“Cam…” His name is all I can get out, because my brain and my body are not working together at all.
I settle my hand on his neck, feeling his racing pulse against my palm, and something about that shatters me.
No one, not even Savannah, has ever reacted to my touch like that.
All coherent thought leaves me as I lean in, closing the space between us. My chest brushes against his, and I feel his heartbeat like a freight train, thumping away with anticipation.
I don’t think. For once, I just do what feels right and I kiss him. It’s like a splash of cold water to my system.
His lips are softer than I thought they would be.
I break away for a moment, reality setting in, his hand on my hip warming me like a fire, and every inch of my body melts like molten chocolate.
“Austen…” His voice is thick and tinged with drink, but the words he wishes to say die on his tongue the moment I crush my lips against his and swallow them whole.
Chapter Sixteen
Cameron
The world around me ceases to exist as my most coveted wish in the entire world comes true.
Austen is kissing me.
He is kissing me.
There have been too many nights I’ve imagined this, thought what it would be like, how it would go. I’d wondered if he’d realize that it didn’t matter if he was “straight” because he loved me and knew we belonged together, because we just make sense. Of course, stuff like that only happens in fairy tales. It’s not real, and it certainly doesn’t happen to someone like me.
I’ve had a lot to drink, so it’s very possible the person kissing me right now isn’t Austen. It smells like Austen, but again, I’m drunk.
With my hands on his chest, I push him away, needing to look down at him to know this is who I think it is—who I so desperately want it to be. I see the hurt in his eyes immediately. His lips part, probably about to apologize, but I don't want to hear his words right now. I need more of this. So I lean in to kiss him again, needing to know this is real, that it actually happened, that I didn’t make it up.
His lips are soft, tasting of vodka and a tangy mix of cranberry. He relaxes a tiny bit and I thank whoever the hell is looking down on me to make this happen. For a second, it’s just a fleeting thought, but I wonder if I should put a stop to this. He’s drunk. Maybe he doesn’t know what he’s doing. But he looked at me. He saw me. He said my name. He definitely knows. And besides, this is Vegas. If there ever was a time to do this, it’s now.
Someone bumps into us and our lips tear apart. My hands are still on him, and the moment my eyes open, they find his. He looks terrified but curious.
“Can we get out of here?” I ask, though I’m not sure words actually leave my mouth. I hold my breath as I wait for him to answer. Maybe I’m taking this too far, pushing him too much.
Austen nods, and I take the opportunity to move before he changes his mind.
This is what I need from him, what I’ve wanted for years. He’s my best friend. I love him. And if he’d just let me, I’d give him everything he needs. I know him better than anyone, and if anyone in this world can make him happy, it’s me. This is my opportunity to show him.
As we make our way back to the hotel in a mix of blurry buildings and screaming people, I worry this is taking too much time. That he’s going to change his mind before we get back.Disappointment weighs heavily in my chest. If that’s what he chooses to do, then that’s what he chooses to do. I can’t force him. I can only hope that this wasn’t just a drunk mistake, that he finally realized we should be together.
My fingers fumble with the key card as I try to open the door, and when it snaps shut behind us, it’s silent in the room, nothing but our heavy breathing echoing around us.
Lights shine in from the open windows, brightening it enough that I can see him.
I’m not sure what to do now that we’re here. I was so worried about him changing his mind on the way that I hadn’t thought that far. Though I can think of a hundred things I’d love to do to him right now, I’m just not sure what he’s thinking. What he’s expecting.
Technically, he’s just cheated on Savannah. And whatever we do moving forward will be cheating.
If I were a better man, I’d feel bad. But I don’t because I’m not. I’m selfish, and Austen is my best friend, the one good thing I have in this world and all I want is for him to feel the same about me.
“Cameron…”
My name is a whisper, and I wait for the next words to come out of his mouth, to tell me it was a mistake and he’s going to leave and go get another room or something equally as hurtful.
But someone is watching out for me tonight, because that’s not what he does.
