“Whoa, this is so cool. Seriously, thank you.”
“It’s no problem.”
I watch their interaction as they talk about hockey for a few moments. Alex is good with kids. Or maybe it’s just the love of hockey that has him feeling so easy. Either way, I like seeing him like this, in his element.
Alex leaves a few minutes later, and I get started with Lewis’s session. For the next thirty minutes, all he does is go on about how awesome it was to meet Alex and that one day he hopes to play on the same team as him. It could happen, since Lewis is already seventeen.
When my day is done, I notice a missed call from Maggie. I sigh as I stare at the notification. I still haven’t called her, which makes me even more of a bigger piece of shit than I thought I was in the first place. Not only a piece of shit, but a pussy, too. It’s why I won’t call her. I’m scared. Not that I’d admit that out loud to anyone, but that little voice in my head keeps repeating it.
Maggie stays with me. She deals with my shit. What if I ruin this with her and things get fucked up with Alex? I’ll be alone. And as much as I say I like to be alone, I don’t. Not entirely anyway. I like my space, but I like knowing I have someone. Sure, I have Austen, but the guy is barely around because he’s living his own life. I haven’t seen him in a few weeks, and I’m not sure he even knows his brother is living with me. Which is kind of fucked up since Austen is my best friend.
I wait to call Maggie back until I’m outside, in my truck—that I worked my ass off to fix. I appreciate Alex letting me use his car, but fuck that fancy shit. There’s no way in fuck I can drive a BMW on the regular. It’s so not my style.
“Hey, honey,” Maggie greets when she answers.
“Hey.”
“So, I was hoping we could go out for dinner tomorrow night. We haven’t been out in a while.”
“Yeah, sure,” I say without thinking. Because if I think about it, I’m going to feel like a dick. I can’t keep blowing her off, and it’s not that I’m going to play this game with both of them forever, but… just a little longer.
Alex hasn’t said anything about Maggie, so he probably doesn’t care. I’ll talk to her eventually. Maybe after dinner. Maybe this could be a goodbye dinner? I’ll have the conversation at the end of the night, and then I won’thave to see her any more or talk to her. I’ll end things on a good note. It’s not a bad idea.
Traffic is ridiculous for a Thursday. There’s never this much when I’m heading home. It adds an extra half hour to my commute. I guess there was an accident, and they had to shut down the highway to clear it out.
When I get home, dinner is waiting for me.
I could really get used to this. Hell, I think I already have.
The house smells delicious, and the food looks great.
“You know, you don’t have to cook for me every day,” I say as I hang my keys up.
“And miss that look on your face? No way.”
My hands go around his waist, and I kiss him while pulling him closer. He’s warm and feels so good against me. When I pull back, he’s smiling.
“What?” I ask.
He shrugs, his hands coming up around my neck. “I like this.”
“Funny. I was thinking the same thing.”He leans in to kiss me again. “Please let’s eat. I’m starving.”
I roll my eyes and we head to the table to eat dinner. I consider telling him about the date I have with Maggie tomorrow but everything is so perfect right now that I don’t want to ruin it. I’ll tell him in the morning. Or better yet, maybe I’ll just tell him when it’s done—after I break up with her.
Chapter Forty-Four
Alex
All through dinner, I can tell something’s off with Jordan. When I’d left after visiting him for lunch, he seemed good. Happy, even. Not that the man ever really exudes joy or excitement like I do, but I could tell he was okay. Comfortable.
The man currently watching Sports Center in a complete daze is not the same person.
I stare at him from behind the brand new black countertop. I don’t think he’s noticed it yet. Sometimes it takes him a day or two to realize everything around has changed, like he’s in his head too much.
I take in the sight of him, his dark hair and perfect jawline. Broad shoulders and solid form.
I have a feeling I know what’s wrong, but I don’t want to be right.
