Iwillfuck something up along the way, because it’s what I do, but as long as you’re with me, I think I’ll be okay.Wewill be okay.”
He pulls me in for a kiss, not that I could say anything to that, anyway.
“So that’s it?” I ask when we pull apart. “We’re good?”
He leans down and kisses me. “So fuckinggood, baby.”
My heart swells and I grab his face, pulling him to me. His words are a dream come true.
We spend the rest of the night watching TV, fucking, and cuddling until the sun comes up. And when I wake up, wrapped in his arms, I can’t help but smile. This is going to be my life now. Maybe not right away because we have shit to figure out, but my future is with Jordan. Soon enough, I’ll get to wake up with him every single morning, for the rest of my life. Nothing could be more perfect.
Epilogue
Jordan
Two years later…
