“I… ummm… I should clean this up.” She looks down at the counter, stacking plates as she reaches for the discarded napkins the boys left behind.
“Pretty sure you got most of it on me, a chroí.”
“I should get something to clean your shirt with.”
“It’s white wine. Other than a few damp spots, I’m grand. I’d rather you sit with me while we have a moment to talk without wee ears around.”
“Okay.” She slowly leans back in her chair, and I tug her seat closer to me.
“That’s better.”
The smell of her fruity, floral scent hits my nose, instantly taking me back to the night we checked the first item off her list. I exhale, fighting the urge to pull her into my lap and kiss her senseless. “I’ve always wanted a big family. My parents struggled to conceive, and giving birth to me nearly killed Ma. She’d had several miscarriages and always considered me her good luck charm. Da always talked about how important it was to carry on the family name, and I want to be able to do that for him. And I love kids, and they seem to tolerate me.”
Her body stiffens next to me, and I will her to look at me, wanting to search her eyes for the truth she’s hiding from me. She doles out tidbits of herself like an iceberg, you think you’re getting it all at first glance, but under the surface it goes so much deeper than she’s willing to show. There’s way more to her than what she shares, but I’ve caught glimpses of her here and there, and I really like what I see.
“I hope you get that one day,” she says, staring into her empty wine glass, and I don’t like her tone. It feels like she’s pulling away from me, and I’m not sure why.
“Did I say something that upset you?” I place a hand on her arm, and she stares at it like it might burn her.
“No. I’m just thinking about everything I have to do once I get these two monsters down for bed.” While there may be some truth to that statement, I can tell there’s more going on in that pretty head of hers, but I let it go, squeezing her forearm once before releasing it.
“I can help,” I offer.
“It’s fine. You don’t have to.” She stands and carries the plates and silverware to the sink. “I’m going to go start the bedtime ritual. It’ll probably take me about an hour with their bath now because of Micah’s cast and the mess Levi made of his hair. You don’t have to stay.”
It’s brief, but I see a flicker of something in her eye. Besides the sadness, there’s a glimmer of hope, maybe? Or longing?Her gaze lingers on my lips for a second before she turns and heads for the stairs.
“Lucy.”
She stops, refusing to turn around.
“I’ll wait for ya.”
Her head peeks over her shoulder and turns ever so slightly in my direction.
“If you need an hour to put them down. I’ll wait. Go do what you need to do. But I’ll be here when you’re done.”
“Why would you do that?”
“So I can give ya a proper kiss good night. This is a date, after all.”
She nods once, giving nothing away, and then hurries up the stairs.
I survey the living room and kitchen, taking in the mess. I smile to myself as I remember all the times Ma would get on to me for not picking up after myself, and Da would say that the best memories are messy ones. I feel like we made some good memories tonight.
When I see the toy bin in the corner of the room, I decide to clean up the play area. She said she had a lot to do once she got the boys to bed, so maybe I can take some of the burden off her.
I’m not sure if there’s a system for storing all this shite, but I do my best to cram it all in the bin. When it’s clear there’s too much to fit, I pull out some of the larger toy trucks and line them up neatly in front of the toy box. It takes a lot longer to clean the room than I expected, and despite my extensive workouts in the gym, my back aches from all the bending over.
How does she do this by herself every day? I’m in awe of this woman.
I head over to the kitchen next, gathering up any stray snack cup or plate I see on my way. I hand-wash the dishes I used to cook our meal and all the other dishes that were lyingabout, and then I try my best to figure out where they go once they’re dried. How can two tiny humans dirty so many dishes in a day?
There’s a lot of laughter coming from upstairs, and I chuckle to myself each time I hear Levi shout the word “penis” at the top of his lungs.
I know she said that she doesn’t want more than just sex, but my heart cracks a little thinking about the fact that they’re up there and I’m down here by myself. We had a good time together tonight, and I want to show her that I’m serious about her and her boys.
Hanging out with Lucy and her kids gives me the same rush of feelings I get around my folks. Like a weight is lifted from my chest. Like the scary shite I have to do at my job is worth it when I get to spend my off days with them. Like I belong to something bigger than myself.
