“I’m just afraid that if I don’t do this, I never will.”
“But you need to be sure.”
He shakes his head, taking the last bite of his food and tossing the tray into the trash we walk by.
“Savannah is convinced this is a dream I’ll never reach. That I’m wasting my time.”
“Fuck Savannah.” He frowns. “Sorry,” I mutter. “But seriously. I’d say that about anyone. It is your dream, Austen, meaning you should chase it. Don’t let anyone hold you back from what you want to do.”
“You make it sound so easy,” he says, sliding his left hand into his pocket.
“It is easy.” I finish my food and dump the tray into another can we pass. “You just have to do it.”
“Maybe for you.”
I take his right hand, linking our fingers together. “Well, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. How can I help?”
Austen stops walking, causing people behind us to groan and curse. He pulls me to the side so we aren’t blocking anyone.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“I’m just… I don’t understand how everything with you is so easy. How I’m here and I’m happy and free. But my life isn’t like this, Cameron.”
“It can be,” I urge. “It always could have been. If you’d just…”
My words trail off because I don’t want to upset him. I don’t want to hurt his feelings or cause a fight. I don’t want to force him into choosing me. I can’t convince him to do that. It won’t be real if I have to do that…
“If I what?”
“Nothing.”
“Tell me.” He grips my shirt, pulling me closer. “Please, tell me.”
“You know what I’m going to say.”
“Say it anyway,” he pleads, his voice barely a whisper. He looks up at me with cloudy blue eyes, imploring my gaze.
“If you’d have picked me.”
His eyes search mine, and I can’t tell what he’s thinking or how he feels about that. It’s too late to go back now, and of course he knows this is what I’ve thought all these years. Why I was so angry. He’s not stupid.
There’s a thick silence between us, but his gaze holds mine.
“What about now?” he asks, his words breathless.
“What?”
He reaches his free hand out, settling his palm on my neck. He doesn’t move it, just rests it there. “Can I pick you now?” he asks, his words firm. “Or am I too late?”
Fuck, is this really happening? Is he like… saying he wants to be with me for real? That this isn’t just some secret love affair rendezvous thing, but that we could actually be together?
I’ve waited so long to hear those words, convinced it would never happen. That it was nothing more than a fantasy.
His thumb moves slowly along my neck as he slides his fingers towards the nape of my neck, the edges of his fingertips playing with the edges of my hair.
“It’ll never be too late, Austen. Never.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
