Bella?
It’s a school night.
Aren’t the boys in bed?
Yeah
[gif of the Sex and the City women walking in slow mo]
Thirty minutes later Bella, Summer, and Raven are on my couch.
“Sorry, I know I’m normally the life of the party…” I trail off, unsure how I even want to finish that thought.
Summer places a hand on my arm, rubbing small comforting circles. “What’s going on?”
I sigh, trying to decide where to start. “So I’ve been seeing someone.”
“We know,” the girls practically answer in unison.
I look between Summer and Raven. “I figured Summer knew because I missed pickup at that playdate, but how do you know?” I ask Raven.
“Ned said he saw you two driving through town together one night last week. Said you stopped at the light in front of the store, and he saw Mike lean over and kiss you.”
That must have been the night we went to his place. I look at her apologetically. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I feel like an asshole.”
“Eh, I figured you’d tell me when there was something to tell. Despite working at a newspaper, I don’t think every bit of gossip in this town is newsworthy. You know me, I’m not really one to get FOMO about stuff.”
“So what happened with Mike? Are we here for the big talk-you-off-the-cliff speech?” Summer asks.
“Yes. No? I don’t know.” I sigh. “I know I tend to be tight-lipped about my past, but I had some really shitty exes, and the last one really fucked with my head and my self-confidence. He called me boring in bed and would make little comments here and there about my weight, and how my clothes fit, and whether I should really be eating that,” I say, doing an impression of Kyle. “And my body changed so much after having the boys that I just started to feel like, I dunno… not myself.”
“I totally get where you’re coming from,” Summer says with a warm smile. “Motherhood is hard. But you don’t have to do it alone. You have us.”
I return her smile as I continue sharing my truth. “My ex never wanted to have kids, and Levi was so difficult. I knew I couldn’t handle any more kids on my own, so I had a tubal ligation. It was also supposed to help with my endometriosis.But then I met Mike. And he is amazing, but he wants a big family, and I can’t give him that.”
“Oh, Lucy,” Summer says, pulling me into a hug.
“Please don’t tell me this one was calling you a good girl in an ambulance too, or on a firetruck.” Raven lifts an eyebrow.
We all burst into laughter at Raven’s unexpected joke.
“Look at you cracking jokes. That’s my job!” Bella playfully says.
“He did not call me that in an ambulance,” I say.
“Good, because I just don’t think that’s very professional.”
“I agree with Raven. I think it’s hot in a book, but I don’t think I’d like it in real life,” Summer says.
“Oh, trust me you would,” Bella and I say in unison.
“Please tell me someone has at least called you a good girl before,” Bella says to Raven.
“Nope, and I’m not sure I’d like it if one did,” Raven replies.
“Okay, you need to readHitched and Tiedby Ayana Cox,” I tell her.
“Oh my God, I don’t think I’ve ever realized how much her name sounds like ‘I wanna cock,’” Bella squeals.
