“But I just got comfortable,” I whine.
He chuckles. “I promise you’ll be more comfortable in a minute.”
I groan as I let him pull me up off the couch. I stumble and his arms steady me. For a moment, we just stand there. His hands slide over my hips, and around my back. I watch his expression shift as his fingers glide over my skin, over the waistband of my briefs until he settles his hand on my ass. He doesn’t move it, almost like he’s afraid to or doesn’t know where else to put it. He just lets it rest there, his palm heating my skin through the fabric of my athletic shorts.
I lean in and kiss him.
“I’m comfortable right here,” I whisper against his lips. “With you.”
I know the minute I say it that it’s a mistake. I know better than to say things like that. Than to say what I feel to people who don’t want more than sex from me.
But before I can take it back, Jordan kisses me again, pulling me against him and his prominent hardness. His free hand finds the back of my neck and he kisses me slowly.
The sound of the television is white noise.
He pulls away, watching me carefully.
“Can I be honest with you?” he asks.
“Yes. Always.”
“I’m a little freaked out about the sex thing. Not because you’re a guy, but because… sex has been a weird thing for me.”
“We don’t have—”
“I want to though,” he says firmly. “Like… really fucking want to.”
His grip on me tightens and he grinds his dick against me, then rests his forehead against mine. “I want to, Alex. With you.”
His words are full of honesty and trust that I don’t know I fully deserve. I’ve been with plenty of people, played the part many times, but something about the sincerity of his voice, the simplicity of his words…
It feels different. Because it’s not really the words, themselves. It’s how he says them. It’s just him.
I should say no for so many reasons.
I know how this ends. I’ve been in this situation more times than I want to admit, but there's the smallest part of me that dares to hope, to think maybe this time it’ll be different.
Probably not, but what if it is?
What if I fall and someone catches me for once? Or what if we both fall together?
Jordan isn’t Vance. Though there are plenty of similarities, they are not the same.
I lick my lips, nodding in response as my heart beats so loudly in my chest I think he can hear it.
“Okay,” I say, as I let him lead us to his bedroom.
Chapter Forty-One
Jordan
I am nervous as fuck as I lead Alex into the bedroom, all the while wondering if I should back out of this—put him to bed and go sleep on the couch. How the fuck am I going to do this? Why did I think it was a good idea?
Because my dick is demanding attention and he never does that.
It’s been a long time since I’ve played football, but I need to go into this the same way I would go into a game. Holding onto confidence I don’t have.Fake it till you make it.
All I can do is go with it, do what feels right, and hope for the best.
