“Oh.”
“I’m happy to watchBlueywith you, but can we watch the FaceTime one with Muffin? It kinda reminds me of our FaceTime run-in.”
I can feel the blush cover my cheeks as I sink lower on the couch. “It’s called ‘Faceytalk.’”
He smiles at me, throwing his arm around me, and we watch the entire episode. Each time Mike chuckles at something on the screen, I’m filled with warmth until I think about my conversation with Bella and what I need to talk to him about. When the episode ends, I let the next one play as I keep my eyes on the screen. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.” He angles his body toward mine, and I twist my hands together as I piece together how to word things.
“You said you wanted a big family.”
“I did. Ma’s been on me for years to settle down and start a family.”
“I get that it’s important to your parents, but is thatsomething you want? Four or five kids? Or just something you say to please your folks?”
He searches my face before answering. “Aye. I do want that. Though some days I think that’s too many kids.”
“Trust me, it’s too many. So what’s stopping you?” I ask. There has to be a reason he’s never settled down before now, and I cling to the delusion that maybe it’s because he doesn’t really want that many kids.
“I don’t think I’d be a good dad. Got a lot of growing up to do.”
I stare at him in disbelief. That was the last answer I was expecting. “Are you kidding me?”
“Nope. I know I’m a good time, but that’s all I am. It takes more than fart jokes at bedtime to make someone a good dad. And I don’t feel like I’ve had much more than that to offer.”
His vulnerable admission stuns me. “Mike, you have to know you are so much more than that.”
“Am I now?”
“Yes. You’re incredible with my boys. They love hanging out with you. I think you’ll make an amazing father one day.”
“I make fart noises, and they laugh. I entertain ’em, that’s all.”
“Fart jokes are always funny. But you make my boys feel seen. You light up when you see them, and you give them your full attention when most people brush them off as nuisances to be seen and not heard.”
“I could never ignore them. They’re too feckin’ cute.”
“You make them feel valued and loved.”
“They’re easy to love.” He stares at me intently, and while I normally would panic under such intense scrutiny, I can’t look away.
“You would make an incredible father. Any kid would be lucky to have you as their dad. My kids would be lucky to have a dad like you.”
“Careful there, Lucky. That’s not casual talk.”
I drop my head, looking down at my lap as I fidget with my hands, avoiding eye contact with him as I weigh out how much to admit.
Fuck it.
“What if I don’t want casual anymore?”
“Thank fuck.” He hooks a finger under my chin and tilts my head toward his as he closes the distance between us and seals his lips to mine, taking his time to devour me like I’m the last pint of Guinness at a crowded bar on St. Patrick’s Day. “I didn’t want to be the first to admit that,” he says between kisses.
I pull back, placing my hands on his chest, preventing him from kissing me further. He’s hinted at wanting more, but have I really been that daft not to see his sincerity? “How long have you felt this way?” My tone is gentle, laced with concern as my eyes search his for the truth.
“Longer than I care to admit.”
My brow furrows. “Please. I need to know.”
